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Random Musings of a Crazy Lady

Started by ~Daisy~, October 30, 2006, 09:00:04 PM

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~Daisy~

#15
November 06, 2006, 08:02:11 PM
Its days like today that make me wonder how I'm still hanging on.

I think a pot of coffee was the only thing that kept my body in perpetual motion today, forcing me to stay on track.

Today redefined "boys will be boys." I have, in the short time I've been with them and not at work, broken up umpteen fights over one toy car (which is still never ending), had to teach my 4 year old how to break into the house when I managed to lock myself out without the garage door opener, and had a battle with my 3 year old over a song on the radio that did not even exist. I just can't turn on a song that wasn't on to begin with, especially if I don't have the song somewhere on CD. I do not control the radio stations, no matter how often I wish I did. Oh and let us not forget the butter spray incident. Five minutes in the shower--five minutes!--and while my 10 year old was "in charge," my littlest two managed to find my can of cooking spray I thought was out of reach and spray it all over my ceramic floors and my mirrored closet doors. Yep...it was one of THOSE kinds of days.

A little over a year ago, I'd have not made it past noon with the kind of weight I woke up carrying this morning. Knowing that I'm in the final stretch of Project: Win it all or Lose it all and knowing that I have less than 3 days to resolve the biggest issue of all. And I can do it. And I will do it. I finally let down my guard today and reached out for some financial help. It was excruciating, but I knew that I was on the fast track to Loserville if I didn't.

For one of the first times in my life, I took a big step in the right direction. I chose to face my dilemma head on, rather than let it rule me. In doing that, another problem found a solution. Two pressures off my back that quick. One left, and there is a solution somewhere, I just haven't found it yet.

But there's something else. The reason I know that everything is going to work out just fine is because I have faith. Maybe not your everyday church patron faith, but I know that there is hope out there. My vision isn't clouded with thoughts of "I'm going to fail...I'm going to fail." Its telling me "Hey, you're getting out of this mess!" This somewhat relates to a book I've been reading for a couple of years, that my husband bought me for Christmas (to which I promptly positioned the book on the "I'll read it when I'm that desperate for reading" shelf). I've read a few chapters, and the gist of it all is to believe positively (not just think, believe) that things are going to be prosperous for you and they will. The book goes into depth about even so much as clearing your life of clutter because it helps your concious allow the new positive things to fit. I'm really starting to believe this.

Now...if I could only get through to my kids!
If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
--Timothy Leary

tallulahdahling

#16
November 09, 2006, 07:46:37 AM
I'm a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and I know you are on the right track!
Stay firm and don't be afraid to seek guidance with those you trust.
We're rooting for ya, Daisy!   :thumbsup:
If you don't have anything nice to say then come over here and sit by me!

~Daisy~

#17
November 09, 2006, 08:16:26 AM
:)

And today I'm headed back to the one place on earth that gives me peace and calm within--Ligonier, PA!
If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
--Timothy Leary

Sunny

#18
November 09, 2006, 08:25:51 AM
Weird, I've never really heard of Ligonier...but, I just looked at my hometown paper in PA & look at this Obit:

Coulter
LIGONIER — William G. (Bill) Coulter, 82, formerly of the Jamestown area, passed away peacefully on Wednesday, Nov. 8, 2006, at Bethlan Nursing Home, Ligonier.

Sunny

#19
November 09, 2006, 08:27:29 AM
Daisy! You're going to be just 140 miles from my town! *sniff* We could've met up at a Shopping Outlet halfway in between. :-\

~Daisy~

#20
November 09, 2006, 11:54:22 AM
Ugh I know!! I think I'll be back in May, though!
If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
--Timothy Leary

Sunny

#21
November 09, 2006, 12:39:53 PM
Cool! When it gets closer, do a mapquest from your locale to Grove City Factory Outlets...it may be a tad bit further for you to drive.

Eh, I bet Pittsburgh would be more equidistant...

Scumpadelic

#22
November 13, 2006, 07:19:55 PM
I just read your thing about your thing. Proud of you, Kid.

~Daisy~

#23
November 13, 2006, 08:46:48 PM
Thank you, Scump!
If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
--Timothy Leary

~Daisy~

#24
November 27, 2006, 12:54:38 PM
Ever get tired of the ups and downs life throws at you. Ever wish you could just hang out in the plateaus?

I miss "boring." I would give anything to be bored. Its never going to happen.

Its no secret that I've had drama out the wazoo as far as cash flow goes. I don't know why things seem to be so difficult, when we bring in roughly $5200 a month, not counting my commission checks. One would think it would be smooth sailing in my household, but it never is. My account was so upside down that when Aaron discovered it last week, I was at first sickened, but later much relieved. The weight of carrying that burden alone was finally lifted and things seemed to be much brighter.

Then, once again, he lost his job. Yep, the same job that he was called back to on November 1st. I was afraid it would happen; in the back of my mind I knew it. But when it happened, and for no good reason, that dark cloud came rushing back.

Of course, he wasn't left completely high and dry, or so we were told. Because, once again, it wasn't his "boss's" decision, "Boss" was going to pull some strings to get him a job with the company who they were hauling for. Pie in the sky promises, yet again, because what he was told of course isn't what is happening. Skipping a week of pay is just not an option for us, but that is what we are looking at happening.

The crap that I have to pay in the next couple of weeks is piling up, fast. Each new bill seems to be 50% higher than the last. I think I'm going to start selling my arms and legs, just to make it.

I just wish life would pick another person to play headgames with. After the drama of finding out we're going to lose the house we've been trying to buy, then finding out MAYBE there is a chance, and then this...my mind is swimming in stress. When does it all end, and when do I get to just relax?

Sorry to once again pour out all my troubles in here, but I have to get it out somewhere, right?
If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
--Timothy Leary

tallulahdahling

#25
November 28, 2006, 02:58:29 PM
Oh, girlfriend, you already know about life in the plateaus--time to call a Sherpa and get yer ass down to base camp!
I hate that Aaron lost his current job--again :rolleyes: so now it is time to really sit down and get your priorities together.  It's never too late to get a handle on your finances.  When we wanted to buy our house, I worked 3 jobs to get the earnest money for the down payment.  Almost killed me but damn, I sure did look good in my jeans!   :smile:
Do what you have to do--you got little ones to think about, girl!  You can do it--You are Woman !!  LOL
And you are NOT going to lose the house, do you understand me?   :yes:
If you don't have anything nice to say then come over here and sit by me!

~Daisy~

#26
November 28, 2006, 03:03:34 PM
Thank you, Tallulah. I keep telling myself that, too.

Its not really an issue of money -- well, other than needing $17,000 or better credit scores (me) or more lines of credits on a fairly weak score (Aaron). Even with as much crap as we pay for, our debt to income is roughly 20%. I don't see how, but that's what our broker/Aaron's buddy was telling us. Wow. Okay. So one of the solutions that Matt (broker buddy) gave Aaron is to go buy a car. Now. Buy some used car in the 7-8,000 range to have that line of credit showing. We have no credit cards, one small personal loan, and that's it. He doesn't have enough revolving credit, and I guess its easier to buy a car than a house, and if he takes out a small loan to make a downpayment on a preowned Honda or something decent, that'd kill both birds with one stone.

So...we'll see what happens. I think he and I are both certifiable. He loses his job, wont start the new one till Monday, we are ready to lose our house and have until March 31 to pull it together, so we are going to buy another car? Seems nuts, doesn't it?
If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
--Timothy Leary

tallulahdahling

#27
November 28, 2006, 03:11:57 PM
Absolutely nuts--please go to DaveRamsey.com--pleeze!  You don't need any more debt--time to figure out how to get outta debt and you can do it!  Take a deep breath and really think!  You're a smart girl--(and a skinny one, too!)  don't make the wrong decisions, ok?  New cars are bad, ok?  (Channeling South Park)
If you don't have anything nice to say then come over here and sit by me!

~Daisy~

#28
November 28, 2006, 03:14:44 PM
But according the banks, we're not in ENOUGH debt...


We had converted to a cash-only system for a long time. I loved it. Other than student loans and some old medical bills that I kinda sorta neglected.....um....we had no debt. If we do this, we'll pay it all off before summer. Somehow. Money isn't too much of an object, as long as he keeps working and I don't fuck up and have to cover my ass...lol...but I don't think $17,000 is going to come easy. I could probably have put together $10k by 3/31 but

Oh I don't know. I'm rambling now!
If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
--Timothy Leary

tallulahdahling

#29
November 30, 2006, 12:44:10 PM
Banks need you to stay in debt--how do you think they make their money? 
Let's work on getting hubby back to work and getting through the holidays--and YOU not losing your mind!   :smile:
If you don't have anything nice to say then come over here and sit by me!
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