picture bash

[Monroe]

DF says:
Oh, I guess in order to not just pick on xtains, ALL religous folks are weak minded; take muslims, for instance.  The very glimpse of a woman's bare ankle sends them into fits of rage and uncontrolled public masturbation.  I can't seem to find cartoons of these mental images   
------------------------------
You better not print pictures insulting to Islam or members of the Religion of Peace, misunderstanding their peaceful nature, might hunt you down and kill you.  You have been warned.  Warned mind you, not intimidated into silence, just given information for your own good.

[dan foster]

DF says:
Oh, I guess in order to not just pick on xtains, ALL religous folks are weak minded; take muslims, for instance.  The very glimpse of a woman's bare ankle sends them into fits of rage and uncontrolled public masturbation.  I can't seem to find cartoons of these mental images   
------------------------------
You better not print pictures insulting to Islam or members of the Religion of Peace, misunderstanding their peaceful nature, might hunt you down and kill you.  You have been warned.  Warned mind you, not intimidated into silence, just given information for your own good.

Really?  The cowards aren't on these forums

iF-U-C Moosehameggs, tell him to go pound sand 

[me]

Her 4th Wedding

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color are you looking for?"

The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature is considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.

You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."

[dan foster]

Funny, if she were married to a Republican, he would just be a closeted gay 

[me]

The Dems don't keep it in the closet....

[dan foster]

The Dems don't keep it in the closet....

...but gay none the less  (not that there is anything wrong with that).

[me]

Didn't say there was....just pokin' back attcha.....

[dan foster]

No worries 

[me]

bought a new Lexus 450 and returned it to the dealer the next day
because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the
radio was voice activated.
> 'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio. The Radio replied, 'Ricky or
Willie?'
> Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.
> Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind'
replaced Willie Nelson.
> I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say,
'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, Beatles,' I'd
get one of their awesome songs.
> Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I
swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, 'Ass Holes!'
> Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane
> Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie
Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on
harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on
sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.
> Damn, I LOVE this car.

[dan foster]

bought a new Lexus 450 and returned it to the dealer the next day
because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the
radio was voice activated.
> 'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio. The Radio replied, 'Ricky or
Willie?'
> Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.
> Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind'
replaced Willie Nelson.
> I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say,
'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, Beatles,' I'd
get one of their awesome songs.
> Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I
swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, 'Ass Holes!'
> Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane
> Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie
Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on
harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on
sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.
> Damn, I LOVE this car.

Funny.  Guess what would have played if the driver would have shouted "nazi bastards"?

[Henry Hawk]

bought a new Lexus 450 and returned it to the dealer the next day
because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the
radio was voice activated.
> 'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio. The Radio replied, 'Ricky or
Willie?'
> Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.
> Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind'
replaced Willie Nelson.
> I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say,
'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, Beatles,' I'd
get one of their awesome songs.
> Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I
swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, 'Ass Holes!'
> Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane
> Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie
Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on
harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on
sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.
> Damn, I LOVE this car.

that was funny..........especially the Ted Kennedy on scotch....that was the best..

[Sandy Eggo]

[dan foster]

[me]

 

[dan foster]

McBush, a 2-fer: