Pat Robertson 'A Public Relations Nightmare', says God

[Locutus]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - In the wake of his comments about the earthquake in Haiti, televangelist Pat Robertson has become a "public relations nightmare" and a "gynormous embarrassment to me, personally," God said today.

In a rare press conference at the Grand Hyatt in New York City, the usually reclusive Almighty said that He was taking the unusual step of airing His feelings in public because "enough is enough."

"I pray that his TV show would just go away, but of course, when you're me there's no one to pray to," God said, to the laughter of the packed room of reporters.

While God held out no hope that Rev. Robertson's "700 Club" would be cancelled any time soon, He did say, somewhat ruefully, "If Pat Robertson were on NBC he'd be replaced by Jay Leno by now."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/pat-robertson-a-public-re_b_423524.html

[Locutus]

Hilarious!

[me]

 

[followsthewolf]

Sadly, though, his "show" will remain on tv, providing wisdom for the masses.

[me]

Sadly, though, his "show" will remain on tv, providing wisdom for the masses.

And thankfully my mom no longer sends him money. 

[dan foster]

And thankfully my mom no longer sends him money.

The Haitians are 80 percent catholic (which CNN continues to play up, hopefully in an attempt to break loose some treasure hoarded at the vatican), so they really are cursed by the devil 

[Locutus]

Sadly, though, his "show" will remain on tv, providing wisdom for the masses.

Sadly, you're right.  These nutjobs always seem to have a willing audience who saunter up for their daily dose of tripe. 

[Locutus]

[Henry Hawk]

you need a hobby...

[Locutus]

Oh, I certainly don't need a hobby.  I can't claim that fine piece of work as being my own.   

Someone else came up with that.  I just borrowed it.   

[dan foster]

Oh, I certainly don't need a hobby.  I can't claim that fine piece of work as being my own.   

Someone else came up with that.  I just borrowed it.   

Hank doesn't get it, but he and Pat are an embarrassment to the US.

Paris – It took about five nanoseconds for evangelical Pat Robertson's video verdict on the causes of the Haiti earthquake to start making the rounds in France.

Mr. Robertson's theory that Haitian slaves made a "pact with the devil" 200 years ago in order to free themselves from the hated clutches of Napoleon Bonaparte's regime – resulting in a curse that led to the destruction of much of Port-au-Prince and a massive loss of life in Tuesday's earthquake – got the usual chuckles of disbelief among local intelligentsia about American culture.

[me]

Hank doesn't get it, but he and Pat are an embarrassment to the US.

Paris – It took about five nanoseconds for evangelical Pat Robertson's video verdict on the causes of the Haiti earthquake to start making the rounds in France.

Mr. Robertson's theory that Haitian slaves made a "pact with the devil" 200 years ago in order to free themselves from the hated clutches of Napoleon Bonaparte's regime – resulting in a curse that led to the destruction of much of Port-au-Prince and a massive loss of life in Tuesday's earthquake – got the usual chuckles of disbelief among local intelligentsia about American culture.

What is wrong with that man anyway?  It's sad to think that some people hang on his every word. 

[?]

Hank doesn't get it, but he and Pat are an embarrassment to the US.

Paris – It took about five nanoseconds for evangelical Pat Robertson's video verdict on the causes of the Haiti earthquake to start making the rounds in France.

Mr. Robertson's theory that Haitian slaves made a "pact with the devil" 200 years ago in order to free themselves from the hated clutches of Napoleon Bonaparte's regime – resulting in a curse that led to the destruction of much of Port-au-Prince and a massive loss of life in Tuesday's earthquake – got the usual chuckles of disbelief among local intelligentsia about American culture.

It's sad that the religious nuts don't realize how this country is laughed at due the baffling hegemony of the religious right.  Even more sad is that that they're too dumb to care. 

[Henry Hawk]

Hank doesn't get it, but he and Pat are an embarrassment to the US.

and what exactly don't I get douche' bag?

[Sandy Eggo]

The Minneapolis Star-Tribune published a letter from Satan to evangelist Pat Robertson, responding to his comment that Haiti's persistent troubles, including the earthquake, are due to a pact the nation made with Mephistopheles.

Actually, it wasn't Satan who wrote the letter but Lilly Coyle of Minneapolis writing in the persona of the hellish one.

I think she got it down pretty well. What say you?

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.
Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?
If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.
You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS[/quote



http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/4J1DjL/www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2010/01/the_devil_writes_pat_robertson.html?ft=1&f=103943429/r:t