Vents: Random Acts of Venting!

[Lester Sasquatch]

  Hey Lester Sasquatch, I seen that you were over to Hawk's Bar and Grille.  Well the next time you come over my bridge and you do it all of the time.  With you big ass and those damn big feet,  you make the whole bridge shake.

  Well, come down under it and I let you see my Troll Hole.  It's sorta like Batman's cave.  I got a computer, some candles, a hot plate and a Bar.  I don't need a refrigerator to store my dog food I buy on sale a Walmart.  It's cheap and from China.  It's good it's imported.

  You see things have been sorta bad since my wife ran off with my best friend, what ever his name was and took all of my money.  But since the economy has been f**ked up by the Republicans and George W. the city's haven't got the money to pay Troll to guard their bridges.  Some of them are so bad, I wouldn't  want to live under them anyway.

  But I got a gallon of EVERCLEAR 100% alcohol.  I mix it 3/4 Everclear and 1/4 pineapple juice it sure taaaase good.  It sorta of like drinking a World II pineapple grenade  two of them and it blows the top of your head off.

  I want to ask you some questions about "ME" riding over my bridge 60 miles an hour all times of the night and that damn Hawk flying left hand circles like his right wing is stronger that his left wing.  Plus all of the noise, caw, caw, caw and caw, have you ever ate Hawk.     


I

Mr. Troll

My ass isn't that big.

Everclear is only 95% alcohol because that is the highest alcohol content possible by distillation. To get a higher alcohol content the mixture must be run through an evaporator and/or a chemical dryer. Bigfoot knows a lot about moonshine. One of the things we learn in grade school is how to shake a jar full of moonshine and tell how much alcohol is in it by the size of and the time it takes to dissipate the bubbles.

I paid another Bigfoot, Kenny Yeti, to run off with my wife after she found that damned tube of superglue. It has more uses than advertised and it sticks to skin better than anything. Sure her new beau has a superior physique and snow white hair but his brain never fully developed or else he would have held out for more that $1.72. I would have been willing to empty out my retirement account to get rid of Gertrude.

I tend to place the blame on politicians in general regardless of party affiliation. I don't see how you can lump everyone in a particular party together when they are virtually all corrupt? Regardless, I try not to discuss politics ever since Basil Marceaux, who was endorsed by the National Association of Retired Bigfoots and the only 100% HONEST politician, lost the primary for Governor of TN. When the results came in and it was obvious Basil did not get the votes he needed, all the creatures of the forest let out a moan. The last time that happened was the night when Davey Crockett was born.   

I assume if your abode is like the Bat cave you have a Trollmobile? If so, how much leg room does it have? Are all trolls short and fat?

How do I find this Troll Hole? Is it one of those "No shirt, No Shoes, No Service" places?

[The Troll]

  My wife took my Troll mobile.  But a friend gave a like new Ford V10 engine and another friend gave a Banks twin turbo set up.  I'm going to start from there.  Well I'm the black sheep in the family.  I'm fat, but I'm 6foot 3 inches tall, and I got to have a big Troll Hole.  As far as leg and foot room, there will be plenty.  You know any woman that have big feet and big ----------------------- oh forget that.

[kimmi]

Parents who schedule a 5:00 conference and no call/ no show!   

[Locutus]

That sucks.  How inconsiderate!

[The Troll]

Mr. Troll

My ass isn't that big.

Everclear is only 95% alcohol because that is the highest alcohol content possible by distillation. To get a higher alcohol content the mixture must be run through an evaporator and/or a chemical dryer. Bigfoot knows a lot about moonshine. One of the things we learn in grade school is how to shake a jar full of moonshine and tell how much alcohol is in it by the size of and the time it takes to dissipate the bubbles.

I paid another Bigfoot, Kenny Yeti, to run off with my wife after she found that damned tube of superglue. It has more uses than advertised and it sticks to skin better than anything. Sure her new beau has a superior physique and snow white hair but his brain never fully developed or else he would have held out for more that $1.72. I would have been willing to empty out my retirement account to get rid of Gertrude.

I tend to place the blame on politicians in general regardless of party affiliation. I don't see how you can lump everyone in a particular party together when they are virtually all corrupt? Regardless, I try not to discuss politics ever since Basil Marceaux, who was endorsed by the National Association of Retired Bigfoots and the only 100% HONEST politician, lost the primary for Governor of TN. When the results came in and it was obvious Basil did not get the votes he needed, all the creatures of the forest let out a moan. The last time that happened was the night when Davey Crockett was born.   

I assume if your abode is like the Bat cave you have a Trollmobile? If so, how much leg room does it have? Are all trolls short and fat?

How do I find this Troll Hole? Is it one of those "No shirt, No Shoes, No Service" places?

  One of my main Troll Holes is under the bridge at the White River on Broadway in Anderson Ind.  I like because  I like Big Boy Hamburgers.  Right out from the bridge and across the street and there it is.  Hummmm.

[The Troll]

 
  I think everybody know here on the Zone how cop can screw a good thing.  Well, the dumbass did something again.  Raised my blood pressure a few points and wonder how I would have handled it and ever more how Palehorse would have handled it.

  Last night on 'Bait Car" I hope you have watched it.  It were the cops take a car and fix it so thet can shut it off and lock the doors and put it some where for someone to steal it.  It's amazing how theses fools will steal the cars so fast.  It one of the few things I like to see the cops do.

  But last night the cops set this bait car out and go hide and watch for someone to steal it.  Well, the black lady come out of the driveway of the house where the bait car is and gets in it and drives it up about 5 ft and then goes goes to get in a svu and drives off.

  The cops run her down and got her out of her car and have her stand by her car.  She says what you stopping you for.  The cops why did you get into the car for.  She said to move it.  They asked, do you know who's car that is, the lady says no.  The cops ask why did you drive it.  She said it was blocking my driveway and I need to get my kids from school.

  The dumbass cops had blocked her drive and they were still making her wait while they checked her out.  They found out she had called 991 to report the blocked driveway.  As soon as the dumbasses found out who she was they let her go without one  I'm sorry.  God are these cops stupid.

[Lester Sasquatch]

You know Troll, I watch them cops shows myself and have a question. One week the cops are undercover in a car and they stop when someone comes up to the window. The cop sells dope to the person standing outside the car then they arrest the guy buying.

OK, the next week the cops reverse rolls, this time they walk up to a car window, buy drugs and the cops arrest the guy selling.

My question is, how can they arrest someone for doing the same thing they (the cops) are doing?

I liked the one last night where the two women and one man were on the corner looking at the bait car. You could hear them saying it was probably a bait car but did that stop them? Hell no! Those folks didn't have a bit of street smarts. Sometimes I wonder if those shows aren't all set up like Operation Repo, Pawn Stars, and American Pickers are.

[Sandy Eggo]

So the office is discussing ordering pizza for lunch later..why do you have this one person...w/no intention of ordering walking around saying "um um I don't eat that", "I don't like all those veggies" "no I can't eat all those meats". Everyone else is on board w/the special, she can feel free to order something different, but instead tries to get us to change our order. Eventually, she went away.

[The Troll]

So the office is discussing ordering pizza for lunch later..why do you have this one person...w/no intention of ordering walking around saying "um um I don't eat that", "I don't like all those veggies" "no I can't eat all those meats". Everyone else is on board w/the special, she can feel free to order something different, but instead tries to get us to change our order. Eventually, she went away.

  That's easy, say that's what we want, we could order you some bread sticks and just smile, blankely, if you're a blond. 

[Sandy Eggo]

I recently finished "Uncle Tom's Cabin" again and intrigued by the Christian "pro-slavery" opinion throughout the book (remember the sermon justifying slavery as God's wishes) I decided to read an anti-Tom's cabin book "Aunt Phyllis's cabin". Interestingly enough, the take was that slavery was sanctioned by God and it would have been wrong for any Christian to disobey it. God decreed that the descendants of Ham (son of Noah) must be cursed (curse of Canaan), so who were they to disobey him. So, Christians attempted to use the bible to justify their own evil deeds, not much unlike how they attempted to use it to keep women from voting, mixed races or same gender from marrying.

Un-freakin'-believable how gullible and stupid people can be.  Religion of peace my ass. How can there be peace when you have a group of people who use their religious text to justify ignorance and bigotry?

[The Troll]

  I sure was glad to see the bikers out to support the cyclist's that was killed and the one that was injured. 

  But there is one thing I would like to seen done by a outside police agency.  Like the FBI, maybe even the State Police give the cops that took the drunk killer cop to the health clinic, a lie detector test, to see if they knew that the test for alcohol would not be legal in a court of law.  Knowing that maybe they could get their cop buddy out of the charge, drunk driving.  I think they did.  You know damn well they knew this from past experiences.

[The Troll]

  I sure was glad to see the bikers out to support the cyclist's that was killed and the one that was injured. 

  But there is one thing I would like to seen done by a outside police agency.  Like the FBI, maybe even the State Police give the cops that took the drunk killer cop to the health clinic, a lie detector test, to see if they knew that the test for alcohol would not be legal in a court of law.  Knowing that maybe they could get their cop buddy out of the charge, drunk driving.  I think they did.  You know damn well they knew this from past experiences.

  Years ago a friend I worked with came into work and told what he had just seen coming to work.  A police car ran a red light and T-boned a car.  He and the guy in the car with him stopped the car and got out and when up to the cars.  No one was hurt.  But the cop smelled like a whiskey bottle and staggering.  Other cops, two or three cars got there instantally and moved the crowd back.  They put the drunk cop into a cop car and speed him away and another took his place got into the car and turned on the red lights.  We looked in the newspaper the next day and seen nothing about the wreak or arrest.  Hummmmmmmm.

[Palehorse]

I'd really like to thank INDOT for endorsing the plan of some genius planning engineer, to CLOSE down I 74 on Friday evening on Labor day weekend, and not warn anyone until after the last exit before the closure! Because of that ignorant and ludicrous plan I had to sit in a "parking lot" for 2 hours, while only 4-5 miles from my exit. . .which completely wrecked my timeline and plans to visit my sister along the way!

Last weekend of the summer, and a traditionally heavy travel weekend, and you idiots pull a boneheaded plan like that one?! Yeah, really nice. . .

[Sandy Eggo]

Wow! PH. I was whining and griping to myself (like I usually do) and that stopped me right in my tracks. What an idiot! or group of idiots. Are you calling/writing?

[Palehorse]

Wow! PH. I was whining and griping to myself (like I usually do) and that stopped me right in my tracks. What an idiot! or group of idiots. Are you calling/writing?

I did it from my crackberry while sitting there bored out of my skull!!!!