Vents: Random Acts of Venting!

[me]

Only two reasons I could think of --

1. enjoyed/enjoys being a victim -- some people actually like being mistreated; it is not a game with them

2. afraid of being in the big, bad world all alone -- too many decisions to make, and fearful of making one

Or threatened more bodily harm if she dared leave.  That was before women's shelters were available.

[followsthewolf]

Or threatened more bodily harm if she dared leave.  That was before women's shelters were available.

There is a whole world in which to escape. In my experience, there is an emotional tie to the captor that holds the victim.

[Palehorse]

I've had the opportunity to obtain some in depth knowledge surrounding domestic violence and its perpetrators / victims, and I can tell you that in the lion's share of cases the victims are blinded by the delusional dream image they maintain and have nurtured surrounding the relationship and their spouse.

When combined with the mental anguish that feeds a low self esteem and image, it is a deadly combination that typically concludes with the ending of a life by human hand; and in far too many cases that is the point in which the authorities first become aware of the problem.

For those of us on the outside the answer appears to be as plain as daylight, but to those blinded by fear, delusion, and an obscured sense of self preservation, it might as well be a needle in a haystack. . .

[followsthewolf]

Agreed.

Intervened in a domestic violence episode. Wife was bleeding profusely from a beating (not the first one) administered by her husband. Husband used a shotgun to try to kill me. While I was taking the shotgun from him, his wife hit me in the head with an ashtray. She refused to swear out a complaint against him.

[Palehorse]

Agreed.

Intervened in a domestic violence episode. Wife was bleeding profusely from a beating (not the first one) administered by her husband. Husband used a shotgun to try to kill me. While I was taking the shotgun from him, his wife hit me in the head with an ashtray. She refused to swear out a complaint against him.

Man does that ever sound familiar, and unfortunately it is all too common for the individual intervening on the abused individuals behalf to become the target. . .

It is one of the most dangerous situations anyone can find themselves within, and part of the reason these situations go unreported most of the time.

[Sandy Eggo]

Agreed and I can't find the words to express how frustrated this entire conversation makes me. I just want to make them listen and really hear, ya know? Of course there's no way to do that. I've tried on an individual basis. They nod, agree, appreciate, then go home and turn the control right back over.

On a brighter note...I pity the fool that tries that crap w/my daughter I think I've sufficently brainwashed her and since I have her a few more years, at least, she should be well prepared for any domineering jerkface that tries to control her

[me]

The bad thing is it's not just women who are the abused there are also men abused by their wives but that doesn't seem to get as much attention for some reason. 

[Mr442]

The bad thing is it's not just women who are the abused there are also men abused by their wives but that doesn't seem to get as much attention for some reason.

Many years ago I had a co-worker with a mean wife.  She would thump on him regularily, and he just put up with it.  On one payday he did not get a check.  When he inquired, he was told his wife have been in and picked it up for him.  He then told the person that he had finaly filed for divorce, and had left her a week or so previous.  Poor guy never did get his money back, but at least he was rid of her.  Oh yes, the company tightened up it's policy of spouses picking up checks.

[Exterminator]

Intervened in a domestic violence episode. Wife was bleeding profusely from a beating (not the first one) administered by her husband. Husband used a shotgun to try to kill me. While I was taking the shotgun from him, his wife hit me in the head with an ashtray. She refused to swear out a complaint against him.

Yep; when I was an MP, it was common knowledge that domestic violence calls were always the most dangerous for exactly that reason.

[me]

Plus the added deal with the possibility that the person getting beat on is considered government property.  Not looked upon too kindly at all. 

Yep; when I was an MP, it was common knowledge that domestic violence calls were always the most dangerous for exactly that reason.

[followsthewolf]

Yep; when I was an MP, it was common knowledge that domestic violence calls were always the most dangerous for exactly that reason.

Even 40 years ago the academy taught the same idea. Never changes.

[Palehorse]

Even 40 years ago the academy taught the same idea. Never changes.

And that's interesting isn't it? In all this time we've never figured out how to reliably defuse these situations. . . I suppose there is no accounting for devotion and human emotion though. . .

[followsthewolf]

emotion v. reason

emotion trumps reason?

[Palehorse]

emotion v. reason

emotion trumps reason?

Almost without fail, even to the trained mind at times.

[pariann]

As a battered wife.....until you live the experience....you can't possibly understand how hard it really is to get away from it.  A whole world to escape to?  There are quite a few graves filled with women who attempted to escape, with no intention of ever returning. 

The last beating I received was 4 days before I loaded up my car and drove away.  The only bright side to it, I had filed the divorce papers the day after the beating, and he knew not to follow me to where my car was headed unless he was ready for a serious ass kicking.