God sucks!

[Palehorse]

Church Trip for Gawd and. . .


A highway crash in northeast Tennessee involving a church bus, a tractor-trailer truck and a SUV has left eight people dead. Officials say the church bus blew a tire, crossed a median and was then struck by the other two vehicles. Fourteen others were injured. The bus was carrying a senior adult group that had been on a church trip to Gatlinburg.

[Locutus]

You know, there sure seem to be a hell of a lot of church buses and vans involved in crashes. 

[Palehorse]

You know, there sure seem to be a hell of a lot of church buses and vans involved in crashes.

Yup. Ol Gawd must be sayin', "Hell, you're in the truck, you might as well come on home!" 

[Henry Hawk]

God doesn't suck.   

That is all I will say.

[Locutus]

God doesn't suck.   

That is all I will say.

Then why does he keep offing his followers in church vans and buses?   

[The Troll]

Then why does he keep offing his followers in church vans and buses?   

  Cause he loves them.         Can you think of a better way to die, mashed up in a bus and big truck wreck.   

[Locutus]

  Cause he loves them.         Can you think of a better way to die, mashed up in a bus and big truck wreck.   

...and flying right into the arms of ole' Jeebus.   

[Locutus]

God sucks and communion sucks too! 

(Reuters) - Catholics in North Dakota were warned to watch for symptoms of hepatitis A after a bishop with the disease served Communion at four churches, putting worshipers at risk, state officials said.

Bishop John Folda of the Catholic Diocese of Fargo got hepatitis from contaminated food while in Italy last month for a conference of newly ordained bishops, Aliceyn Magelky, spokeswoman for the diocese, said on Friday.

Folda served Communion during Mass at three churches in Fargo and one church in Jamestown between September 27 and October 7, according to the North Dakota Department of Health. The Mass in Jamestown was at a convention of priests.

"He feels terrible about it," Magelky said. "He did not know when coming back that he had contracted the virus or he would have refrained from participating in Mass much sooner."

Magelky said Folda is feeling better and has not been infectious since October 16, but is still not on a full work schedule. Priests who attended Folda's Mass in Jamestown were notified directly of the bishop's illness, she said.

Hepatitis A can cause infection of the liver and is found in the feces of infected people, according to the health department. It is most often spread when people with the disease fail to wash their hands thoroughly and then touch other people.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/health/sns-rt-us-usa-bishop-communion-20131025,0,6135211.story

[Locutus]

Here we have Costco apologizing for simply telling the truth. 

Wholesale retailer Costco has apologized for accidentally labeling copies of the Bible as "fiction" at a California store.

A local pastor tweeted a picture of one of the bibles and it quickly drew a stir on social media, KTLA reports.

Costco issued an apology Wednesday, saying the error was a mistake by one of its distributors.

"Costco's distributor mislabeled a small percentage of the Bibles, however we take responsibility and should have caught the mistake. We are correcting this with them for future distribution," the statement said. "In addition, we are immediately relabeling all mislabeled Bibles. We greatly apologized for this error."

[Exterminator]

The Duck Dynasty saga has people thinking about what Christians claim to believe...

The Bible is the infallible word of the Lord. If you are a true Christian, you follow these commands:

Who You Should Kill

Unruly or rebellious child.

"And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die; so shall you put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. Deuteronomy 21:20-21

Those who curse or hit their parents.

"For every one that curse his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him." Leviticus 20:9

"And he that smites his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death." Exodus 21:15

Worshipers of other gods.

"If you brother, the son of your mother, or your son, or your daughter, or the wife of your bosom, or your friend, which is as your own soul, entice you secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which you have not known, you, nor your fathers; Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto you, or far off from you, from the one end of the earth even to the other end of the earth; You shall not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall your eye pity him, neither shall you spare, neither shall you conceal him; But you shall surely kill him; your hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people; And you shall stone him with stones, that he die; because he has sought to thrust you away from the Lord your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage; And all Israel shall hear, and fear, and shall do no more any such wickedness as this is among you." Deuteronomy 13:6-11

Psychics, witches.

"A man also a woman that has a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them." Leviticus 20:27

Deuteronomy 13:6-11 (see above)

"You shall not suffer a witch to live" Exodus 22:18

Those who do not believe in Jesus (parable).

"But those my enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me." Luke 19:27

Those who work on the Sabbath.

"Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you a holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the Lord: whosoever does work therein shall be put to death." Exodus 35:2

"And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the Sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him to Moses and Aaron, and to the congregation. And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. And the Lord said to Moses, The man shall surely be put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. And the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died, as the Lord commanded Moses." Numbers 15:32-36.

Those who are accused by at least two people of wickedness.

"At the mouth of two witnesses, or three witnesses, shall he that is worthy of death be put to death, but at the mouth of one witness he shall not be put to death." Deuteronomy 17:6

The children and babies of enemies.

"Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that has known man by lying with him." Numbers 31:17

"And when the Lord your God has delivered it into your hands, you shall smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword." Deuteronomy 20:13

"Happy shall he be, that takes and dashes thy little ones against the stones." Psalms 137:9

"And you shall eat the flesh of your sons , and the flesh of your daughters you shall eat." Leviticus 26:29

Adulterers.

"And the man that commits adultery with another man's wife, even he that commits adultery with his neighbors wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death." Lev 20:10

Homosexuals.

"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; and their blood shall be upon them." Leviticus 20:13

A woman who is not a virgin when married.

"Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she has wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shall you put evil away from among you." Deuteronomy 22:21

Those who are careless with murderous livestock.

"But if the ox were wont to push with his horn in time past, and it has been testified to his owner, and he has not kept him in, but that he has killed a man or a woman: the ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death." Exodus 21:29

Who You Should Hate

Those who eat crab or shrimp.

"And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you." Lev 11:10

Those who sacrifice an animal to God that has a blemish.

"You shall not sacrifice to the Lord your God any bullock, or sheep, wherein is blemish, or any evil favor: for that is an abomination to the Lord your God." Deuteronomy 17:1

Those who remarry the same person after divorce.

"Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord" Deuteronomy 24:4

Homosexuals.

"You shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination." Leviticus 18:22

Those who are proud.

"Everyone that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord" Proverbs 16:5

A woman who wears pants.

"The woman shall not wear which pertains to a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination to the Lord your God." Deuteronomy 22:5

A man with long hair (Jesus?).

"Does not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair it is a shame to him?" 1 Corinthians 11:14

Those who call others fools

"...But whosoever shall say, You fool, shall be in danger of hell fire." Mat 5:22

Should we still do this stuff?

All Old Testament laws still apply in the New Testament. Matt 5:17-19

You don't pick and choose from the word of God, right? You don't pull out of passages you don't like, but then wholeheartedly accept those you do like?

So either you are a true Christian, and you'll follow those loving commands from God. Or you are doomed to be tortured in hell forever! Oh Glory!

[Locutus]

[The Troll]

  Yes, God is a wonderful, kind, fair minded asshole.     I wonder why he won't replace an eye, arm, leg, cure crippled children.  No matter how many prayers and ass kissisng you people give him, Skippy.     

[Henry Hawk]

Just more proof that many people don't really know what being a follower of Christ REALLY means....but LOVE to criticize.

[Exterminator]

Just more proof that many people don't really know what being a follower of Christ REALLY means....but LOVE to criticize.

That comes straight from the book you claim to follow.

[Henry Hawk]

That comes straight from the book you claim to follow.

so.

You got to read it as it was meant to be read....not just picking verses out here and there and running with it.  You know that as well too.