Sick of all the lies!

[Lester Sasquatch]

Yeah, but ya shoulda seen the creatures those scabs were picked offa.

BIIIIIIIG Suckers!!! (shew)

I do not see how I missed reading this post earlier? Is there a way to squeeze them in later? Hmm, we best be careful or he will figure out who we are talking about. Nah, I don't think so.

[The Troll]

  Lester, what did you say you did for a living?  A machinist, tool maker, machine repairman, machine builder.  You sound like a person who mechanically inclined.  A person who doesn't need a computer to do your job and had no need for one.

  Who has worked for the management types who if trying to tighten up a bolt, that you had to tell them that "Righty is tighty and lefty is loosey."  Who thought that you could fix a machine without any parts or tools to do the job.

  Lester you sound like a person who at work, has done so much with so little, that now you can fix anything with nothing.

  It is amazing how many of these management types think that you can't do anything without a computer and wants to rag someone who never had a use for them.   I found that the engineers used them as an excuse to say they didn't order the parts and tools we need.  "Well, I put in the computer and hell, I don't know what happen to the order."  It got so bad at work.  We would make 5 of 6 copies of a parts order we turned so we wouldn't have to make a new one.  On one machine rebuild the repairmen put the same parts order 5 times before they got what they need to do their job. 

[Bo D]

  Lester, what did you say you did for a living?  A machinist, tool maker, machine repairman, machine builder.  You sound like a person who mechanically inclined.  A person who doesn't need a computer to do your job and had no need for one.

  Who has worked for the management types who if trying to tighten up a bolt, that you had to tell them that "Righty is tighty and lefty is loosey."  Who thought that you could fix a machine without any parts or tools to do the job.

  Lester you sound like a person who at work, has done so much with so little, that now you can fix anything with nothing.

  It is amazing how many of these management types think that you can't do anything without a computer and wants to rag someone who never had a use for them.   I found that the engineers used them as an excuse to say they didn't order the parts and tools we need.  "Well, I put in the computer and hell, I don't know what happen to the order."  It got so bad at work.  We would make 5 of 6 copies of a parts order we turned so we wouldn't have to make a new one.  On one machine rebuild the repairmen put the same parts order 5 times before they got what they need to do their job. 

The only thing wrong with computers are the idiots who don't take the time to learn how to use them properly. A computer is nothing more than another tool to help do your job.

GIGO!

[Lester Sasquatch]

  Lester, what did you say you did for a living?  A machinist, tool maker, machine repairman, machine builder.  You sound like a person who mechanically inclined.  A person who doesn't need a computer to do your job and had no need for one.

  Who has worked for the management types who if trying to tighten up a bolt, that you had to tell them that "Righty is tighty and lefty is loosey."  Who thought that you could fix a machine without any parts or tools to do the job.

  Lester you sound like a person who at work, has done so much with so little, that now you can fix anything with nothing.

  It is amazing how many of these management types think that you can't do anything without a computer and wants to rag someone who never had a use for them.   I found that the engineers used them as an excuse to say they didn't order the parts and tools we need.  "Well, I put in the computer and hell, I don't know what happen to the order."  It got so bad at work.  We would make 5 of 6 copies of a parts order we turned so we wouldn't have to make a new one.  On one machine rebuild the repairmen put the same parts order 5 times before they got what they need to do their job. 

Troll, I worked in the machine field for many years rebuilding hydraulic components like pumps and cylinders. But I have never been able to fix anything with nothing. Well I guess maybe a software glitch on my computer might technically fall under that category.

[Lester Sasquatch]

Moonshine Miller has done it again! Despite having only a 6th grade education, Moonshine has been recognized as being one of the world's most innovative weapons designers. You see, Moonshine had the unique ability to think outside of the box and is not hampered by education, physics and such. Recently the UN presented Moonshine with a prestigious award for his nonlethal Bacon Bomb that replaces the metal shrapnel in the device with bacon bits. But Moonshine didn't stop there, he went to his little shop out in his garage and developed the next generation weapon he has dubbed the "biological flame thrower."

In the past, it was extremely dangerous for a soldier to operate the conventional flame thrower due to the tanks holding the flammable liquid and compressed gas used to propel it. Carrying a the old style flame thrower in combat was just like strapping a bomb on the poor soldiers back. Needless to say, a man equipped with one of these weapons had a very short life expectancy. Moonshine pulled out a jug of his "thinking fluid" that he makes himself and sat down to drink a bit of his famous elixir and clear his mind. Before the sun started peeking out above the ridge the next morning Moonshine had come up with a novel new flame thrower that does not use those dangerous tanks. The concept is very simple as all of Moonshines inventions are and uses the human body's natural processes to generate a flammable gas, in this particular instance we are talking about methane, that is stored under pressure in the intestines. The soldier using the biological flame thrower goes under an intense training regime where he learns to control his sphincter, a muscle used as the nozzle on the weapon, using several exercises developed just for this purpose.

The biological flamethrower is effective, and best of all can be carried along with the soldier's normally assigned weapon systems without any added weight load. During the day preceding the planned combat maneuvers, the soldier is fed a meal consisting mainly of vegetables from the legume family with baked beans being the food of choice. This gives the man's body time to breakdown the beans and build up a supply of methane which is compressed and held in the intestines. A small ignition device, made from a disposable lighter, is strapped to the soldier's crotch. When an enemy target is identified and it is determined can be eliminated under the current rules of engagement, the soldier turns his backside towards the enemy. When the enemy observes this move he thinks the soldier is retreating and is lulled into a false sense of security to where he will typically expose himself to the coming blast. The soldier carrying the biological flamethrower leans forward to offset the force of the impending last which is not unlike that of a large rocket engine. He then activates the flame thrower, opening his spinchter channeling the compressed methane directly at the enemy and, at the same time, activates the ignition device with his inner thighs.

The Department of Defense recently tested Moonshine's new weapon where it operated flawlessly in the field. I was able to procure a picture of Moonshine demonstrating his biological flamethrower.

Moonshine Miller and his Biological Flame Thrower

Another benefit of Moonshine's new flame thrower is the cost. The conventional unit currently being use by the US Military costs $9,800 each. Moonshine's device, including the ignition device, costs under $3 for a few cans of baked beans. I don't know about the other folks here but I think that Moonshine Miller's name will go down in history as one of America's brightest. Here is another picture of a soldier in the elite Special Forces bleeding off excess methane after returning from a mission.

Soldier bleeding off pressurized methane after mission

[Palehorse]

There's a marketing opportunity for your Thunderpants right there man! 

[Bo D]

Moonshine Miller is hiding the facts of his education. Back in 1970, he was president of the Blue Flame Society at East Tennessee State University. I met him when my band was playing a concert there and he demonstrated his prowess at the post-concert party. I knew then he had a future and I always wondered whatever happened to him.

Thanks for the update.

[The Troll]

Moonshine Miller has done it again! Despite having only a 6th grade education, Moonshine has been recognized as being one of the world's most innovative weapons designers. You see, Moonshine had the unique ability to think outside of the box and is not hampered by education, physics and such. Recently the UN presented Moonshine with a prestigious award for his nonlethal Bacon Bomb that replaces the metal shrapnel in the device with bacon bits. But Moonshine didn't stop there, he went to his little shop out in his garage and developed the next generation weapon he has dubbed the "biological flame thrower."

In the past, it was extremely dangerous for a soldier to operate the conventional flame thrower due to the tanks holding the flammable liquid and compressed gas used to propel it. Carrying a the old style flame thrower in combat was just like strapping a bomb on the poor soldiers back. Needless to say, a man equipped with one of these weapons had a very short life expectancy. Moonshine pulled out a jug of his "thinking fluid" that he makes himself and sat down to drink a bit of his famous elixir and clear his mind. Before the sun started peeking out above the ridge the next morning Moonshine had come up with a novel new flame thrower that does not use those dangerous tanks. The concept is very simple as all of Moonshines inventions are and uses the human body's natural processes to generate a flammable gas, in this particular instance we are talking about methane, that is stored under pressure in the intestines. The soldier using the biological flame thrower goes under an intense training regime where he learns to control his sphincter, a muscle used as the nozzle on the weapon, using several exercises developed just for this purpose.

The biological flamethrower is effective, and best of all can be carried along with the soldier's normally assigned weapon systems without any added weight load. During the day preceding the planned combat maneuvers, the soldier is fed a meal consisting mainly of vegetables from the legume family with baked beans being the food of choice. This gives the man's body time to breakdown the beans and build up a supply of methane which is compressed and held in the intestines. A small ignition device, made from a disposable lighter, is strapped to the soldier's crotch. When an enemy target is identified and it is determined can be eliminated under the current rules of engagement, the soldier turns his backside towards the enemy. When the enemy observes this move he thinks the soldier is retreating and is lulled into a false sense of security to where he will typically expose himself to the coming blast. The soldier carrying the biological flamethrower leans forward to offset the force of the impending last which is not unlike that of a large rocket engine. He then activates the flame thrower, opening his spinchter channeling the compressed methane directly at the enemy and, at the same time, activates the ignition device with his inner thighs.

The Department of Defense recently tested Moonshine's new weapon where it operated flawlessly in the field. I was able to procure a picture of Moonshine demonstrating his biological flamethrower.

Moonshine Miller and his Biological Flame Thrower

Another benefit of Moonshine's new flame thrower is the cost. The conventional unit currently being use by the US Military costs $9,800 each. Moonshine's device, including the ignition device, costs under $3 for a few cans of baked beans. I don't know about the other folks here but I think that Moonshine Miller's name will go down in history as one of America's brightest. Here is another picture of a soldier in the elite Special Forces bleeding off excess methane after returning from a mission.

Soldier bleeding off pressurized methane after mission

  That is hysterical funny bullshit, Lester!       

[The Troll]

The only thing wrong with computers are the idiots who don't take the time to learn how to use them properly. A computer is nothing more than another tool to help do your job.

GIGO!

  Please explain, in my field of work, what did I need a computer for, let alone buy one at that time.  I got my first computer a little under two years ago.  Now I use it to talk to idiots have said I should have had one years ago, when I really didn't need on.  So go figure.     

[followsthewolf]

If you know his whereabouts, I'd like to contact him.

He'd be the perfect test subject for the legumes I am cultivating.

Would like to see if the %age of methane produced by volume could achieve liftoff for the average subject.

[Bo D]

  Please explain, in my field of work, what did I need a computer for, let alone buy one at that time.  I got my first computer a little under two years ago.  Now I use it to talk to idiots have said I should have had one years ago, when I really didn't need on.  So go figure.     

I think all they had at that time was stone tablets. Even stone tablets required some training. First and foremost, you had to know how to read and write.

Honestly, I firmly believe you get be required to get a license to operate a computer.

[Lester Sasquatch]

Moonshine Miller is hiding the facts of his education. Back in 1970, he was president of the Blue Flame Society at East Tennessee State University. I met him when my band was playing a concert there and he demonstrated his prowess at the post-concert party. I knew then he had a future and I always wondered whatever happened to him.

Thanks for the update.

I think you are talking of another Moonshine Miller possibly. The Moonshine Miller of Lost River township, Martin County, Indiana had never left the State. He took a vacation and drove over to Vincennes once, 40 miles away. That's the furthest Moonshine's ever been away from home. Why the big guys at the Department of Defense couldn't talk Moonshine into demonstrating his new weapons in Virginia. Finally they agreed to try them out at Crane, on their test firing range. Moonshine is pretty famous, he is the inventor of the Moonloon, a device designed for extremely low altitude deployment from fast moving aircraft. Moonshine's test dummy, Duck Wagler, lives in Shoals and makes pretty good money. Seems like Moonshine didn't get a whole lot of applicants last time he posted he needed a test dummy. The position has virtually no requirements other than you can stand and move your arms. Duck is a semi-retired alcoholic, a master of his trade with many awards that he proudly displays. Duck holds the record for total number times being picked up for public intoxication in Martin County and the most in a single day (7 times).

Moonshine Miller's Moonloon with test dummy Duck Wagler

You see, there is a problem with parachutes. The airplane has to have a high enough altitude so the parachute has time to open up. The helicopter is great but it sucks fuel like there is no tomorrow and has a limited range. This is why the Moonloon was so well received by the US military. The Moonloon is a simple device and is really much like a large condom only very thick. The soldier backs his gear inside the Moonloon an steps in the middle. Then the two handlers each grab a side of the top of the Moonloon, lifting it to the neck level of the soldier planning to deploy. The top of the Moonloon is sealed against the wearer's neck and using a shraeder valve integrated in the design, is infalted to between 15 and 30 psi depending on the terrain and drop height. The deployment aircraft, usually a C-130, comes in at extremely low altitude to the insertion point, as they draw near the rear cargo door is opened, seconds before the aircraft is over the target the pilot turns on the green light signaling it is a "GO" and the handlers start pushing the Moonloons out the door. Here is a rare animation of Duck Wagler at a remote secret location in Arizona testing the Moonloon.

Moonloon demonstration by Duck Wagler

With the proper training, the deployed soldier can maintain the Moonloon's elastic energy that Moonshine calls "bounce" and travel extended distances guiding by the wearer. Islamic insurgents call Moonloon deployments the "Bouncing Hounds from the Bowels of Hades" and when they hear the roar of the airplane at low altitude, then hear that frightening "plop.......plop.......plop", many times they hide their weapons and pretend to be peaceful farmers. They are extremely frightened by Moonloons, some even claiming that Moonloons are delivering Djinns, or evil spirits.

[Bo D]

I think you are talking of another Moonshine Miller possibly. The Moonshine Miller of Lost River township, Martin County, Indiana had never left the State.

Well, given the amount of green stuff I inhaled back in those days, it's quite possible that I may be confused about the location, but I definitely remember one "Moonshine Miller" putting on a fireworks show like I had never seen before (or since.) I'm telling you, that demonstration of flaming flatulence made such an impression that, to this day, I have to sneak up on a bong to light it.

[Lester Sasquatch]

If you know his whereabouts, I'd like to contact him.

He'd be the perfect test subject for the legumes I am cultivating.

Would like to see if the %age of methane produced by volume could achieve liftoff for the average subject.

Moonshine says the biggest concern is the control of the sphincter muscle. That is why he came up with exercises just for this muscle group, I don't know how true this is but Moonshine swears that women have better sphincter control than men. That is unless highly trained like Moonshine is. There are a lot of factors including the quality of the generated methane from the legume, the maximum internal pressure of the gas, the size the orifice of the sphincter muscle and the speed at which it can open.

[Lester Sasquatch]

I forget to mention the ignition system. If the gas is ignited immediately upon release, you get a fast hot flame but if you allow a few cubit feet of methane out before ignition, you get more of an explosion. If don't really want to do a lot of damage you would ignite upon release. If you want to tear up some stuff, use ignition delay.