Vents: Random Acts of Venting!

[Lester Sasquatch]

  Yelling I'm a Narc in a biker bar.    It is a wonder that  your even here to tell us about it.  I really believe you're telling the truth.    But a HR person firing a Bazooka with out instructions.      I don't believe that.   SWOOOOOOOOOOSH!

  You know some of my friend and I were talking about all of the plain dumb, plain stupid and plain just funny things that what went on in a factory.  Sorta like the comic strip the Hoosier Day Shift.

  With your sense of humor and some of our stories about the factories.  I bet you would have a best seller.  Just like one of the guys bought a new Volkswagen while working at Ford.  He was bragging about the gas mileage.  So they stated adding gas to his car each day.  Wow, he was getting over 50 miles to the gallon.  Oh, the crowing he did.  Well, they stopped adding gas, it dropped to around 24 miles a gallon.  Then they started take gas out and the mileage dropped to 10 miles to the gallon.  He took in to the dealer and just raised hell.  They let this go on for at least a month.  Guess what, they told him what they had done and he got pissed off and didn't talk about his VW any more.  Tee hee.

I wrote "...it was though a HR person..." Troll, not that it happened. Your story reminds me of the poor simple Mennonite man, Nelson Wittmer, who bought a car one time and wanted to see what kind of mileage he got. So one night he parked his car by the farm gas pump and let it run till it was out of gas. Then he took a gallon milk jug, filled it with gas, carefully poured it in the tank and took off down the gravel road. Nelson found then drove till he the car ran out of gas and there he was, stranded in the middle of no where because he didn't think to bring a gas can with enough fuel to get home. The sad thing about the story is that Nelson was born with a bum leg and could barely walk. This is a true story.

[Sandy Eggo]

Lester! That was you!?! I'm soooo sorry, I wanted to stop, but I wasn't driving. When I saw you get up and brush yourself off, I thought you were okay.

[Lester Sasquatch]

Lester! That was you!?! I'm soooo sorry, I wanted to stop, but I wasn't driving. When I saw you get up and brush yourself off, I thought you were okay.

No need for an apology Miss Sandy, quite the contrary, I should be the one to thank you for distracting the driver. For you succeeded where the world's most renowned psychologists failed miserably. Now I am just Lester Sasquatch instead of the cast of characters I once thought I was. Although I have to admit, we shared many happy hours together playing euchre together during the long cold winter months even though one of my personalities, Paul Hamilton, was an obnoxious cheat. Paul was very jealous of the rest of us, always plotting to to get Lorraine for himself and pulling mean pranks like urinating in our beers. He once even sued one of us for defamation and, even though the judges kept throwing the suit out, kept appealing until the case was sent to the highest court in the land, the supreme court where they refused to hear the ridiculous complaint. But that well placed hit with that rear view side mirror fixed all of that and now I am my self for the first time in my adult life. Thank You!

[Palehorse]

Ever notice how with some people every single conversation has to devolve into a pissing match? I do not care what the subject is, even the most trivial of topics will be twisted, steered, spun, and pushed into a pissing match!

Dammit! 

[Bo D]

Ever notice how with some people every single conversation has to devolve into a pissing match? I do not care what the subject is, even the most trivial of topics will be twisted, steered, spun, and pushed into a pissing match!

Dammit! 

I work with a guy who does that.

[Sandy Eggo]

So, what the hell are you talking about? Talk, talk, talk, people don't do, do, do anymore. Hold it down, ur givin' me a headache!
j/k

Me too, PH. We got new chairs at work the other day. The old ones have been in our office (it's rumored) since 19-aught-8. Wheels, arm rests and random screws falling off and out constantly and would you believe that people 1st griped b/ they had to walk down the hall to get them and then b/c they liked their old chair better. The week before that the company doesn't care about us, just look at these old chairs.

[Palehorse]

So, what the hell are you talking about? Talk, talk, talk, people don't do, do, do anymore. Hold it down, ur givin' me a headache!

Me too, PH. We got new chairs at work the other day. The old ones have been in our office (it's rumored) since 19-ought-8. Wheels, arm rests and random screws falling off and out constantly and would you believe that people 1st griped b/ they had to walk down the hall to get them and then b/c they liked their old chair better. The week before that the company doesn't care about us, just look at these old chairs.

Man does that ever sound familiar! We had people who had to have the same chair every day, and the off shifts would take their favorite chairs to their own work stations. Result: every shift start it was like the annual migration of the wildebeest herds in Africa!

Then when we put chairs at specific work stations and they were not to be moved, they wailed like spanked 2 year olds.

Now they have NO chairs and they have to stand for their entire shift. I wonder how they like that? 

[Lester Sasquatch]

Ever notice how with some people every single conversation has to devolve into a pissing match? I do not care what the subject is, even the most trivial of topics will be twisted, steered, spun, and pushed into a pissing match!

Dammit! 

I was told a story of a man who complained about everything. One morning he woke up to a world where everything was perfect. The first words out of the man's mouth in his usual angry tone were "Damn it, there is nothing to bitch about!" So you see, even when things are good for some people, they will always find something to complain about. I have a brother like that, we call him "Mr. Doom and Gloom". When January 1st, 2000 came around he was actually disappointed that the world was not thrown in to chaos like he had been preaching. I kid you not.

[The Troll]

I was told a story of a man who complained about everything. One morning he woke up to a world where everything was perfect. The first words out of the man's mouth in his usual angry tone were "Damn it, there is nothing to bitch about!" So you see, even when things are good for some people, they will always find something to complain about. I have a brother like that, we call him "Mr. Doom and Gloom". When January 1st, 2000 came around he was actually disappointed that the world was not thrown in to chaos like he had been preaching. I kid you not.

  That's why I think Heaven would be so boring.  Walking on Golden street owned by someone else.  Never heard of any cars there. Not having to worry where the next meal might come from.  Even tho it might be Manna every day, week, month and years.

    Endless peace, no taxes.  Your first wife and every wife and mother in law you had after, will be waiting for you.   Then one big office meeting hours and hours of sitting at the hem of the No 1's robe.  It sure sounds boring to me. 

[Palehorse]

  That's why I think Heaven would be so boring.  Walking on Golden street owned by someone else.  Never heard of any cars there. Not having to worry where the next meal might come from.  Even tho it might be Manna every day, week, month and years.

    Endless peace, no taxes.  Your first wife and every wife and mother in law you had after, will be waiting for you.   Then one big office meeting hours and hours of sitting at the hem of the No 1's robe.  It sure sounds boring to me. 

Troll:

You should read "Life On The Other Side" by Sylvia Brown. . . It is an eye opener surrounding what is next. . .And the difference between the traditional thought and what she says is amazing. . .

[me]

I know this is off topic but I wanted to mention it since your post brought it to mind.
I used to dream about my dad a lot and he was usually giving me a hard time.  About 12yrs ago I was dreaming about him and suddenly grandma, his mom who passed away when I was 7, appeared at my bedroom door and stood with her hands on her hips and said, "why don't you leave her alone haven't you bothered her enough now?", and I've never dreamed about him since.   

Troll:

You should read "Life On The Other Side" by Sylvia Brown. . . It is an eye opener surrounding what is next. . .And the difference between the traditional thought and what she says is amazing. . .

[Palehorse]

I know this is off topic but I wanted to mention it since your post brought it to mind.
I used to dream about my dad a lot and he was usually giving me a hard time.  About 12yrs ago I was dreaming about him and suddenly grandma, his mom who passed away when I was 7, appeared at my bedroom door and stood with her hands on her hips and said, "why don't you leave her alone haven't you bothered her enough now?", and I've never dreamed about him since.   

Grandma's love is eternal! 

[Palehorse]

Since Halloween is quickly approaching: want to really give yourself a scare? Think about this!


"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin

[Palehorse]

"Man...is a tame or civilized animal; never the less, he requires proper instruction and a fortunate nature, and then of all animals he becomes the most divine and most civilized; but if he be insufficiently or ill- educated he is the most savage of earthly creatures."
-Plato

[me]

Since Halloween is quickly approaching: want to really give yourself a scare? Think about this!


"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin