Vents: Random Acts of Venting!

[me]

I thought about messing with her for a second but I don't have the time. Honestly though, if someone says "no thank you"...sticking your foot and the door and speeding up the speech isn't the way to go.

At that moment, I wished that I were Dan Foster or Locutus, they would have had the perfect thing to day.

[Dexter Morgan]

I thought about messing with her for a second but I don't have the time. Honestly though, if someone says "no thank you"...sticking your foot and the door and speeding up the speech isn't the way to go.

At that moment, I wished that I were Dan Foster or Locutus, they would have had the perfect thing to day.

Just tell  hem you worship Aliens in flying saucers.  I always say.... if you can't convince'em.... confus'em. 

[followsthewolf]

I just offer them a beer.

If they don't leave immediately, I offer them a bomber jay.

Don't have to have it there to give them, just offer it.

They go away.

Fairly quickly.

[Gryphon]

Bible thumpers on my doorstep at 9:30 a.m.! When I'm respectful and polite, they won't take "no thank you" for an answer" <note to self: get a no soliciters sign and a no religious wackjob sign>

It used to just be the Jehovahs Witnesses, but at least twice in the past year Ive had a knock on the door from Baptists. At least one group brought as a gift a two liter of coke and a religious CD which I regifted to my grandmother, but still. If I wanted religion, Id go look for it. Same thing goes for vacuum cleaners and magazine subscriptions.

[me]

I just offer them a beer.

If they don't leave immediately, I offer them a bomber jay.

Don't have to have it there to give them, just offer it.

They go away.

Fairly quickly.

What the heck is a bomber jay?

[followsthewolf]

Unnnnhhhh.......a giant doobie.

[me]

Unnnnhhhh.......a giant doobie.

Oh, ok.....I really need to get out more.....

[Sandy Eggo]

These were baptists. I shut the door, but when I went to leave they had laid a picture of Jesus on the Cross on my doorstep w/information about where their church is, times, etc. I should go gather some other type of religious literature and place it on their doorstep. If they were worth the effort.

[Palehorse]

My yard is a mud pit again! 

[me]

My yard is a mud pit again! 

I think it might be that way for a while too.  did you see what the temp is supposed to be by Wed....

[Dexter Morgan]

There are 2 stray tom cats fighting out under my deck!!!  Sons a bitches are running around impregnating my shecats,and beating the other toms up!!!! Now all the cats are in an uproar,and they're taking it out on the Opossums!!!!  I just saw one of the shecats bitchslap one of the smaller Opossums.  My God it's like a war zone out there. I had to hurry Pugsly back in to the house, before he could get tangled up in the fracas. 

[Sandy Eggo]

I'm sorry , I'm sure it's traumatic , but the "shecats bitchslap one of the smaller Opossums" totally cracked me up. <wiping tears from my eyes>  You have the most vivid way with words!

[bevis]

I just offer them a beer.

If they don't leave immediately, I offer them a bomber jay.

Don't have to have it there to give them, just offer it.

They go away.

Fairly quickly.

i tried that.  can't get rid of them.

[pariann]

Answer the door in the nude.  That will probably do the trick.

[me]

Answer the door in the nude.  That will probably do the trick.

I couldn't deal with all the roaring laughter if I tried that....