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Vents: Random Acts of Venting!

Started by Palehorse, September 19, 2006, 06:55:07 AM

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Sandy Eggo

#1815
December 14, 2007, 04:51:48 PM
PH, that reminds me of this song. I used to hear it on a local radio station in Baltimore. To the tune of the Twelve days of Christmas (The third guy sounds like Archie Bunker):

TWELVE PAINS OF CHRISTMAS
Bob Rivers Comedy Group
Chorus :
The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Is finding a Christmas tree.
.
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Husband (2): Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Inebreated man (3): Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Five months of bills,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up these lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Angry man (7): The Salvation Army,
6: Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez!
2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Loud kid (8): I WANNA FURBY FOR CHRISTMAS!
7: Charities And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, making out these cards,
3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?
2: What we have no extension cords?!?
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Another frustrated man (9): No parking spaces,
8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!
7: Donations!
6: Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Writing out those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
other (10): "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!
7: Get a job, ya bum!!!
6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!
2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
TV Critic (11): Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!
7: Charities!!
6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The twelth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols,
11: Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking?
8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
7: Charities!
6: Gotta make 'em dinner!
C: Five months of bills,
4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
3: Shut up, you!
2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only after the last fish has been caught. Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten. - -Cree Indian Prophecy

"Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambitition" -- anonymous

Palehorse

#1816
December 14, 2007, 04:53:54 PM
 :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

Dexter Morgan

#1817
December 14, 2007, 04:57:50 PM
Quote from: PIYA on December 14, 2007, 04:51:48 PM
PH, that reminds me of this song. I used to hear it on a local radio station in Baltimore. To the tune of the Twelve days of Christmas (The third guy sounds like Archie Bunker):

TWELVE PAINS OF CHRISTMAS
Bob Rivers Comedy Group
Chorus :
The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Is finding a Christmas tree.
.
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Husband (2): Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Inebreated man (3): Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Five months of bills,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up these lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Angry man (7): The Salvation Army,
6: Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez!
2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Loud kid (8): I WANNA FURBY FOR CHRISTMAS!
7: Charities And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, making out these cards,
3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?
2: What we have no extension cords?!?
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Another frustrated man (9): No parking spaces,
8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!
7: Donations!
6: Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Writing out those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
other (10): "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!
7: Get a job, ya bum!!!
6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!
2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
TV Critic (11): Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!
7: Charities!!
6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
.
The twelth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols,
11: Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking?
8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
7: Charities!
6: Gotta make 'em dinner!
C: Five months of bills,
4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
3: Shut up, you!
2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
C: And finding a Christmas tree.


I love the Bob Rivers Comedy Corp. The hangover guy sounds like Archie Bunker to me LOL!!!!!!! Have you ever heard their song "There's something stuck in the chimney"? It's funny too.
All that I am... all that I ever was... is here in your perfect eyes.... they're all I can see

~Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol~

Palehorse

#1818
December 14, 2007, 05:02:03 PM
I love Bunker!

I especially loved it when Edith was going through the change and Archie had to get some pills for her. . . finally in frustration he tell's her "C'mon Edith, change already!"  :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
Earlier  Archie had to share a bed with the meathead, and he goes through the etiquette of bedcover positioning with him, telling him to leave a corner untucked so he "kin fan it" when he flatulates under the covers.  :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

Bo D

#1819
December 14, 2007, 05:18:41 PM
BOB & DOUG'S TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS 
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eight comic books
Seven packs of smokes
Six packs of two-fours
Five golden toques
Four pounds of back bacon
Three french toasts
Two turtlenecks
And a beer in a tree
(Bob & Doug didn't cover days nine through twelve.)
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."  Carl Sagan

pariann

#1820
December 14, 2007, 05:19:46 PM
Quote from: PIYA on December 14, 2007, 08:37:17 AM
Check Craig's list
That would take money. If I had money, I would go to the pawn shop and buy the one they have for $250.
Looks like I've come full circle.

kimmi

#1821
December 14, 2007, 05:28:25 PM
The best part of the 12 things I hate about Christmas is when the kid yells "BUY ME SOMETHING!"  I used to do that to my ex in the mall.  We would both laugh at the looks I would get!  Weird humor I know!
Take time to smell the roses.

Dexter Morgan

#1822
December 14, 2007, 07:57:02 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on December 14, 2007, 05:02:03 PM
I love Bunker!

I especially loved it when Edith was going through the change and Archie had to get some pills for her. . . finally in frustration he tell's her "C'mon Edith, change already!"  :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
Earlier  Archie had to share a bed with the meathead, and he goes through the etiquette of bedcover positioning with him, telling him to leave a corner untucked so he "kin fan it" when he flatulates under the covers.  :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
Yeah, Archie was such an idiot, you couldn't help but like him LOL!!!!  :biggrin: Poor old Edith was the epidome of sainthood.  :wings:   :yes:
All that I am... all that I ever was... is here in your perfect eyes.... they're all I can see

~Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol~

Dexter Morgan

#1823
December 14, 2007, 07:58:23 PM
Quote from: Bo D on December 14, 2007, 05:18:41 PM
BOB & DOUG'S TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS 
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eight comic books
Seven packs of smokes
Six packs of two-fours
Five golden toques
Four pounds of back bacon
Three french toasts
Two turtlenecks
And a beer in a tree
(Bob & Doug didn't cover days nine through twelve.)
I love that one too Bo D.  :yes:
All that I am... all that I ever was... is here in your perfect eyes.... they're all I can see

~Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol~

Dexter Morgan

#1824
December 14, 2007, 07:59:59 PM
Quote from: kimmi on December 14, 2007, 05:28:25 PM
The best part of the 12 things I hate about Christmas is when the kid yells "BUY ME SOMETHING!"  I used to do that to my ex in the mall.  We would both laugh at the looks I would get!  Weird humor I know!
:rotfl: :rotfl:
All that I am... all that I ever was... is here in your perfect eyes.... they're all I can see

~Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol~

Dexter Morgan

#1825
December 14, 2007, 08:02:29 PM
Who the hell is this guy?  :wheel: Why, I think it's old man Potter from it's" A wonderful life."
All that I am... all that I ever was... is here in your perfect eyes.... they're all I can see

~Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol~

Sandy Eggo

#1826
December 14, 2007, 08:05:38 PM
 :grinch:
Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only after the last fish has been caught. Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten. - -Cree Indian Prophecy

"Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambitition" -- anonymous

kimmi

#1827
December 14, 2007, 08:10:05 PM
I had one of the most horrible emails as a teacher that I can imagine pop up in my inbox this week. A former student of mine was kicked out of middle school for threatening to blow up the school and kill himself. His mother emailed to tell me his brother wouldn't be in class that day because they were going to visit the brother in the psych hospital.

A little backgroud - When this child came into my classroom, he had just been switched from living with dad for two years to living with mom. Dad obviously didn't know how to treat his sensitive child, as this child was bitterly angry all the time and didn't even like it when someone (even me) said postitive things to him. I convinced mom that he needed to be seen by someone and she took him for therapy.

The retarded therapist would openly speak to mom in front of this child. This armed him with lots of "excuses" as to why he couldn't do things. "You can't make me write that paper because you shouldn't be asking me to talk about feelings!" That was the kicker!

Well I also got him in Tae Kwon Do for a while and that was great. He reacted positively to it and he was over weight so it would help with that too. All of a sudden he was not going to therapy or Tae kwon do. Mom ran out of money. She EMAILED me everyday to tell me about the night they had with this child. GET OFF THE DAMN INTERNET AND PAY FOR YOUR KID'S THERAPY!

Right now the best thing for this child would be for him to be sent to some sort of wilderness camp or group home where his mom can't baby him and allow him to make excuses for himself and where he isn't a target to be picked on in public school. I hate it for him as he is a product of piss poor parenting! But it is safer than him being in the middle school where he could hurt himself or others!

Sorry for the rant. I needed to get that out!
Take time to smell the roses.

Dexter Morgan

#1828
December 14, 2007, 08:19:01 PM
Quote from: PIYA on December 14, 2007, 08:05:38 PM
:grinch:
Woooohoooo!!!!!! I love that Grinch  :smitten:  :grinch:
All that I am... all that I ever was... is here in your perfect eyes.... they're all I can see

~Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol~

lex

#1829
December 14, 2007, 08:28:13 PM
Quote from: kimmi on December 14, 2007, 08:10:05 PM
I had one of the most horrible emails as a teacher that I can imagine pop up in my inbox this week. A former student of mine was kicked out of middle school for threatening to blow up the school and kill himself. His mother emailed to tell me his brother wouldn't be in class that day because they were going to visit the brother in the psych hospital.

A little backgroud - When this child came into my classroom, he had just been switched from living with dad for two years to living with mom. Dad obviously didn't know how to treat his sensitive child, as this child was bitterly angry all the time and didn't even like it when someone (even me) said postitive things to him. I convinced mom that he needed to be seen by someone and she took him for therapy.

The retarded therapist would openly speak to mom in front of this child. This armed him with lots of "excuses" as to why he couldn't do things. "You can't make me write that paper because you shouldn't be asking me to talk about feelings!" That was the kicker!

Well I also got him in Tae Kwon Do for a while and that was great. He reacted positively to it and he was over weight so it would help with that too. All of a sudden he was not going to therapy or Tae kwon do. Mom ran out of money. She EMAILED me everyday to tell me about the night they had with this child. GET OFF THE DAMN INTERNET AND PAY FOR YOUR KID'S THERAPY!

Right now the best thing for this child would be for him to be sent to some sort of wilderness camp or group home where his mom can't baby him and allow him to make excuses for himself and where he isn't a target to be picked on in public school. I hate it for him as he is a product of piss poor parenting! But it is safer than him being in the middle school where he could hurt himself or others!

Sorry for the rant. I needed to get that out!

LOL..then they really fucked him up expelling him for venting. Seriously, kids blow off steam constantly and say crazy stuff. Do you know how hard it is to blow up an entire school? At best he would get a few of them, more than likely he would take an interest in chemistry and forget about blowing up the school. When I was a kid, someone was always blowing something up and nobody got excited about it like these pussies do these days. I know the people that set off all kinds of home made bombs and they grew up to be just fine, its kind of a stage for some kids. At least it is in our neck of the woods.

I blame crap like happens with this mentioned kid on Divorce, particularly NO Fault Divorce and the lack of the ability to beat your kid's ass like a drum when they need it.
And thus I clothe my naked villainy
With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;
And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.
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