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Started by Bratalie, September 22, 2006, 09:35:03 AM

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Anne

#10920
March 24, 2016, 12:49:40 PM
Good for you, Henry. Lots of work but will be worth it. Big projects sure eat into vacation time.😊
"A discontented man will find no easy chair." Ben Franklin

Purplelady1040

#10921
March 24, 2016, 03:32:25 PM
Yesterday, we put my 87 year old father in the nursing home. It is one of the nicest ones in our home town. He was there in August for rehabilitation and did well but in the past month he has gone down hill physically, mentally, he is still sharp as a tack and had a nurse who he taught in school and he told her that. Granted, he hadn't seen this nurse in 50+ years but recognized her immediately. I know some will judge us for putting him in a nursing home but my stepmom and my siblings are not capable of taking care of him nor am I. We know this is his final journey he has on this earth and it was a decision that he made. He also requested no artificial means to sustain his life, no DNR and a living will to honor those wishes. I think how lucky I have been to have had him for 50+ years and all the lessons he has taught me and still continues even during his last days. If I can be half the person he is in life and pass that onto my kids, I will be successful as a person and a parent.

Locutus

#10922
March 24, 2016, 03:42:50 PM
Unfortunately, sometimes a nursing home is the best option out of several bad ones.  Don't beat yourself up too much. 
One of the gravest dangers to the survival of our republic is an ignorant electorate routinely feeding at the trough of propaganda.   -- Locutus

"We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically."  -- Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson

Purplelady1040

#10923
March 24, 2016, 03:57:11 PM
Quote from: Locutus on March 24, 2016, 03:42:50 PM
Unfortunately, sometimes a nursing home is the best option out of several bad ones.  Don't beat yourself up too much.
I haven't but I know some will. This was his decision that he made. He knows the time has come and wants to spare us all having to take care of him.

Anne

#10924
March 24, 2016, 04:00:50 PM
Quote from: Purplelady1040 on March 24, 2016, 03:32:25 PM
Yesterday, we put my 87 year old father in the nursing home. It is one of the nicest ones in our home town. He was there in August for rehabilitation and did well but in the past month he has gone down hill physically, mentally, he is still sharp as a tack and had a nurse who he taught in school and he told her that. Granted, he hadn't seen this nurse in 50+ years but recognized her immediately. I know some will judge us for putting him in a nursing home but my stepmom and my siblings are not capable of taking care of him nor am I. We know this is his final journey he has on this earth and it was a decision that he made. He also requested no artificial means to sustain his life, no DNR and a living will to honor those wishes. I think how lucky I have been to have had him for 50+ years and all the lessons he has taught me and still continues even during his last days. If I can be half the person he is in life and pass that onto my kids, I will be successful as a person and a parent.

Tough thing to have to deal with, but sometimes necessary. I am sure your family will see he gets the best care possible there.
"A discontented man will find no easy chair." Ben Franklin

The Troll

#10925
March 24, 2016, 07:11:10 PM
Quote from: Purplelady1040 on March 24, 2016, 03:32:25 PM
Yesterday, we put my 87 year old father in the nursing home. It is one of the nicest ones in our home town. He was there in August for rehabilitation and did well but in the past month he has gone down hill physically, mentally, he is still sharp as a tack and had a nurse who he taught in school and he told her that. Granted, he hadn't seen this nurse in 50+ years but recognized her immediately. I know some will judge us for putting him in a nursing home but my stepmom and my siblings are not capable of taking care of him nor am I. We know this is his final journey he has on this earth and it was a decision that he made. He also requested no artificial means to sustain his life, no DNR and a living will to honor those wishes. I think how lucky I have been to have had him for 50+ years and all the lessons he has taught me and still continues even during his last days. If I can be half the person he is in life and pass that onto my kids, I will be successful as a person and a parent.

  I wish I could got my dad in a nursing home.  He was living with his step-daughter who was not taking care of him or feeding him well.  I tried and tried to get him to go but he always said, "I won't go, because that's where they send you to die and Judy (step-daughter) said she would take care of me."  One day I went to see him and he was passed out in his chair.  I called my sisters and we took him to the hospital and he died two days later.   :mad: :mad: :mad: :rant:

  I am glad you were able to do it.   :vday: :heart:

Purplelady1040

#10926
March 24, 2016, 07:43:18 PM
Quote from: The Troll on March 24, 2016, 07:11:10 PM
  I wish I could got my dad in a nursing home.  He was living with his step-daughter who was not taking care of him or feeding him well.  I tried and tried to get him to go but he always said, "I won't go, because that's where they send you to die and Judy (step-daughter) said she would take care of me."  One day I went to see him and he was passed out in his chair.  I called my sisters and we took him to the hospital and he died two days later.   :mad: :mad: :mad: :rant:

  I am glad you were able to do it.   :vday: :heart:
Thank you, Troll.
It wasn't an easy decision to make but my stepmom who all of us love dearly almost as much as my late mother can't take care of him.  We took in the factor of that when deciding and even discussed it with her kids as they have been very good to my dad.
I was talking to my stepmom and she finally said that she doesn't want to see him suffer and is ready to let him go. She has loved him for 18 years and before that he and my mom were married for 41.5 years.
It isn't easy to do but it's the best thing for all.

AbbyTC

#10927
March 25, 2016, 02:15:33 PM
Quote from: Purplelady1040 on March 24, 2016, 03:32:25 PM
Yesterday, we put my 87 year old father in the nursing home. It is one of the nicest ones in our home town. He was there in August for rehabilitation and did well but in the past month he has gone down hill physically, mentally, he is still sharp as a tack and had a nurse who he taught in school and he told her that. Granted, he hadn't seen this nurse in 50+ years but recognized her immediately. I know some will judge us for putting him in a nursing home but my stepmom and my siblings are not capable of taking care of him nor am I. We know this is his final journey he has on this earth and it was a decision that he made. He also requested no artificial means to sustain his life, no DNR and a living will to honor those wishes. I think how lucky I have been to have had him for 50+ years and all the lessons he has taught me and still continues even during his last days. If I can be half the person he is in life and pass that onto my kids, I will be successful as a person and a parent.

Don't give a second thought to those who may judge you for what you did.  It sounds like you made the right choice.  Some people like to judge others and yet they have no idea what the that person or family has been through.  I've had so many people judge me and drop me as a friend because of my choice to divorce an abusive man.  They didn't witness the abuse so between what my soon to be ex told them and seeing what they thought was a "normal" relationship, they decided I was wrong with my decision.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.

Purplelady1040

#10928
March 25, 2016, 04:57:24 PM
Quote from: AbbyTC on March 25, 2016, 02:15:33 PM
Don't give a second thought to those who may judge you for what you did.  It sounds like you made the right choice.  Some people like to judge others and yet they have no idea what the that person or family has been through.  I've had so many people judge me and drop me as a friend because of my choice to divorce an abusive man.  They didn't witness the abuse so between what my soon to be ex told them and seeing what they thought was a "normal" relationship, they decided I was wrong with my decision.
Thank you. No woman or even a man should have to live or stay with someone who is abusive. People never see that side of the person.

Palehorse

#10929
March 25, 2016, 06:28:44 PM
Quote from: AbbyTC on March 25, 2016, 02:15:33 PM
Don't give a second thought to those who may judge you for what you did.  It sounds like you made the right choice.  Some people like to judge others and yet they have no idea what the that person or family has been through.  I've had so many people judge me and drop me as a friend because of my choice to divorce an abusive man.  They didn't witness the abuse so between what my soon to be ex told them and seeing what they thought was a "normal" relationship, they decided I was wrong with my decision.

This really chaps my hide. There is absolutely NO reason for any man to abuse a woman; physically or mentally. None. . .

I am sorry you had to endure such a thing, and can only hope that you have / can put it behind you. There are still good people in this world that will treat you with respect and love. . .

May the universe deliver them to your doorstep!
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

AbbyTC

#10930
March 25, 2016, 08:24:41 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on March 25, 2016, 06:28:44 PM
This really chaps my hide. There is absolutely NO reason for any man to abuse a woman; physically or mentally. None. . .

I am sorry you had to endure such a thing, and can only hope that you have / can put it behind you. There are still good people in this world that will treat you with respect and love. . .

May the universe deliver them to your doorstep!

Thank you Palehorse.   It has been a bit hard to recondition my mind and to believe I deserve better, especially since I grew up with abuse, but after two years of being away from him, I do believe it and I KNOW it. It really is a battle to believe something like that after being in a situation that destroys your confidence and self-worth.  I know I still have a little more healing and strengthening, but I have come so far from the person I was two years ago.  I love the new me and I'm ready for the next step and look forward to having someone who cares for me as a person and not as a thought. 
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.

Locutus

#10931
March 25, 2016, 09:53:07 PM
On March, 24th, 1984, John, Clair, Andrew, Brian, and Allison reported for detention.  ;D  Hard to believe it's been 32 years. 
One of the gravest dangers to the survival of our republic is an ignorant electorate routinely feeding at the trough of propaganda.   -- Locutus

"We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically."  -- Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson

Anne

#10932
March 25, 2016, 10:54:52 PM
Quote from: AbbyTC on March 25, 2016, 08:24:41 PM
Thank you Palehorse.   It has been a bit hard to recondition my mind and to believe I deserve better, especially since I grew up with abuse, but after two years of being away from him, I do believe it and I KNOW it. It really is a battle to believe something like that after being in a situation that destroys your confidence and self-worth.  I know I still have a little more healing and strengthening, but I have come so far from the person I was two years ago.  I love the new me and I'm ready for the next step and look forward to having someone who cares for me as a person and not as a thought. 

I'm sorry you had to go through that, Abby. No one should have to endure that. I hope you have a great life and meet your new someone soon.
"A discontented man will find no easy chair." Ben Franklin

libby

#10933
March 26, 2016, 12:22:33 PM
Quote from: AbbyTC on March 25, 2016, 02:15:33 PM
Don't give a second thought to those who may judge you for what you did.  It sounds like you made the right choice.  Some people like to judge others and yet they have no idea what the that person or family has been through.  I've had so many people judge me and drop me as a friend because of my choice to divorce an abusive man.  They didn't witness the abuse so between what my soon to be ex told them and seeing what they thought was a "normal" relationship, they decided I was wrong with my decision.
Abby, I could write a book, but won't -- at least not here, not now. As you're already discovering, you, as a soon-to-be single woman, will be treated differently, by men and women, friend and foe, and judged. It will be harder to fit in with couples socially, even with your own family. Stay away from those who judge or make you feel uncomfortable. It helps to make new friends, at work and socially. The best thing I ever did, when it happened to me, was to respond to former high school classmates when they began talking about reunions. They sought me out -- I reluctantly responded, and it changed my life. I am now in touch with people I've known since grade school. We live all over the country, brought together by the internet. One couple, on finding both their spouses had passed away, also found they both lived in Florida, kept in touch, and before we knew it, they were a couple. Living together when convenient (they both kept their own condos), but not marrying. For years now they've been having a big once a year cook-out for all of us over in Athens, WV, their summer home.




 
All of life is a process of testing and initiation, always preparing for a higher level of consciousness -- and illumination. -- John Horn

AbbyTC

#10934
March 26, 2016, 08:39:23 PM
Quote from: Anne on March 25, 2016, 10:54:52 PM
I'm sorry you had to go through that, Abby. No one should have to endure that. I hope you have a great life and meet your new someone soon.

Thank you Anne. 
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.
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