Tiger Woods' mea culpa

[Palehorse]

the rumor going around now is....that Tiger is changing his name to.............


Cheetah!....    (rimshot)

[Palehorse]

Huge difference, PH; Tiger Woods isn't just good at his game; he'll go down in history as being one of the greats.  I don't even know who Greg Norman is...Tiger's name is a household word.

I suppose so. . . The bigger they are, the harder they fall. . .

[Henry Hawk]

okay..now they are starting to pile in.....

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.....

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.....



Hey I'll be here all week....

[Palehorse]

 

okay..now they are starting to pile in.....

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.....

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.....



Hey I'll be here all week....

[Locutus]

Man this story just keeps getting better and better.



LAS VEGAS -- Tiger Woods' list of alleged mistresses grew to eleven Tuesday with the addition of a second porn star.

The latest addition to Tiger Woods' stable of women include adult film actress Veronica Siwik-Daniels, who is professionally known as Joslyn James.

Swedish newspapers are reporting that Woods' wife Elin Nordegren bought a $2 million home dubbed Faglaro Mansion on a small, secluded island reachable by ferry from Stockholm.

TIGER'S RUMORED WOMEN

1.) Rachel Uchitel. The club hostess was the first of the women to be linked to Woods after the National Enquirer reported that she traveled to Australia to be with Woods during a golf tournament there. So far, she has denied the affair.

2.) Jamie Grubbs. The 24-year-old reality show contestant and cocktail waitress claims she carried on a 31-month-long affair with Woods until his crash last month. She offered a Woods voicemail to prove it.

3.) Kalika Moquin. The 27-year-old club manager from Las Vegas is reported to have had a brief sexual relationship with Woods. She would neither confirm nor deny the report.

4.) Cori Rist. The 31-year-old swimsuit model reportedly met Woods at a Manhattan club last year before they began a sexual relationship that led to Woods flying her out to various secret locations for hook-ups, and her introducing the golfer to her 7-year-old son.

5.) Jamie Jungers. The 26-year-old, who sold her story to a British newspaper, is a former employee of Trashy Girls Lingerie. She said she met Woods in Las Vegas.

6.) Mindy Lawton. The 33-year-old pancake house waitress from Orlando claims she was dumped by Woods in 2007. According to the Post, it was her affair with Woods that was caught on camera by the National Enquirer, when he was snapped dropping her off at her trailer park. The threatening news later led to a Woods Men's Fitness cover in exchange for the magazine's silence about the alleged affair, the New York Post reports.

7.) Holly Sampson. The 36-year-old from Los Angeles is a former porn star, who has starred in such films as "OMG, Stop Tickling Me" and "Flying Solo 2." According to the Sun, she has neither confirmed nor denied her affair with Woods.

8.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 8. A former cocktail waitress from Orlando, Fla. does want to reveal her identity yet, according to her attorney Michael O'Quinn. But this she has said: at the time the affair allegedly began, she was 20 years old and met Woods at the Roxy in Orlando, where she was a VIP server.

9.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 9 is reported to be a "sexy" British TV presenter who was single at the time, but is now married.

10.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 10. is reported in a UK paper to be a "sex-addicted cougar."

11.) Joslyn James. The star of many, many porn videos was named on the sports blog Deadspin.com as a Tiger regular, but did not respond to the site's call for comment.

In a related note, the Post reports that the National Enquirer caught Tiger Woods in a steamy extramarital affair two years ago, but killed the story in exchange for the golfer doing a rare cover-shoot for its sister magazine Men's Fitness, according to former Men's Fitness editor-in-chief Neal Boulton.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/ktla-tigers-women,0,1700675.story



The list grows to at least 11 and possibly 12. 

[Palehorse]

 

[Palehorse]

This guy is going to end up with a STD, penniless, and with a herd of offspring. . . 

[Locutus]

Swedish newspapers are reporting that Woods' wife Elin Nordegren bought a $2 million home dubbed Faglaro Mansion on a small, secluded island reachable by ferry from Stockholm.

^^

Sounds like Elin is outta' there soon too. 

[Locutus]

[Palehorse]

Swedish newspapers are reporting that Woods' wife Elin Nordegren bought a $2 million home dubbed Faglaro Mansion on a small, secluded island reachable by ferry from Stockholm.

^^

Sounds like Elin is outta' there soon too.

That's what he get for thinking with the wrong head! 

[Locutus]

Yep!  On several occasions. 

[Palehorse]

As reluctant as I  may be to bump this topic, I thought this article summed the Tiger thing up fairly well:

Imagine for a moment that you are editor in chief of your local newspaper. Where do you put the Tiger stories?

It started out as a Crime Blotter item, a suspicious early morning one-car accident. In the end it netted Woods only a $164 fine and up to four points on his driving record.

It's a Sports story, since Woods is the world's most famous athlete, and a sex-and-celebrity story, so surely it belongs on the People page. It's also a Business story because of the impact Tiger's indiscretions will have on his endorsements, and that his absence will have on television ratings, tournament attendance and the sport itself.

About the only thing missing is a Weather tie-in, but by now there can be no debating that it is the perfect storm of a story. It is a tale both familiar (Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant, Eliot Spitzer) and unique — seldom if ever has the public's perception of a man been so totally at odds with reality.

It cuts across demographics, hitting the celebrity angle for women and the sports angle for men and giving both sides fodder in the ongoing battle of the sexes now being played out anew on an Internet message board near you.

The story resonates for children, who have benefited most from Woods's philanthropy, specifically those who have visited his eponymous learning center in Anaheim, Calif. What are they to make of Woods and his interdisciplinary studies? (A copy of the out-of-print "Get a Grip on Physics" by John Gribbin was found lying behind Tiger's car seat, shards of glass on its cover.)

Is it time to nudge Johnny in the direction of a new hero?

A story like this, of course, ends up on A1, where it has been almost every day since Woods kicked off Black Friday by driving his SUV over a hydrant and into a tree. It has sent New York Post headline writers into borderline-dangerous, 80-point delirium.

But the more you ponder the plots and subplots, the more you begin to realize the saga says more about us than it does about Woods.

Start with the gutter twins of plain-old lurid curiosity, the type that moves tabloids in supermarket checkout lines, and its lowest-common-denominator sidekick, schadenfreude.

Meryl Streep once said in a commencement address, "You have been told that real life is not like college, and you have been correctly informed. Real life is more like high school."

Woods was our Most Likely to Succeed, Biggest Jock and Homecoming King. But his downfall has played out like a John Hughes movie, where the jock turns out to be like the rest of us while the nerds look on with amusement.

We are all, in this film, Anthony Michael Hall.

We are also, on some level, 4 years old again. We love to kick over sandcastles, the more elaborate the better, for the simple reason that it's interesting to watch them fall. (Thus the impetus for season two of "Human Wrecking Balls," Gallagher's timeless watermelon gag and other mondo-destructo pop-culture mush.)

We love to catch a cheat, or a "cheetah," as the Post called Woods, and to bust a myth. Woods was both of these things. His carefully crafted public image has cratered so swiftly and dramatically that his rep for right decision making, trumpeted by the consulting firm Accenture (the first Woods-backer to bail), was immediately exposed as farcical.

What's more, the Tiger affair has changed our concept of happiness itself, recalling every tired but true aphorism along the "Money can't buy happiness" spectrum, starting with, "He who gets everything he wants will soon want nothing he has."

Tiger had millions in the bank, a Swedish-bikini-team wife, a couple of cute kids (2-year-old Sam, 10-month-old Charlie), the adulation of millions, a labradoodle (Yogi) and a border collie (Taz), vacation homes, a yacht — and still it was not enough.

He was, it seems, a lost, lonely man, searching for happiness in all the wrong places. (Or, if you believe men merely seek to dominate other men, and to detonate their biological imperative far and wide, and to conquer the "Over the Top Benedicts" breakfast at Perkins, he was a very happy man. Discuss amongst yourselves.)

Tiger Woods was named athlete of the decade by the Associated Press on Wednesday, and he deserves another award for remaining such an enigma. We still don't know Tiger very well, but it seems likely we will get to know him better soon. Oprah or someone like her will take center stage to broker a second introduction better than the first.

This Tiger will be more man, less comic book hero. He may or may not be married, but he will be flawed and, for the first time, relatable. That's a good thing, after the impenetrable facade built by Tiger and IMG and monetized by so many watch, sports drink and video game makers for the last 13 years.

We like flawed, always have, because even though we have been exposed as rubberneckers and relationship know-it-alls, we are still, more than anything, about forgiveness and second acts. We love renewal, rebirth, a unique fixer-upper opportunity.

Come on back, Tiger. We're dying to meet you.

http://www.golf.com/golf/tours_news/article/0,28136,1948231,00.html

[damfast]

lmao, good one. 

[Palehorse]

http://money.cnn.com/2009/12/31/news/companies/tiger_woods_att/index.htm

AT&T ends partnership with Tiger Woods

[Locutus]