Still think homosexuality is learned, ergo a sin?

[Locutus]

DAYTONA BEACH -- There's a wiry little 7-year-old in Deltona who can name an impressive number of Major League baseball players, NFL bruisers and NBA stars.

The second-grader also loves reading astronomy books and watching "Jeopardy," and is a political junkie particularly smitten with President Obama.

Maybe it was the burden of lugging around a weighty secret from the age of 3 or 4 that sparked the early maturity.

The child is a girl biologically, but wants nothing to do with anything female.

"He doesn't say 'I want to be a boy'; he says, 'I am a boy,' " explained the youngster's mother, who wants to remain anonymous to protect her child's identity.

After years of battling over hairdos and clothes, puzzling over why the child preferred bugs over Barbie dolls, and snuggling up for heart-to-heart talks to understand what was going on, the mother of four and her husband have concluded their second-youngest child is transgender.

They've been raising him as their son since August.

The words "her," "she," "girl" and "daughter" are words they no longer want anyone using for their bespectacled child, and The News-Journal is honoring their wishes.

The child's 33-year-old mother and 44-year-old father don't think it's just a phase that will pass. They believe being transgender is for keeps, and explains what their child has been trying to tell them.

Transgender is a closeted topic that has only recently started to lose some of its taboo taint. Not everyone agrees it even exists.

Some experts suspect mental or physical problems explain the deviation. Some of those experts even think parents are just indulging bizarre behavior.

Others believe the unshakeable sense of being male or female is hardwired into everyone's brain at birth, and not even body parts that don't match can change that.

The Deltona couple see their 7-year-old as walking, talking proof that some people just don't fit traditional gender roles.

Since kindergarten, the child has been pleading to be their son. By the time he was 5, he was already dreading having periods and getting pregnant.

"I'm very certain he knew early on," his mother said.

They've cut his dark blond hair short. They shop for his clothes in the boy's department. They've enrolled him in Cub Scouts.

His best friend is a boy, and he has a major crush on a little girl. He's happier than they've ever seen him.

SCHOOL STRUGGLES

The couple have accepted who their child is, and they wish some people at the child's Deltona elementary school would, too. They claim one school office worker insists on using "her" in front of other students, although a school spokeswoman said the employee just accidentally slipped a time or two.

They say all school records still list his former feminine name despite their request for a change. Last year, his teacher would cross out the new name he uses on his schoolwork, his mother said.

A few weeks ago, she said a substitute teacher used his former name "in front of the whole class."

The couple cite several examples of children arguing with their son over whether he's a boy or girl. One day back in October after school, they say a group of third-graders waiting outside for parents and bus drivers to pick them up formed a circle around their son and kept insisting he was a girl.

They understand the kids are probably confused since many of them knew their son as a girl in kindergarten and first grade at the same school.

But they have little tolerance for adults' reactions.

"The kids are kids. I look to adults to set the tone," the child's mother said. "That's not OK if you disrespect my child ... How do we expect the kids to change when adults don't? I'm not telling people to accept it, but respect it."

She said the school turned down her offer to have an Arizona woman who runs a non-profit, educational agency focused on transgender issues talk to staff.

She and her husband are working with a local American Civil Liberties Union official in hopes of convincing the Volusia County school system to add gender identity to the district's bullying and harassment policies. The policies already list sexual orientation, but the parents say that has nothing to do with gender identity.

DEFINING TRANSGENDER

Transgender doesn't always equal homosexuality or bisexuality, experts say. They say transgender covers a broad spectrum of gender identity and sexual expression.

Included in that bell curve can be extremely masculine women who like sports, car engines and hunting, and very effeminate men enthralled with ballet, crocheting and cooking who both still desire the opposite sex.

"Transgender is basically someone who feels they are the opposite sex," DeLand psychologist Don Sanz said. "It doesn't have to do with sexual orientation. It's just who they feel they are.

"It could be a man physically who feels female and is attracted to women."

The therapist the Deltona child has been seeing said she can't discuss him. Sanz has never met the child, but he has had other transgender patients, and he's skeptical of anyone drawing conclusions at such a young age.

"I couldn't call a 7-year-old transgender," Sanz said. "I'd be really reluctant to lay a label on a 7-year-old."

A 22-year-old who was an Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University student until last year disagrees with Sanz's conclusion. The former ERAU student is male biologically, but said he's always felt female.

"It's not uncommon to know as early as age 3," said the man, who didn't want to be named because he's afraid it could cost him his job in the Orlando area. "I never felt comfortable with the body I was born with."

When he was little, his older sister and her friends would dress him up in girl's clothes and put makeup on him.

"It made me feel who I was supposed to be," he said. "It's not a psychological condition. We're not sexual deviants."

He calls his male physical characteristics a birth defect. In the next few years he'd like to have a sex-change operation, which he refers to as sexual reassignment surgery. He's already on hormone therapy, and he's been living as a woman the past few months.

"It feels more natural than ever before," he said. "I felt I was cross-dressing as a man."

He wishes he could have made the full transition in grade school.

Within the next few years, the Deltona child's parents will have to decide whether they want to try puberty blockers, drugs that suspend development. Eventually they'll have to decide if they want to pursue hormone therapy and surgery.

"I don't want him to have a period," his mother said.

BATTLE BREWING

For now, they're focused on him being more comfortable in school.

The 7-year-old's principal, teacher and various other school officials who come in contact with him were all informed of the situation last summer, school district spokeswoman Nancy Wait said.

Wait said steps were taken to help the child with his transition, such as allowing him to use a one-person bathroom. Similar adjustments have been made in the past for other transgender children in the district, she said.

But there are no plans to change any harassment or bullying policies, Wait said.

"The school system believes the way it's written is based on federal regulations and state statutes, and it covers all our students," said Wait, the only school official who agreed to comment on the situation.

"We reviewed the policies of districts that have incorporated gender identity into their language, all of which were in their bullying policies," she said. "Upon review, we believe gender identity does not need to be spelled out in Volusia's bullying policy because our policy prohibits the bullying or harassment of any student, regardless of the reason."

She noted kids do face consequences already for bullying, and can even be expelled.

"We have 62,000 students, and a very low number we're aware of are transgender," Wait said. "We're dealing with it on an individual basis. That seems to be working."

Some people who've dealt with transgender issues in schools say that case by case approach invites trouble. Staff and students need specific gender identity education and policies, they argue.

"It leaves a loophole if you don't have a policy," said Stratton Pollitzer, deputy director of Equality Florida, a statewide education and advocacy organization dedicated to eliminating discrimination and harassment based on sexual orientation, race, gender identity and class.

"There needs to be a little bite behind a parent's complaint in school policy," agreed George Griffin, president of the ACLU's Volusia/Flagler chapter.

Griffin complimented Volusia County for being one of 18 school districts in Florida that have sexual orientation written into their policies. But he'd like to see them join the 14 that also include gender identity.

Pollitzer said a lot of the policies were adopted after a state law passed in 2008 required schools to protect gay and transgender kids from bullying.

Without both specific training and policies, teachers won't know what to look for or how to react to harassment, said Pollitzer, who lives in Miami.

"Transgender kids are the most likely to be attacked physically," Pollitzer said.

That's the worst fear of the 7-year-old's parents. They say their son won't tell them when something happens at school, so they feel they have to get involved.

TOUGH DECISIONS

"I'm not trying to pound my chest or change laws," the boy's father said. "I just want my kids to be OK."

Switching schools could give their child a new start, but they don't want to try that.

"I don't want to teach my kids to run," his mother said."And everyone likes him at his school. He has a lot of relationships there."

If private conversations don't achieve the results they're looking for, they'll have to decide if they're willing to lose their cloak of anonymity and go before the School Board. That's an option they're strongly considering.

"My fear is they're just going to push it under the rug," his mother said.

Ultimately, they say they just want their child to be happy.

A few years ago, they thought their son was introverted. Now they think he was probably confused and depressed.

"He never really played girl games," his dad said. "He was always the father in make believe."

Two years ago, he wanted a boy's bathing suit with no top. At restaurants, he always wanted to use the men's restroom.

It took a few years to put the pieces together and accept what was happening.

Doctors did discover a few things out of the ordinary, including very high testosterone levels and a chromosome that detached and reattached upside down. But the child's parents said physicians concluded neither of those things could make a girl want to be a boy.

"Trust me, it was hard for me saying 'him,' " the father said. "I'm as traditional as they come.

"I was hoping it was just a phase. In the back of my head, I thought 'maybe this is just a tomboy.' But he'd be so unhappy as a girl."

They saw the pained look on the child's face when he glimpsed the feminine name he used to go by on his report card. They know he can't stand looking at an old picture in their house taken when he still had long hair.

"Whatever I feel doesn't matter," his mother said. "All that matters is he's happy."

The parents hope eventually everyone can see past their child's gender identity to get a closer look at the things that make him special.

"He has the biggest heart. He's so caring," his mother said.

"He seems more mature than his age," his father said. "He's very empathetic to pain. He's so loving."

They hope the day comes soon when he can blend in with other kids, and the only things they'll want to talk to him about are sports, video games and astronauts.

http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/east-volusia/2010/03/14/i-am-a-boy-insists-child-born-a-girl.html

[Locutus]

Discuss. 

[Henry Hawk]

I believe it is what it is.....Homosexuality is a sin...but so is lying and envying...and on and on and on....there are many sins that we are ALL a victim too..

Is it learned?....not sure what you mean.

the little girl is a little girl no mater WHAT she says or wants....biology tells us very clearly exactly what she is.

do i believe that this child is not loved by God?   NO!  is this the direction you are wanting to go?

i also think cheating on a spouse is just as wrong as homosexuality...it is sexualy immoral as far as Jesus teaches us...

do i think there is a hell for those folks?.................that is not up to me to decide.....I'm concerned with my family and myself as far as trying to do what is right or wrong...

I think it is sad for this little child, and I would probably take the position of the parents and want my child to be happy and I would love her, despite ALL circumstances....no mater what!...

[Locutus]

And Chaz Bono?  F.K.A. Chastity Bono?



Chaz Bono, eight months into his gender reassignment, said he is now living the life he always wanted.

"I feel so much more comfortable that I've ever been," Bono told "Good Morning America" in an exclusive interview. "I've felt male as far back as I can remember."

Bono, born Chastity Bono to singer and actress Cher and the late Sonny Bono, said the entire process of transitioning from female to male will take about four to five years. So far, he's received hormone treatments that have caused his voice to deepen and he's had his breasts removed.

And, to his delight, he's even begun shaving his face.

"This was a very difficult decision to make, but it was the best decision I've ever made," Bono said, promising more changes to come. "I feel great."


Bono -- who reiterated his stance that "gender is between your ears and not between your legs" -- said the biggest hurdle of his decision to begin gender reassignment was the realization that "I'm not going to be able to do this privately as most people can."

"Then it came down to realizing that I have to live my life for myself," he said, "and that life is short and life is precious."

Looking back, Bono said, "it would almost be easy to say, 'Why did I wait so long to do this?'"

And if his public transformation helps others struggling with the same issues, then "I'm happy to do that."

Now that Bono, who lives in California with Jennifer Elia, his girlfriend of four years, is one of the most recognizable faces of the transgender community, his mother Cher has pledged to stand behind her child.

"Chaz is embarking on a difficult journey, but one that I will support," Cher said in a statement issued to Us Magazine in June. "I respect the courage it takes to go through this transition in the glare of public scrutiny, and although I may not understand, I will strive to be understanding. The one thing that will never change is my abiding love for my child."

[The Troll]

 There you go again, Chicken hawk.  Homosexuality is a sin.  Are you going to get out you bible and slay that little girl.  That what your bibles says to do.  Old bird, have you ever work on Sundays, well God had his people stone a man to death for picking up firewood on Sunday.  Has your kids ever talk back to you, God in your bible says to slay them.

   I don't know where you think God builds every human perfectly.  You need  to go over to where I workout at.  The Riverview Hospital rehab center, in Noblesville and see all of those poor retarded children, with their open mouth, slobbering and  blank eye stares and their twisted limbs.

   I was a Shriner, you need to go to a Shriner's crippled children hospital and if you don't have your heart torn out by seeing them and the pain their in, you're a bigger Asshole than I thought you were.

   If you have read any science book and information, you find that they have that homosexuality is a biological probability.  The religious, far right teabaging Christians are the American Taliban.

  The Troll      

[Palehorse]

"American Taliban"! I like that one! 

[Henry Hawk]

There you go again, Chicken hawk.  Homosexuality is a sin.  Are you going to get out you bible and slay that little girl.  That what your bibles says to do.  Old bird, have you ever work on Sundays, well God had his people stone a man to death for picking up firewood on Sunday.  Has your kids ever talk back to you, God in your bible says to slay them.

   I don't know where you think God builds every human perfectly.  You need  to go over to where I workout at.  The Riverview Hospital rehab center, in Noblesville and see all of those poor retarded children, with their open mouth, slobbering and  blank eye stares and their twisted limbs.

   I was a Shriner, you need to go to a Shriner's crippled children hospital and if you don't have your heart torn out by seeing them and the pain their in, you're a bigger Asshole than I thought you were.

   If you have read any science book and information, you find that they have that homosexuality is a biological probability.  The religious, far right teabaging Christians are the American Taliban.

  The Troll   

Troll, you seem to be a typical christian basher, who didn't understand one thing I said...nor do you understand anything about the Bible...I never once said God build humans perfectly.....I actually referred to where we ALL all far from perfect and we are ALL sinners....THAT is what Jesus, (who was real by the way) taught.....what makes you think I have no compassion?...why do you think I need to go to a shriners hospital to understand about the terrible pain and suffering of sweet innocent children?...I'm not sure where you are going or why you think i'm a big asshole?

I mad honest and simple statements about a little girl who want's to be a boy.....I find it sad that she is in that state of mind and I'm sure there are physical things going on that makes her feel that way...and I have complete compassion for her....It sucks that she is made that way....but she IS....

My comments about homosexuality IS a sin as Jesus clearly says.....I am a Christian and I concur with this belief....and you will never hear me get hateful or ever bash a gay....it is just my belief that promoting that kind of lifestyle is wrong, but I don't want no one to be shot or killed because of it...I think cheating on your wife is just as bad....

I was asked about my thoughts on this and I gave them, without any remorse......THAT is the way I feel....so, I guess that makes me comparable to the Taliban?...and you call ME, stupid?...I don't get it.  That is merely a bigoted thing to say if you ask me...I don't really need to explain myself to you, but you would find it pretty hard to find a more compassionate or loving person than most Christians that I know....

[Anne]

Transgender and homosexuality are two different things.

[Henry Hawk]

"American Taliban"! I like that one! 

   it is insulting as far as I am concerned...

[Henry Hawk]

Transgender and homosexuality are two different things.

I agree, and I have made some assumptions here....simply for arguments sake....

so, just for thought, IF this little girl becomes a boy by surgery, and STILL has attraction to boys, does it make him a hetro or a homo?...just a thought..

[The Troll]

Henry, I can agree with you on that,  try to get the proper education and try to explain.  But mother nature has away of correcting these things.  No medical sex change until she become of age.  Harmones do magical things.  I sure glad a thing like this didn't happen to us,  Thank you Henry.  THE TROLL     

[LOsborne]

Why does everything have to be about sex? Why can't we see people as people first, and let their gender be a secondary concern?

My best friend is male. He is paraplegic, and any number of people have told me that he and I are only friends because sex is out of the equation. Why isn't sex always out of the equation? for the record, we were best friends before his accident, and have never seen each other naked. I have neither the time, nor the inclination, to measure the size of primary or secondary sexual endowments of everyone I meet. But I'm interested in reasoning processes all the time. Why isn't everybody? When I rule the world, all you dweebs who can't think above the waist when you first meet me will go up against the wall.

[The Troll]

I had a best friend, who has passed on.  We did every thing together.  We had fast cars, we chased fast women, we had fast motorcycles, we took pilot lessons and got our licence together, I was his best man and I was his at our weddings.  And I heard though the grape line that there was two guys talking around town, since we were together so much we must be gay.  Well, my friend was 6' 4'' went around 250 lbs. a farm boy and I was 6'3' and around 225 played sports.  Well, we had a little talk with these two guys.  For some reason they seem to think  that someone was really lying about them, didn't know a thing and wouldn't say such a thing about us.  You know we never heard another thing about us being gay.  You can be friends and in a nonsexual way,  love him.  Eventho we were unrelated, we were brothers.

The Troll