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Vents: Random Acts of Venting!

Started by Palehorse, September 19, 2006, 06:55:07 AM

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Palehorse

#3840
June 26, 2009, 11:43:23 AM

I arrived home yesterday evening, hot, tired, and hungry. After dragging out the hose and watering the flowers I was ready for dinner and a nice relaxing ride in the recliner.

I had no more than settled into the chair when, "ding-dong", off goes the doorbell. So I stroll to the door to find a young man in a tie. Now, I already know he's selling something, so I adopt my very best sarcastic and skeptical attitude and open the door. He launches into this routine telling me about his church, his God, his congregation, and all the work they are doing in the community. (No, I didn't stop him because I figured it was hot and he needed to slow cook awhile). He gets through his routine and then makes the pitch to sell me magazines so he can go to some "camp Jeebus" and "learn the skills to become an upstanding citizen".

The he whips out his bible and is going to read me some of it aloud. That was it. I stopped him. I asked him if he knew the history behind that book he was carrying, and of course I got the whole "word of God" reply. So I began providing him with my perspective surrounding the origin of the book, it's incompleteness, and the fact that it is utilized as a tool to lead him and others like him, around by the short-hairs to do the bidding of others. . .

I then told him I was not going to be buying any magazines from him, or anybody else, since I already subscribe to the magazines I believe are worth reading. I sent him packing, and resumed my recliner ride. . .

I wasn't in the chair longer than 20 minutes or so when "ding-dong", off goes that damned bell again! And what do you suppose the 3 men standing on my porch were schlepping? Yes, more humanoid salvation. . . I opened the door, told them I wasn't buying anything, including the fairy tales contained in that book each of them were carrying, and asked them to kindly vacate my property before I turned my lil'puppy on them. . .

One of them had the audacity to ask what kind of dog I had. . . Pit bull was all they needed to hear before they double-timed it back to the road. . .

Maybe I need to get some red siding, and put a bust of the debbil on the peak of my roof? Think that'll keep them away?  :rolleyes:

R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

me

#3841
June 26, 2009, 12:35:11 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on June 26, 2009, 11:43:23 AM


Maybe I need to get some red siding, and put a bust of the debbil on the peak of my roof? Think that'll keep them away?  :rolleyes:
:no: :no:
Trump 2020

Palehorse

#3842
June 26, 2009, 12:51:57 PM
Razor wire, mines, and rabid animals patrolling the perimeter then?
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

me

#3843
June 26, 2009, 01:13:02 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on June 26, 2009, 12:51:57 PM
Razor wire, mines, and rabid animals patrolling the perimeter then?
:no: :no:
Trump 2020

followsthewolf

#3844
June 26, 2009, 01:14:48 PM
I ask them if they would please donate to my church.

I then explain that we are taking donations to upgrade our sacrifices to Ba'al.

Up 'til now, we have only been able to afford to kill chickens.....and  the occasional goat.

But now, we're going for the big kahuna ---- a BULLOCK!!

All those who donate are welcome to attend the ox roast feast after the services.

Usually, by the time I get to invitation to the feast, they're mumbling something and are headed down the walk and looking for their trail car.
Ignorance and fanaticism are ravenous. They require constant feeding.

Palehorse

#3845
June 26, 2009, 01:20:46 PM
Hummm. . . I may have to try that!
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

Exterminator

#3846
June 26, 2009, 01:23:37 PM
I just go to the door naked.
Arguing with Christians is like playing chess with a pigeon.  No matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

The truth is slow, but relentless. Over time it becomes irresistible.

pariann

#3847
June 26, 2009, 01:26:22 PM
You would.  I suppose you bring the dog along in all his glory too?
Looks like I've come full circle.

Palehorse

#3848
June 26, 2009, 01:29:16 PM
 :rotfl:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

followsthewolf

#3849
June 26, 2009, 01:43:01 PM
Tried the naked thing once.

One guy kept looking at me like I was his dream come true.

Creeped me out. Didn't do that again.


Oh, forgot to tell you...

I usually reach behind my head, grab my shirt collar, and pull it up on my head so just my face shows.

Very effective visual.
Ignorance and fanaticism are ravenous. They require constant feeding.

me

#3850
June 26, 2009, 02:10:12 PM
Trump 2020

kimmi

#3851
June 26, 2009, 02:15:43 PM
The Mormon kids came buy a couple of days ago.   :rolleyes:
Take time to smell the roses.

Palehorse

#3852
June 26, 2009, 02:21:05 PM
Quote from: kimmi on June 26, 2009, 02:15:43 PM
The Mormon kids came buy a couple of days ago.   :rolleyes:

Man. . . They're next in my neighborhood!  :rolleyes:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

pariann

#3853
June 26, 2009, 02:49:32 PM
I actually sit down and talk to them.  Then I tell them what I believe.   They leave feeling the same way towards me that I feel towards them.

Looks like I've come full circle.

Palehorse

#3854
June 26, 2009, 02:51:52 PM
Quote from: pariann on June 26, 2009, 02:49:32 PM
I actually sit down and talk to them.  Then I tell them what I believe.   They leave feeling the same way towards me that I feel towards them.

Sometimes it isn't worth the effort. . .
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville
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