Vents: Random Acts of Venting!

[Dexter Morgan]

I had one of the most horrible emails as a teacher that I can imagine pop up in my inbox this week. A former student of mine was kicked out of middle school for threatening to blow up the school and kill himself. His mother emailed to tell me his brother wouldn't be in class that day because they were going to visit the brother in the psych hospital.

A little backgroud - When this child came into my classroom, he had just been switched from living with dad for two years to living with mom. Dad obviously didn't know how to treat his sensitive child, as this child was bitterly angry all the time and didn't even like it when someone (even me) said postitive things to him. I convinced mom that he needed to be seen by someone and she took him for therapy.

The retarded therapist would openly speak to mom in front of this child. This armed him with lots of "excuses" as to why he couldn't do things. "You can't make me write that paper because you shouldn't be asking me to talk about feelings!" That was the kicker!

Well I also got him in Tae Kwon Do for a while and that was great. He reacted positively to it and he was over weight so it would help with that too. All of a sudden he was not going to therapy or Tae kwon do. Mom ran out of money. She EMAILED me everyday to tell me about the night they had with this child. GET OFF THE DAMN INTERNET AND PAY FOR YOUR KID'S THERAPY!

Right now the best thing for this child would be for him to be sent to some sort of wilderness camp or group home where his mom can't baby him and allow him to make excuses for himself and where he isn't a target to be picked on in public school. I hate it for him as he is a product of piss poor parenting! But it is safer than him being in the middle school where he could hurt himself or others!

Sorry for the rant. I needed to get that out!

I remember that student Kimmi. I think we discussed him at length a while back. I wondered at the time if something like this would happen. Obviously it didn't get better for him, and he spiraled downward. You did what you could. Obviously, his mother doesn't know how to deal with him,and lost control of the situation. I wouldn't lose sleep over it. You tried to get help for him,and obviously the mother was either too stupid, or didn't care enough, to take your advice. She needs to quit e mailing you,and do something to help her son. If he's in a hospital getting treatment, then he is in the best place possible.

[kimmi]

That is right.  We did discuss him.  That is the same child.   

[Sandy Eggo]

I think that would be the most difficult thing about being a teacher.

[Dexter Morgan]

LOL..then they really fucked him up expelling him for venting. Seriously, kids blow off steam constantly and say crazy stuff. Do you know how hard it is to blow up an entire school? At best he would get a few of them, more than likely he would take an interest in chemistry and forget about blowing up the school. When I was a kid, someone was always blowing something up and nobody got excited about it like these pussies do these days. I know the people that set off all kinds of home made bombs and they grew up to be just fine, its kind of a stage for some kids. At least it is in our neck of the woods.

I blame crap like happens with this mentioned kid on Divorce, particularly NO Fault Divorce and the lack of the ability to beat your kid's ass like a drum when they need it.

They have to take threats like that seriously. Remember Columbine?  The kids these days are completely out of control. They live their lives in FantasyLand, and I blame a lot of it on video games. They can't define the line between fantasy, and real life.My parents are divorced, and I never blew anything up or killed anybody. What would be the reasoning point for that excuse? Uhhh... I killed people because my parents got divorced. WTF??? Oh HELL NO!!!  It doesn't wash.    You're right more kids need a good ass whopin, to straighten them out. If people disciplined their children more, we wouldn't have problems like this. That kid's parents are to blame, they should have taught the child, the difference between right and wrong . 

[Sandy Eggo]

I'm sorry, but it's not video games. Not all by themselves.

[Dexter Morgan]

That is right.  We did discuss him.  That is the same child.   

I thought that sounded like the same boy. I remember you had great concern for him. I know you feel bad, but you did what you could. His mother really dropped the ball. Luckily nobody got hurt or killed, and he is getting the help he desperately needs. He was crying out for help,and his voice was heard. People are paying attention to his needs. Hopefully, with help he can have a normal,  and decent life. 

[Dexter Morgan]

I'm sorry, but it's not video games. Not all by themselves.

You're right. A lot of it is the parents fault. It's too bad they all aren't more like you PIYA. You love your children, and you spend time with them, and nurture them. You teach them wrong from right. A lot of parents could care less about any of those things. 

[kimmi]

Expelling his was the most logical thing to do.  He is a constant target by other kids.  He mostly provokes it, but you can't tell someone who is constantly thinking "The world is out to get me!" that he is the reason for all of the picking.  

There was a horrible custody battle.  I had to give statements and that was a first in my 10 year career.  The father was an asshole!  The younger son is athletic, social, funny, and not as heavy as the first.  Dad obviously treats this one completely different than the older child.  When child 1 would come into school on Monday after a visit, he would be a wreck -  emotional, pissy, out of control!  Then the next year when child 2 would come in from said dad visits, I couldn't tell one change at all.  I never could tell if it was a weekend on or off for him!  Something obviously happened to child 1 to cause him to react so terribly to dad visits!  

Now mom is no saint either.  She has coddled this child and almost encouraged this behavior.  I used to get snippy with her and I flat out asked her if she thought I was stupid?  I mean your child might get sick a lot, but when it happens on Mondays and Fridays only and he hasn't been to dad, he is playing you like a violin!  I finally told her to send his butt and if he was THAT sick, I would call her!  Academically, he couldn't afford to miss school!  Miraculously, I never had to call her to come get him on that "oh so sick" mornings!  

[Dexter Morgan]

Expelling his was the most logical thing to do.  He is a constant target by other kids.  He mostly provokes it, but you can't tell someone who is constantly thinking "The world is out to get me!" that he is the reason for all of the picking. 

There was a horrible custody battle.  I had to give statements and that was a first in my 10 year career.  The father was an asshole!  The younger son is athletic, social, funny, and not as heavy as the first.  Dad obviously treats this one completely different than the older child.  When child 1 would come into school on Monday after a visit, he would be a wreck -  emotional, pissy, out of control!  Then the next year when child 2 would come in from said dad visits, I couldn't tell one change at all.  I never could tell if it was a weekend on or off for him!  Something obviously happened to child 1 to cause him to react so terribly to dad visits! 

Now mom is no saint either.  She has coddled this child and almost encouraged this behavior.  I used to get snippy with her and I flat out asked her if she thought I was stupid?  I mean your child might get sick a lot, but when it happens on Mondays and Fridays only and he hasn't been to dad, he is playing you like a violin!  I finally told her to send his butt and if he was THAT sick, I would call her!  Academically, he couldn't afford to miss school!  Miraculously, I never had to call her to come get him on that "oh so sick" mornings! 

It doesn't sound like either parent is worth a hill of beans.  Her lenient behavior added to this. Maybe he was being abused at his Dad's house, and that's where the rage came from. Everybody has a different way of reacting to abuse. I just hope he gets the help he needs. 

[lex]

Yeah, Columbine how could we forget that with the media glorifying it for the next bunch of kids to emulate it? Oh yeah, they tried to blow up the school to but failed epically and just shot a few people. If their propane bombs would have went off, it would have been lights out for everyone.

Those kids needed some parenting and intervention long before that went down. Not to mention, probably some of the people that they shot probably tortured them and pushed them closer to the edge. Everyone blames the kids, well, I blame screwball parents and adults around them on all levels.

About the divorce thing. A stable home with two parents is what every kid should have. Roll models of both sexes and two people to take a partnership in raising a child. Kids can buffalo one parent, but two working together can foil ornery kid's plans and set them right. Sure we have a lot of people that make it with one parent, but we got lots that aren't and frankly it shows in our decaying society.

Now if the kid in question is being picked on that I blame on the school. I am sorry, but adults should have more control over kids than that. I have seen kids get mercilessly picked on and the prick teacher just set and smirk about it. Then of course the teacher wonders why on earth did someone bomb about 2 dozen eggs all over his house and car. This kid needs to beat some of his tormentor's asses, it would make him feel worlds better and help his self esteem. And it would shut down tormentors after a couple of them. Put some of that kung fu to work he was shown. BTW, wrong kind of sport to put a kid in that is being picked on.

Yeah, I have to agree his parents are worthless. First if you can't stick around for the long haul of having a kid and raising it, you shouldn't have them to begin with. Selfish jerks need to work stuff out like the adults they are, like I said, it's too stinking easy to be a self indulging prick and burn your family. I just watched an old classmate burn his faithful wife and 3 sons for some dumb bitch he had the hots for back in High School. It's disgusting and wrong.

Yeah, that kid is probably screwed for life.

[kimmi]

"This kid needs to beat some of his tormentor's asses, it would make him feel worlds better and help his self esteem."

Do you think for one second that I didn't have a talk or two with him about the fact that he was much bigger than some of these asshole kids and that all it would take was for him to stand up to them in the neighborhood? 

BTW - tae kwon do was NOT the wrong sport to put him in because he was not a team player - he was a quitter and would have been bullied by his own team members if he had been involved in a competitive team sport.  He needed something that he could advance in at his own pace.  Too bad he was only in it for 4 or 5 months.

Say what you want about the teachers not handling bullying, but there are only so many hours in my day to teach the unGodly curriculum that our "fearless leader" has set forth to be taught and tested.  I do what I can with what I've got.  I've never had any problems with eggs on my car or house thank you very much!

[lex]

"This kid needs to beat some of his tormentor's asses, it would make him feel worlds better and help his self esteem."

Do you think for one second that I didn't have a talk or two with him about the fact that he was much bigger than some of these asshole kids and that all it would take was for him to stand up to them in the neighborhood? 

BTW - tae kwon do was NOT the wrong sport to put him in because he was not a team player - he was a quitter and would have been bullied by his own team members if he had been involved in a competitive team sport.  He needed something that he could advance in at his own pace.  Too bad he was only in it for 4 or 5 months.

Say what you want about the teachers not handling bullying, but there are only so many hours in my day to teach the unGodly curriculum that our "fearless leader" has set forth to be taught and tested.  I do what I can with what I've got.  I've never had any problems with eggs on my car or house thank you very much!

don't take it personal. I don't imagine you smirk when some kid's getting tortured by classmates do you? That is what I am talking about. Tae Kwan Do is a martial art, something that if you aren't into the zen side of it you can pick up some bad stuff, can be a nasty weapon in the hands of an angry kid. Another thing, its based a lot on high kicks, ( a reason I always scoffed at it) something a fat kid is going to suck at badly. Are you lucky enough to have any Isshin-Ryu Dojos around? Its more functional than TKD in a real situation. For a fat kid it would be magic.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah, Columbine how could we forget that with the media glorifying it for the next bunch of kids to emulate it? Oh yeah, they tried to blow up the school to but failed epically and just shot a few people. If their propane bombs would have went off, it would have been lights out for everyone.

Those kids needed some parenting and intervention long before that went down. Not to mention, probably some of the people that they shot probably tortured them and pushed them closer to the edge. Everyone blames the kids, well, I blame screwball parents and adults around them on all levels.

About the divorce thing. A stable home with two parents is what every kid should have. Roll models of both sexes and two people to take a partnership in raising a child. Kids can buffalo one parent, but two working together can foil ornery kid's plans and set them right. Sure we have a lot of people that make it with one parent, but we got lots that aren't and frankly it shows in our decaying society.

Now if the kid in question is being picked on that I blame on the school. I am sorry, but adults should have more control over kids than that. I have seen kids get mercilessly picked on and the prick teacher just set and smirk about it. Then of course the teacher wonders why on earth did someone bomb about 2 dozen eggs all over his house and car. This kid needs to beat some of his tormentor's asses, it would make him feel worlds better and help his self esteem. And it would shut down tormentors after a couple of them. Put some of that kung fu to work he was shown. BTW, wrong kind of sport to put a kid in that is being picked on.

Yeah, I have to agree his parents are worthless. First if you can't stick around for the long haul of having a kid and raising it, you shouldn't have them to begin with. Selfish jerks need to work stuff out like the adults they are, like I said, it's too stinking easy to be a self indulging prick and burn your family. I just watched an old classmate burn his faithful wife and 3 sons for some dumb bitch he had the hots for back in High School. It's disgusting and wrong.

Yeah, that kid is probably screwed for life.

The parents need to step up, and teach their kids that violence isn't  the best way of dealing with problems in life. I know kids get bullied, but come on... you can't use that as an excuse to hurt, and kill people. I agree whopin' somebody that picks on you may help, but killing them, or blowing their house, or school up is just plain crazy. The teachers can only do so much. 

[kimmi]

TKD is used to promote self worth and discipline.  The instructors that I know work with building up the kids.  It is not so much about the sport itself as it is maturing, controlling feelings and making smart choices.  I have seen it work for several different reasons.

[Dexter Morgan]

don't take it personal. I don't imagine you smirk when some kid's getting tortured by classmates do you? That is what I am talking about. Tae Kwan Do is a martial art, something that if you aren't into the zen side of it you can pick up some bad stuff, can be a nasty weapon in the hands of an angry kid. Another thing, its based a lot on high kicks, ( a reason I always scoffed at it) something a fat kid is going to suck at badly. Are you lucky enough to have any Isshin-Ryu Dojos around? Its more functional than TKD in a real situation. For a fat kid it would be magic.

Kimmi has been trying for months, to get some help for this child. This kids mother must have been in denial. It was his parents responsibility, to get help for him, not Kimmi's. She was fearful he might hurt some of his classmates. She had been in contact with the boy's parents. The school talked to his parents. Ultimately in the end, his parents went wrong somewhere, and fucked up his life. IMO, the blame lies solely on his parents.