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To what extend should parents (or a parent) be responsible for their children?

Started by sally, March 25, 2011, 10:44:38 AM

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sally

March 25, 2011, 10:44:38 AM
From my perspective the opinion changes drastically depending on age, gender and if the person has children or not. It's getting kind of heated actually. One person's opinion is that someone without children can talk the talk, but can't understand the challenges of being a parent. One person seems to think that all children of this generation are rotten. Another one agrees because corporal punishment anymore is outlawed. We're talking about this at work today and I'm wondering what you all might think.
It just feels right

The Troll

#1
March 25, 2011, 11:57:32 AM
Quote from: sally on March 25, 2011, 10:44:38 AM
From my perspective the opinion changes drastically depending on age, gender and if the person has children or not. It's getting kind of heated actually. One person's opinion is that someone without children can talk the talk, but can't understand the challenges of being a parent. One person seems to think that all children of this generation are rotten. Another one agrees because corporal punishment anymore is outlawed. We're talking about this at work today and I'm wondering what you all might think.

  I  think their are spoiled rotten.  No discipline, no respect of the parents and elders and lazy.  No work ethic.  They are not made to mind, not made to work and let do anything they want.

  What get me is the parents want to be their friends, not their parents or mentors.  These modern parents are getting what they sowed.  There is no need to beat them in submission.  But a well meant slap on the butt and a little paddling won't hurt them.  But you will get their attention that you are serious about what you are saying to them.

Sandy Eggo

#2
March 25, 2011, 12:35:45 PM
While I agree that all parents don't live up to their responsibility as parents, I disagree that children are rotten. I just don't like blanket statements.

To answer the question, I think parents are responsible ALL of the time. I'm responsbile to teach them what they need to know to regaring right and wrong when I'm not with them. Just because my children are elsewhere doesn't mean I'm any less responsible. That's not to say that  at a point, that responsibility shouldn't shift to them. The problem with some adults  is that they don't know how to take responsibility for their actions. My kids are better at that than some adults I know.
Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only after the last fish has been caught. Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten. - -Cree Indian Prophecy

"Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambitition" -- anonymous

Sandy Eggo

#3
March 25, 2011, 12:38:31 PM
Oh and I'm sorry, I can't help myself...it's "extent". ;D
Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only after the last fish has been caught. Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten. - -Cree Indian Prophecy

"Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambitition" -- anonymous

The Troll

#4
March 25, 2011, 05:46:08 PM
  The main problem is, kids don't come with an instruction book.  They are sorta like computers.  Each different and each take a different book.  You can't treat all of the same, because it won't work.  Even computers have to have the right book to get them to work right.

  No, not all kid are rotten.  But the rotten ones we have are causing so many, many problems  What is so bad the ones that are rotten it to late.

  That is why we have to hold these kids parent responsible, that where the money is to repair the damage they do.

Sandy Eggo

#5
March 25, 2011, 06:55:57 PM
Well said! :yes:

The thing is, there are SOOO many resources out there for parents who are struggling to know what to do or try. They just need to understand the importance of active parenting to seek them out. No one is perfect and sometimes the best efforts don't make a difference, but apathy and parenting don't mix. :no:
Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only after the last fish has been caught. Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten. - -Cree Indian Prophecy

"Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambitition" -- anonymous

Anne

#6
March 25, 2011, 07:25:41 PM
I athink parents are responsible for what their children do as long as they are in their custody (I am not talking about when they are at school or at a friends) or are 18 or emancipated. I agree with Troll that some parents today worry more about being a friend than a parent, there is time to be friends after they are grown. I don't think all kids are rotten but it seems a lot of them have rotten parents and never really have a chance.
"A discontented man will find no easy chair." Ben Franklin

Palehorse

#7
March 25, 2011, 08:06:19 PM
When I was a kid, if I screwed up I paid for it with my parents. If I really screwed up, I got the switch or the belt. It taught me that serious screws up bring serious consequences, and provided a reason to develop a review process that required potential consequence be given due consideration.

Our problems surrounding our children/youth today began when the legal system provided them "power", via the child abuse accusation; thereby forcing government to ram its nose into the private lives of parents at the slightest cry of the term.

Yes, child abuse is a very big problem in this country, and it is totally unacceptable. But when I look back upon my own upbringing and realize that in today's society my parents would have been locked up as child abusers, I KNOW there is something drastically wrong today; and the problematic behaviors of today's children / youth are a symptom of it.

Even the schools in my day, used the paddle on your 6 if you stepped out of line! Corporal punishment, if used with discretion, is a vital tool in teaching children in their formative years, to understand that failure to comply with the rules (laws in society) bring about serious consequences. (And I don't mean taking away their PS3, iPod, phone, etc.).

Pain has a direct link to your recall system, and if you fail to use it early and often, that system is lost.
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

The Troll

#8
March 26, 2011, 12:16:19 AM

   When I was young, I was ornery active kid and I got whipped by my mother who had German Baptist ancestors.  Who knew how not to spare the rod.  Most of the time I deserved it. :razz: :kickcan: :kickcan:

  I knew if I got a whipping at school, I would get one hell of a whipping :chair: when I got home.  Guess what?  I never got a whipping at school.  :yes: :biggrin:

Henry Hawk

#9
March 28, 2011, 10:06:06 AM
Quote from: Palehorse on March 25, 2011, 08:06:19 PM
When I was a kid, if I screwed up I paid for it with my parents. If I really screwed up, I got the switch or the belt. It taught me that serious screws up bring serious consequences, and provided a reason to develop a review process that required potential consequence be given due consideration.

Our problems surrounding our children/youth today began when the legal system provided them "power", via the child abuse accusation; thereby forcing government to ram its nose into the private lives of parents at the slightest cry of the term.

Yes, child abuse is a very big problem in this country, and it is totally unacceptable. But when I look back upon my own upbringing and realize that in today's society my parents would have been locked up as child abusers, I KNOW there is something drastically wrong today; and the problematic behaviors of today's children / youth are a symptom of it.

Even the schools in my day, used the paddle on your 6 if you stepped out of line! Corporal punishment, if used with discretion, is a vital tool in teaching children in their formative years, to understand that failure to comply with the rules (laws in society) bring about serious consequences. (And I don't mean taking away their PS3, iPod, phone, etc.).

Pain has a direct link to your recall system, and if you fail to use it early and often, that system is lost.

PH, I don't disagree with ONE word you said....now THAT is a way to start off the week...
"The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left."
Ecclesiastes 10:2 - It all makes sense to me now...


"The future ain't what it used to be."– Yogi Berra

"Square roots are rarely found on any plant." FTW

Palehorse

#10
March 28, 2011, 06:00:14 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on March 28, 2011, 10:06:06 AM
PH, I don't disagree with ONE word you said....now THAT is a way to start off the week...
:smile: 8)
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

sally

#11
April 08, 2011, 12:01:23 PM
This went pretty much the same way our office conversation went. I know that I was spanked when I misbehaved and it really didn't happen that much because I knew that it would. All I needed was "the look" and I knew that I was treading into risky territory. Having said that I don't think that everyone can be expected to respond to the same type of disapline and maybe parents should keep their options open rather than falling back on what they learned growing up themselves.
It just feels right
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