The best of FTW...(a tribute)

[Henry Hawk]

I went back and read some of the posts that FTW left us.......some are hilarious and some are very witty.
He could have written a book....
my tribute to him....

[Henry Hawk]

Re: Male urination etiquette
« on: September 21, 2006, 04:59:38 PM »
1. If ya shake it more 'n twice, yer playin' with it.

2. No talking at the urinal. Women talk while pi$$ing and crapping. Men don't.

3. If you must talk, say hello at the wash basin. Assuming you wash your hands at all. Maybe you don't pi$$ on your hands, so you don't have to wash. In that case, skip the small talk and get the hell out.

4. No bitching about any smells. Ya didn't go in there to make perfume, fer crissake.

[Henry Hawk]

Nothing ain't worth nothing if it ain't free.


Dying is a state of mind.

I see walking corpses every day.

No spark, no fun, no real life.

Waiting for Godot.

I'm enjoying my time here. When I'm gone, I'm gone.

Let the wind take me away. Dust.

[Henry Hawk]

On quitting smoking...


Careful you don't substitute one addiction for another.

Keep suckin' air when it gets tough.

Believe me, if I could quit, you certainly can.

Quitting is a marathon. Run it one step at a time.

[Henry Hawk]

Next time you're dining solo, imagine the other diners naked. You'll either laugh your butt off or gag on your food.

[Henry Hawk]

Fishing for a compliment is sometimes good for the soul.

[Henry Hawk]

Never bothers me when people have their own views of the universe, supreme beings, life and death, etc.
When they live their lives according to the precepts of their beliefs and become examples of their faith, I admire them greatly.

It is when the evangelists try to save me from myself that I become irritated. Do they think they are the only ones who have contemplated mankind's role in the universe? Some of us have been doing that for a long time.

And keep your religion out of my government. If you need a reason, take a look at religion-controlled governments in the Middle East. A little religion leads to a little more, a little more, and soon the zealots are stoning and beheading people. Want a little closer look? Look at Salem, Mass. and the stoning of witches.

[Henry Hawk]

Religions sometimes get lost among human desires.

[Bo D]

This is great, Hank. Thanks very much for doing this.

Did you know that he was a teacher? There is no more noble profession - except for nurses and police officers.

[Henry Hawk]

 Saw Janis in concert (that'll tell you how old I am). She came out on stage with a bottle of Southern Comfort and said she didn't give a damn what anybody said, she was going to sing until either the bottle gave up or she passed out. She proceed to rip everyone apart emotionally with her songs for about 3 hours . At which time the bottle was empty. She staggered off the stage to a thunderous, screaming standing ovation.

Will never forget that night as long as I live.

[Henry Hawk]

This is great, Hank. Thanks very much for doing this.

Did you know that he was a teacher? There is no more noble profession - except for nurses and police officers.

Yep, I knew it...and the more I read back through his posts.....it becomes more obvious....HE LOVED TO TEACH.

[Henry Hawk]

I love this one..  

Is "bad vice" inherantly redundant?

Is a "good vice" an oxymoron?


Do these questions mean anything at all?

Why do I ask such things?

[Henry Hawk]

All's well if your end's well....I guess.

Trees are highly underrated.

Near beer sucks.

[Henry Hawk]

More to come....

[Henry Hawk]

 If you're an a$$hole drunk, it is not that the alcohol made you that way, it's because that's what you were before you got drunk.