My Youngest Son

[Mr442]

He has colon cancer at age 35.  Spots on liver, and a few tiny spots on his lungs.  Dr. suspects it is genetic, so genetic dna testing is being performed.  If it is, he will receive immunotherapy.  Otherwise he will get standard chemo.  We are circling the wagons, and preparing for battle.

[me]

Sorry to hear that. Will be keeping him in my thoughts and prayers.

[Palehorse]

Thoughts a prayers 442. Miracles do happen. I am praying that several are sent your way.

[Mr442]

Two chemo treatments in, the tumor in the liver has grown slightly, but in the center there is evidence of the tumor dying.  He is bloated in the stomach, and his legs are huge from water retention.  The side effects are worse than the damn cancer.

[Mr442]

Chemo #4 in the books last Tuesday.  Getting them every two weeks.  Today was not a good day, tired and weak.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.  Trying real hard to be positive, but days like today make it tough.

[me]

Praying things are looking better for you and him today.

[Mr442]

As of chemo #5, things were looking better.  His cancer factor had dropped from 700+, to 350.  Still way too high, but at least coming down.  We go Tuesday (yesterday) for #6, but it wasn't to be.  His white cell count was right at 1, and his bilirubin was above 30.  Essentially his liver is failing faster than we can get rid of the cancer.  While he seemed about the same as he had been for a few days, by Tuesday he was struggling.  It was a noticeable difference over just a few days.

Hospice has been called, so here we sit waiting on the inevitable.  His ex brought the boys for a visit.  They are 7 and 4, he told them what the deal was.  They knew he was very sick, but knew the doctor was working on making him better.  Now they know that their dad isn't going to make it.  He didn't want them to be blindsided, so he told them.

This whole deal was like jumping into a 50 lap race, already 10 laps down.  While not impossible to get into the lead, it was improbable.  Had he known something was amiss this time last year, it would have been relatively easy to beat it.  Sadly he didn't have any outward symptoms until it was too late.  Besides, 35 year olds don't have colon cancer, they are too young.  Seems like as of late, the doctors are seeing a lot of people in their mid 30's having problems.

On a good note, Mike has a friend who had been putting off a colonoscopy for some time.  This triggered him to go ahead and get it done.  They found three pre cancerous polyps, and removed them.  He sent Mike a note, thanking him for saving his life.  Our oldest son, age 38, had a colonoscopy last week, and they removed 1 pre cancerous polyp from him as well, likely saving him from a fate similar to his brother.  Mike felt a little better knowing that something good came out of this.

We are definitely gonna miss him, as he is somewhat of a character at times.  Going to the dragstrip will never be the same without him, but I'll give it my best to honor him when I do.  We'll most likely have his boys along so they can see dad's cars race. 

We'll be keeping his Gold Fairlane, and his high school car the 85 Cutlass for the boys.  I will race either one from time to time and keep them exercised as he wishes.  His 75 Ford F-250 highboy truck restoration project will go to his brother Greg to be finished, and I'll  inherit his 96 Ford dualy.  I'll sell my truck, since I won't need two.  Gonna have to put up a building, but we will do what is necessary.

This really sucks, and is in no way what I wanted for him or the boys.  I'd trade places with Mike in a flash if I could.   Parents are not suppose to bury their children.

[Palehorse]

So very very sorry to read this news 442. It is like hitting a brick wall doing 110mph. I know.

You are absolutely right, parents should never have to bury their children; and yet it happens.

You raised a good man, and one you have shared several passions with. And your plans ensure those same passions will have the opportunity to germinate within his children with you teaching them just as you did him. And rest assured that your son will be there as well, watching, smiling, and wishing he could tell you how proud he is of you. And them.

And if you reach a point where you miss him beyond what you can stand, go off by yourself somewhere away from others, and talk to him. Say his name and he will be there. And after the emotions settle down, be still and listen, observe. He will send you a sign that you will recognize. But you can't think about what it will be, or could be. You'll know it when you see or hear it. And you will feel him there.

Long road between to travel though. And lots of soul wrenching pain to deal with. You need help with that reach out man. Please. I'll make time to listen and do whatever I can to help you through it.

In the interim, my thoughts and prayers will be for your son, and your entire family.

[Mr442]

Thank you Palehorse, your words carry wisdom and caring.

This has been the third day he hasn't gotten up, or eaten.  He is shutting down, and it is hell to watch.  His mother and I are wore to the bone, but we continue our vigil.  His brother will be back on Wednesday evening after work.

[Palehorse]

😭

[me]

😭

[Mr442]

Mike passed away today at approximately 12:30 pm.  He went peacefully while we (myself, his mother, and older brother) were attending to him.  It was like he ran out of gas and just coasted to a stop.  Although we take comfort in knowing his struggles are through, he leaves one huge hole in our hearts.  His two sons, age 4 and 7, took it hard as was to be expected, as did the rest of us.  We go tomorrow and make the final arrangements for his funeral service sometime next week. 

The outpouring of love from so many has completely blown us away.  He touched so many in good ways, we had no true idea until now.  We are so proud. 

[Palehorse]

My deepest and most heartfelt condolences go out to all of you. Reach out if you need to brother. Please.

[me]

Prayers and condolences to you and the family.

[Mr442]

https://www.fristfuneralhome.com/obits/obituary.php?id=685584