The Conservative Bible Project

[Exterminator]

Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder, a group of conservatives has decided that there is far too much liberal bias in the bible and has started rewriting it: The Conservative Bible Project

Our friends at Salon.com offer some help...

John 8:3-7: The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"

Jesus bent down and picked up a rock. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "OK, we start on the count of three. And if I see any of you throwing like limp-wristed sissies, you're next."

Matthew 19:23-24: Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly I tell you, it is hard for a Socialist to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for Van Jones to enter the kingdom of God."

Matthew 9:10-13: While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"

On hearing this, Jesus said, "Tax collectors? I had no idea, and wouldn't have eaten with them if I had known, for I favor a flat tax."

Matthew 5:3-5: Blessed are the GOP, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn the death of Christmas, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the children of the rich, for -- once Congress finally eliminates the Death Tax -- they will inherit the earth.

Matthew 5:17: Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have come to force trial lawyers to stop filing trivial lawsuits every time someone gets hurt and won't take responsibility for themselves.

Matthew 5:21-22: You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, "You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment." But I tell you that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, so git 'er done.

Luke 22:17-25: After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, "Take this and divide it among you. For I tell you I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes."

And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."

In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you. But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table. The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed. But woe to that man who betrays him!" They began to question among themselves which of them it might be who would do this.

A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. Jesus said to them, "Reagan. Definitely Reagan."

[Exterminator]

I thought for sure that Henry would want to sign up to help them with their project.   

[LOsborne]

Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder, a group of conservatives has decided that there is far too much liberal bias in the bible and has started rewriting it...

Do the translators have to present any credentials to show they are "divinely inspired?" A letter of reference from St. Peter perhaps?

[Henry Hawk]

I thought for sure that Henry would want to sign up to help them with their project.   

naw, I'm not in to that kind of crap........the Bible IS what it IS.  People need to read it themselves, it is, for the most part fairly straight forward with what it means.

[Sandy Eggo]

Yeah, it is what it is, a piece of literature which has been constantly reworded. Why would this be any different?

[Henry Hawk]

Yeah, it is what it is, a piece of literature which has been constantly reworded. Why would this be any different?

that is not true, the dead sea scrolls has shown that the Bible hasn't changed in content down through the ages...there are different translations, but the intent has not changed....

[Exterminator]

that is not true, the dead sea scrolls has shown that the Bible hasn't changed in content down through the ages...

Wrong.  The world's oldest known bible "...is likely to cause some controversy, as it contains no mention of the resurrection of Jesus. Instead the disciples enter Jesus' tomb, find it empty and leave in fear."

there are different translations, but the intent has not changed....

Correct because the intent is to control people.

[Sandy Eggo]

How many versions are there of the bible? For simplicity sake, you can stick with the 8 primary.

[followsthewolf]

Give or take.....................

[Henry Hawk]

How many versions are there of the bible? For simplicity sake, you can stick with the 8 primary.

I really don't know, nor do I care.....ALL of them, have the same message.  People are getting TOO hung up on 'the wording'.....but they ALL have the same bottom line.

[Exterminator]

I really don't know, nor do I care.....ALL of them, have the same message.  People are getting TOO hung up on 'the wording'.....but they ALL have the same bottom line.

Well if one says that Jesus rose from the dead and the other does not, what, exactly, is the bottom line?

[Henry Hawk]

Well if one says that Jesus rose from the dead and the other does not, what, exactly, is the bottom line?

Well, there are documented accounts by Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Peter....claiming that Jesus DID arise.......and even Paul, himself says "Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God.....that the physical body is not important to Christian theology...."

you are taking ONE scripture that is arguable and more than likely taken WAY out of content...and clinging to it.....for arguements sake..........funny, how you discredit scripture but you are NOW ready to grab onto something that fits YOUR ideology.

[Exterminator]

Well, there are documented accounts by Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Peter....claiming that Jesus DID arise....

Documented?  Where?  How?  By whom?  Do you know what documented means?  In the oldest version of this book known to exist, these accounts do not exist; how do you explain the disparity?

you are taking ONE scripture that is arguable and more than likely taken WAY out of content...and clinging to it.....for arguements sake..........funny, how you discredit scripture but you are NOW ready to grab onto something that fits YOUR ideology.

No, I am pointing out to you that you believe in a book that has obviously been changed over time to say something entirely different from what it said originally.  Are you in denial about the book that is now posted online being the oldest known copy of the bible because religious historians don't agree with you if you are.

[Henry Hawk]

Johns account of the Resurrection is right here..from the oldest known Bible....

Matthews account of the Resurrection can be found here

from what I understand is.......it is Marks writtings that has excluded the Resurrection....

sorry, but there is NOT enough evidence to ROCK the Christian world here....as a mater of fact, it only strengthens my faith...

[Exterminator]