Sick of all the lies!

[LOsborne]

I hope that these pictures will make the readers very cautious when they go spend the night at hotels that may be infested with bedbugs.

Oh my god, Lester! I have to spend the next two-and-a-half weeks (except for weekends) at the Hilton Cincinnati Airport, on company business. Do you have any info on whether or not this place has been red-flagged? Can you find out? And does anyone have a suggestion for alternate lodging if it turns out the Hilton is contaminated? I love my job, but not enough to risk butt mumps.

[Lester Sasquatch]

Oh my god, Lester! I have to spend the next two-and-a-half weeks (except for weekends) at the Hilton Cincinnati Airport, on company business. Do you have any info on whether or not this place has been red-flagged? Can you find out? And does anyone have a suggestion for alternate lodging if it turns out the Hilton is contaminated? I love my job, but not enough to risk butt mumps.

I have some disturbing news for you doll, you couldn't have chosen a worse city for being infested with bed bugs. I kid you not and have included a link for you.

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20100824/NEWS01/8250326/We-re-No-1-uh-in-bedbugs

Two new surveys rank Cincinnati at or near the top for bedbug complaints.

Orkin, based in Atlanta, ranks the Cincinnati region No. 1 for service calls, followed by Columbus, Chicago, Denver and Detroit.

And if that isn't bad enough. They've been reported at the Hilton. I do not know it may be a different hotel but all the same, it is very disturbing news.

http://www.wlwt.com/r/15241527/detail.html

# Exterminators offered some tips to people worried about bedbugs in their hotel room:
# Leave your bags in the hallway until you check things out
# Check sheets and pillows for tiny brown spots -- often a sign of bedbugs
# Check the seams of the mattress, where the bugs like to congregate
Check between the mattress and the headboard

Pay careful attention to guests checking out. If their pants seem a bit tight you might want to sleep in your car. Or if you must, you can sleep in the bathtub in your room. Rumpis Bumpititus aka Butt Mumps are not life threatening but, from all accounts, is detrimental to the victims social life. It has not been proven but several people claim that these blood sucking insects are repelled by blood with an alcohol content of .10 or more. It is rumored that tequila works best but in a pinch Nyquil is a close contender.

[LOsborne]

It has not been proven but several people claim that these blood sucking insects are repelled by blood with an alcohol content of .10 or more. It is rumored that tequila works best but in a pinch Nyquil is a close contender.

Okay, I'll start with that. You know I never travel without a bottle of Patron. But Lester..... I can't sleep in the bathtub for a whole week. I'll wind up crooked! Damn, damn, damn. I don't know how I can get out of this.  Wait -- do you know anyone who is suffering from a virulent intestinal bug who might be willing to share? Betcha I could convince the boss that projectile vomiting and constant diarrhea don't send the proper message of corporate trustworthiness, no matter how stylish my little black suit and business pumps are.

[Lester Sasquatch]

Okay, I'll start with that. You know I never travel without a bottle of Patron. But Lester..... I can't sleep in the bathtub for a whole week. I'll wind up crooked! Damn, damn, damn. I don't know how I can get out of this.  Wait -- do you know anyone who is suffering from a virulent intestinal bug who might be willing to share? Betcha I could convince the boss that projectile vomiting and constant diarrhea don't send the proper message of corporate trustworthiness, no matter how stylish my little black suit and business pumps are.

Not offhand but I read about a guy in the E'ville paper that has genital herpes and was freely passing it on to others. Will that work? I doubt he made bail yet so I can tell you where to find him.

[Palehorse]

Oh my god, Lester! I have to spend the next two-and-a-half weeks (except for weekends) at the Hilton Cincinnati Airport, on company business. Do you have any info on whether or not this place has been red-flagged? Can you find out? And does anyone have a suggestion for alternate lodging if it turns out the Hilton is contaminated? I love my job, but not enough to risk butt mumps.

I strongly recommend the Homewood Suites Chain, and there is one located just north of that location on the eastern side of 275.

Depending upon the commute you'll be making though it could be painful at certain times of day, especially if you are having to go West. But if you can take the eastern side south to your location each day it is a breeze in comparison. ( EXAMPLE: Homewood Suites to Walton KY, just south of "Florence Yall" = 30 minutes most of the day).

Clean, with lots of potential dining options very close to the hotel. And a movie Theatre too. I spent 2 weeks there in 2009 and it was nice. (1-800-CALL-HOME) Full hot breakfast every day included.

They're Hilton too so they'll honor the points. . .

[LOsborne]

Not offhand but I read about a guy in the E'ville paper that has genital herpes and was freely passing it on to others. Will that work?

No.

[LOsborne]

I strongly recommend the Homewood Suites Chain, and there is one located just north of that location on the eastern side of 275.

Depending upon the commute you'll be making though it could be painful at certain times of day, especially if you are having to go West. But if you can take the eastern side south to your location each day it is a breeze in comparison. (Homewood Suites to Walton KY, just south of "Florence Yall" = 30 mintues most of the day).

Clean, with lots of potential dining options very close to the hotel. And a movie Theatre too. I spent 2 weeks there in 2009 and it was nice. (1-800-CALL-HOME) Full hot breakfast every day included.

They're Hilton too so they'll honor the points. . .

I'm very fond of Homewood Suites, myself. But the boss has specified the Hilton. Crap. It is next door to the offices of the people with whom we are dealing. When I protested the lengthy stay, and asked if he was certain he could spare me from corporate headquarters, he said, "I can't spare you that long. But I don't want ONE WORD said in setting up this deal that you don't hear." I can't argue. He writes my check.

What I had in mind was a sybaritic little undercover getaway, very near the Hilton, so I can pretend that's where I'm staying ... and drop in twice a day for messages.

[Palehorse]

I'm very fond of Homewood Suites, myself. But the boss has specified the Hilton. Crap. It is next door to the offices of the people with whom we are dealing. When I protested the lengthy stay, and asked if he was certain he could spare me from corporate headquarters, he said, "I can't spare you that long. But I don't want ONE WORD said in setting up this deal that you don't hear." I can't argue. He writes my check.

What I had in mind was a sybaritic little undercover getaway, very near the Hilton, so I can pretend that's where I'm staying ... and drop in twice a day for messages.

Well then, I guess he can pay your doctor bills, workmans comp claim, and exterminator bills too!  That'll make him wish he let you go to Homewood Suites! 

(Take 3 bottles of Patron with you. You won't want to pay the excise tax on booze for the Cincy Stadium if you run out!)

[Lester Sasquatch]

If you only knew an ELF shaper to take your place.

[LOsborne]

Well then, I guess he can pay your doctor bills, workmans comp claim, and exterminator bills too!  That'll make him wish he let you go to Homewood Suites! 

I do believe I will forward this remark to him immediately. Perhaps he will see reason.

(Take 3 bottles of Patron with you. You won't want to pay the excise tax on booze for the Cincy Stadium if you run out!)

Three? I was planning to take a case.

[LOsborne]

If you only knew an ELF shaper to take your place.

Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Are you sure he isn't one?

[Lester Sasquatch]

Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Are you sure he isn't one?

I am not 100% sure but if he is, he would be in their union, the United Brotherhood of ELF Invaders. You know how hard they are to work with, demanding all their perks and fringes. Last time I checked they were in a contract dispute and were threatening to strike. I guess they are pissed about those scabs from alpha centuri crossing their picket line last year. 

[followsthewolf]

Yeah, but ya shoulda seen the creatures those scabs were picked offa.

BIIIIIIIG Suckers!!! (shew)

[LOsborne]

Last time I checked they were in a contract dispute and were threatening to strike.

Strike during the current intergalactic economic recession? Really dumb. But then, they are reptilians. Hey, maybe we could get him real cheap!

[LOsborne]

Yeah, but ya shoulda seen the creatures those scabs were picked offa.

BIIIIIIIG Suckers!!! (shew)

HAH!!