Here, in no particular order, is a list of three things that I'm definitely not going to do today:
Fly down the Death Star trench and fire torpedoes (especially not without the targeting computer!)
Get adamantium metal bonded to my skeleton
Publish a serious blog post
How about you? Are there any things that you've definitely ruled out for the day?
I'm pretty certain the following will NOT happen today:
1. Sucking a large piano, UP my nose.
2. Going to lunch with Nancy Pelosi.
3. Go skydiving with Exterminator.
I think you should try #3......TODAY. LOL
Quote from: pariann on May 28, 2009, 10:32:23 AM
I think you should try #3......TODAY. LOL
you don't love me anymore do you?... :no:
BUT does she love you any less?
1. Blow my nose while driving on the DC beltway.
2. Bend over to tie my shoelaces while riding the Farragut Square Metro escalator.
3. Buy a hot dog from that smelly guy on Connecticut Avenue.
Quote from: Henry Hawk on May 28, 2009, 10:38:51 AM
you don't love me anymore do you?... :no:
I love you just fine. :biggrin: I just think you would have a blast free falling. :wink:
Quote from: Elaine on May 28, 2009, 09:29:09 AM
How about you? Are there any things that you've definitely ruled out for the day?
I really don't think I'm going to achieve world peace. But I
might bring the onset of the revolution closer!
1. Win the $222 million Powerball Jackpot.
2. Match any number whatsoever on my Powerball ticket.
3. Buy anymore Powerball tickets.
:mad:
You do realize that today...(when you wrote this) isn't Powerball day?? LOL Let's see if you say the same thing on Saturday.
1. Give the cat a bath
2. Stalk anyone, no matter what
3. Write my phone number on truck at Pilot
1. Shave my head
2. Lick the sidewalk
3. Deal w/someone else's drama
1. Ride and Airbus 330, from from Rio de Janeiro to Paris.... :no:
2. Buy a Government...I mean a General Moters vehicle... :no:
3. Open an Abortion Clinic in WICHITA, Kan.... :no: :no:
Quote from: Locutus on May 28, 2009, 10:19:15 PM
1. Win the $222 million Powerball Jackpot.
2. Match any number whatsoever on my Powerball ticket.
3. Buy anymore Powerball tickets.
:mad:
I actually came so close to hitting that one it isn't even funny. Won some $$ too, but nothing compared to what it almost was.
I was off on two number by 1, and had the rest dead nuts! :rant: Went into work the next day and told them they almost lost me. The GM thought I was BSing him, but I showed him the ticket and the official numbers as drawn. . .
Dang it! :rant:
Okay, back on topic:
1. Exercise the two second rule if I drop food onto the floor.
2. Eat food off the table in the store.
3. Play with matches.
1. stick my tongue on an ice cube tray
2. eat liver or lima beans
3. make a serious post on any forum
1. Eat Tofu
2. Graze
3. Pimp slap my boss. . . :rant:
1. Wish today wasn't the last day of school. :razz:
2. Stay sober after 4PM.
3. Go to the gym.
1. Take a long walk in the hot sun without sunscreen, or actually, any long walk.
2. Anything for money.
3. Go to Mexico for any reason.
1. Complain because someone in my office has an American Flag Standing by their desk.
2. Sing "Amazing Grace" with Dan Foster.
3. Watch Jay Leno on the tonight show, tonight.
1. Ask who Dan Foster is
2. Stalk a football player (offer only good for one day)
3. Call the Queen of England and invite myself to tea
1. Slap an armed police officer
2. Read WND
3. Drink battery acid
Quote from: Elaine on June 01, 2009, 02:38:53 PM
1. stick my tongue on an ice cube tray
2. eat liver or lima beans
3. make a serious post on any forum
So does that mean you
WILL be sticking your tongue on an ice cube tray and you
WILL be eating liver or lima beans? :-\ ;D
1. Piss off Susan Boyle.
2. Lose any sleep worrying about Jon and Kate.
3. Pee on an electric fence.
1. Give my neighbor the finger
2. Watch soap opera reruns
3. date the whopper jr guy
1. Tease the tigers
2. Ride near a blue-hair
3. Buy a Buick (Or any other car for that matter!)
1. Is miss my 8-year old son's baseball game tonight.
2. Tell my boss to 'suck ass'...
3. Stay inside for lunch.
1. Get Punked by some moron.
2. Google anything.
3. Deliver an elbow smash to my superior with extreme prejudice. (As much as I'd like to).
1. Invite my boss for a beer
2. Ask Oprah for my own show
3. Try to hold a conversation with someone who can't understand me.
1. Laugh at the witch as she limps down the hall.
2. Laugh at the witch as she complains about her broken wrist.
3. Even have to see the witch.
1. Drink wine
2. Dig in the dirt
3.Spend the day in the sun
1. Join the NAACP
2. Buy a parrot, no matter how much my granddaughter begs
3. Drive my convertible under a flock of red berry eating birds
1. Walk barefoot in the pasture.
2. Wear meat underwear while tending a pack of wolves.
3. Piss into the wind.
1. Think about things that I have no control over
2. Forget to do the things on my mental to do list.
3. Allow the anger addict that I work with to ruin my day.
1. Listen to rap music
2. Take a nap (as badly as I would LIKE to)
3. Get upset over politics..... :no:...I'm NOT...I'm NOT...I'm NOT!!!
1. Tug on Superman's cape
2. Pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
3. Mess around with Jim
(With apologies to Jim Croce. :wink:)
1. Apply for a new job.
2. Take a walk in the rain.
3. Give Henry crap when he breaks down and gets upset over politics. :razz: :biggrin:
Quote from: Henry Hawk on June 08, 2009, 12:30:10 PM
1. Listen to rap music
2. Take a nap (as badly as I would LIKE to)
3. Get upset over politics..... :no:...I'm NOT...I'm NOT...I'm NOT!!!
:biggrin:
Quote from: Locutus on June 08, 2009, 01:39:12 PM
1. Apply for a new job.
2. Take a walk in the rain.
3. Give Henry crap when he breaks down and gets upset over politics. :razz: :biggrin:
:rotfl:
1. shoot the sheriff
2. miss the deputy
3. throw momma from the train
1. be jealous of my sons much nicer car
2. see the witch
3. go to the grocery store
1. write a novel
2. give my neighbor the finger
3. move my car up so she can park
1. Back down from my convictions
2. Go snowboarding
3. Take any crap from Locutus.... ;D
1. Let desperate actions evoke an emotional response.
2. Respond any further to unreasonable statements.
3. Pick my nose and make you eat it.
Quote from: Palehorse on June 10, 2009, 10:10:46 AM
1. Let desperate actions evoke an emotional response.
2. Respond any further to unreasonable statements.
3. Pick my nose and make you eat it.
ewwwwwww!
now thats a good one
1. Forget that we are STILL in a WAR.
2. Forget to thank God, for my blessings.
3. Forget WHO my friends are.
1. Respond to non-respondents.
2. Write Russian.
3. Fart under the blankets.
1. Finish the application for Survivor
2. Get trashed and sing karaoke at the strip bar up the street
3. Call the president again (they get real fussy when you ask for Rocky Obama)
I am going to add a forth one today....
4. Respond to anything Dan Foster has to say......(it is a waste of energy)
Quote from: Palehorse on June 11, 2009, 10:25:12 AM
1. Respond to non-respondents.
Hey! I'm non-resident and you have to respond to me! You're the only one who gets my sense of humor.
Quote from: LOsborne on June 11, 2009, 07:26:51 PM
Hey! I'm non-resident and you have to respond to me! You're the only one who gets my sense of humor.
Aye Lass. . . And it be you getting my own! :smile:
1. Answer the door in my nightgown
2. Answer the phone in my nightgown
3. Tell anyone why I am wearing a nightgown at 11 am
1. Play with sharp things.
2. Snort a night-crawler.
3. Play in traffic.
1. Eat a bug
2. Pee my pants
3. Give my real name to a telemarketer
1. Play in dog poop.
2. Eat carnival food.
3. Get burnt.
1. Make a prank phone call
2. Paint the house
3. Tease the vicious dog next door
1. Rain dance
2. Spirit dance
3. Hip-hop.
1. Miss my son's b-ball game tonight!
2. Drink spoiled milk (almost though.. :eek:)
3. Try to understand the position and the momentum of a particle.
Quote from: Henry Hawk on June 15, 2009, 11:09:08 AM
1. Miss my son's b-ball game tonight!
2. Drink spoiled milk (almost though.. :eek:)
3. Try to understand the position and the momentum of a particle.
Pull up the national radar Hank. . . I'm thinking number one is toast! :biggrin:
Quote from: Palehorse on June 15, 2009, 11:17:02 AM
Pull up the national radar Hank. . . I'm thinking number one is toast! :biggrin:
WTHR..SKYTRAK WEATHER
Today will be mainly dry, with a high in the low 80s. There's a slight chance for isolated showers and t-storms south of I-74.I really hope they are correct!!... :yes:
Quote from: Henry Hawk on June 15, 2009, 11:31:53 AM
WTHR..SKYTRAK WEATHER
Today will be mainly dry, with a high in the low 80s. There's a slight chance for isolated showers and t-storms south of I-74.
I really hope they are correct!!... :yes:
Why would you believe the liberal media on such an important issue?
Quote from: Exterminator on June 15, 2009, 11:35:59 AM
Why would you believe the liberal media on such an important issue?
that's is the best I can do.......hey, Chuck Lofton is good ol conservative....
Quote from: Henry Hawk on June 15, 2009, 11:38:08 AM
that's is the best I can do.......hey, Chuck Lofton is good ol conservative....
Chuck who? Sorry, I'm too busy ogling Julia Moffitt to catch the others' names.
Quote from: Exterminator on June 15, 2009, 11:46:33 AM
Chuck who? Sorry, I'm too busy ogling Julia Moffitt to catch the others' names.
:drool1: :drool1: :drool1: :drool1: :drool1: :drool1:
Quote from: Henry Hawk on June 15, 2009, 11:31:53 AM
WTHR..SKYTRAK WEATHER
Today will be mainly dry, with a high in the low 80s. There's a slight chance for isolated showers and t-storms south of I-74.
I really hope they are correct!!... :yes:
That Klingon force field you guys seem to have put into place must be working. It is shifting south and going around us. . . again. . . :rolleyes:
Now I'll have to water the flowers. . . :rolleyes:
Quote from: Palehorse on June 15, 2009, 12:30:50 PM
Now I'll have to water the flowers. . . :rolleyes:
I had the big sprinkler on the vegetable garden this morning before I left for work...just in case. :wink:
Quote from: Exterminator on June 15, 2009, 12:38:01 PM
I had the big sprinkler on the vegetable garden this morning before I left for work...just in case. :wink:
I glanced at the weather radar (national) this morning before leaving and it looked like that line was headed straight for us. . . Otherwise I'd have drug the steel horse out of the barn and rode this morning instead of driving in. . . :mad:
I have to drag out 130 feet of hose to water the flowers now. . . But they are worth it because they bring my wife such pleasure. . . :smile:
Quote from: Palehorse on June 15, 2009, 12:48:17 PM
I have to drag out 130 feet of hose to water the flowers now. . . But they are worth it because they bring my wife such pleasure. . . :smile:
It takes a lot less hose than that to bring my GF pleasure. :biggrin:
Quote from: Exterminator on June 15, 2009, 01:05:02 PM
It takes a lot less hose than that to bring my GF pleasure. :biggrin:
:biggrin: :spooked:
Seriously, though, to hit all of the vegetable and flower plantings takes pretty much all 125 feet of hose that we have.
Quote from: Exterminator on June 15, 2009, 01:09:51 PM
Seriously, though, to hit all of the vegetable and flower plantings takes pretty much all 125 feet of hose that we have.
I hear yah. I've got twice that amount and there are a couple of spots on our property I still cannot reach. Thankfully they are areas she doesn't currently have flowers in. . . :biggrin: (But it's early yet) :spooked:
I thought about installing some kind of sprinkler system, but that's just a bunch of work waiting to get done long-term. . . not to mention the expense. . .
1. Will not expect my husband to give me all that hose
2. Will not laugh at Palehorse and Exterminator for telling about their own hoses.
3. Look up "watering the flowers" online to see what it really means
Quote from: Elaine on June 15, 2009, 02:43:57 PM
1. Will not expect my husband to give me all that hose
2. Will not laugh at Palehorse and Exterminator for telling about their own hoses.
3. Look up "watering the flowers" online to see what it really means
:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
1. be ashamed of being a Christian.
2. pour hot coffee in my lap from McDonalds.
3. talk about my hose.
1. Enroll in a yoga class
2. Pull up all my flowers
3. Drink out of the bird bath
1. Kill my brother-in-law
2. Assume the porn on my computer came from the prince LOL
3. Cry over the hail damage to my flowers ..sniff, sniff
1. Forget to read previous posts about hoses
2. Ask for addresses of guys who brag about their hoses
3. Email wives to see if hose stories are true
1. Go fishing (too windy)
2. Bite my tonails
3. Walk barefoot on the hot pavement
1. Run away from home
2. Ride a bull
3. Kiss a frog