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before you have children....

Started by awol, October 02, 2009, 10:10:08 AM

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Exterminator

#15
October 02, 2009, 01:24:56 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on October 02, 2009, 01:10:59 PM
My daughters hated me for it, and still do.  :icon_twisted:

It must just go with the territory.   :rolleyes:
Arguing with Christians is like playing chess with a pigeon.  No matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

The truth is slow, but relentless. Over time it becomes irresistible.

Palehorse

#16
October 02, 2009, 01:30:05 PM
Quote from: Exterminator on October 02, 2009, 01:24:56 PM
It must just go with the territory.   :rolleyes:

Indeed. They are so paranoid they do everything they can to avoid me being left alone with their spouses, even to this very day.  :biggrin: When it does happen we have to endure an intense debriefing session, and receive suspicious looks for days!  :biggrin:

I obtain payback via the grandchildren though. I spoil them rotten, get them all hyped up on sugar, then send them back to momma!  :icon_twisted: In return they tell me everything momma says about me! Intelligence is priceless!
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

Henry Hawk

#17
October 02, 2009, 01:54:56 PM
Quote from: pariann on October 02, 2009, 01:20:23 PM
You guys with your 1 and 2 daughters.  Trying raising 7!!!

Quote from: Palehorse on October 02, 2009, 01:21:33 PM
I have 5 daughters. . .


:salute:

I got two daughters and WOW, that is enough...
"The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left."
Ecclesiastes 10:2 - It all makes sense to me now...


"The future ain't what it used to be."– Yogi Berra

"Square roots are rarely found on any plant." FTW

pariann

#18
October 02, 2009, 01:58:36 PM
PH, then I wasn't talking to you was I? LOL

just the ones with 1 and 2.  :wink:
Looks like I've come full circle.

Exterminator

#19
October 02, 2009, 02:04:07 PM
Quote from: pariann on October 02, 2009, 01:20:23 PM
You guys with your 1 and 2 daughters.  Trying raising 7!!!

No, thank you.
Arguing with Christians is like playing chess with a pigeon.  No matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

The truth is slow, but relentless. Over time it becomes irresistible.

Palehorse

#20
October 02, 2009, 02:28:27 PM
Quote from: Exterminator on October 02, 2009, 02:04:07 PM
No, thank you.

It tends to bring frost to the hair!  :spooked:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

Henry Hawk

#21
October 02, 2009, 02:29:28 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on October 02, 2009, 02:28:27 PM
It tends to bring frost to the hair!  :spooked:

or the departure of it from the scalp.... :eek:
"The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left."
Ecclesiastes 10:2 - It all makes sense to me now...


"The future ain't what it used to be."– Yogi Berra

"Square roots are rarely found on any plant." FTW

Palehorse

#22
October 02, 2009, 02:35:35 PM
 :biggrin:
Quote from: Henry Hawk on October 02, 2009, 02:29:28 PM
or the departure of it from the scalp.... :eek:
:biggrin:

I thought that was just "going green" by installing a solar panel atop the head!  :biggrin:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

Anne

#23
October 02, 2009, 05:56:12 PM
My husband just sat in the living room with them while he cleaned his shotgun. Seemed to work pretty good and he didn't have to talk to them (the boys).
"A discontented man will find no easy chair." Ben Franklin

Palehorse

#24
October 02, 2009, 07:11:30 PM
Children remind me of hell week in boot camp!  :spooked:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

LOsborne

#25
October 02, 2009, 08:23:10 PM
Things you learn from children:

A 4 -year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Children in the backseat cause accidents, accidents in the backseat cause children.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Spiderman Underoos and a Superman cape. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

Plastic toys do not like ovens.

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

Quiet does not mean don't worry.

Super-glue is forever.

The fire department in most major cities has at least a 5-minute response time.

The first anger of Christmas morning: Batteries not included.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

There is no such thing as childproofing your house.

VCR's do not eject sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

awol

#26
October 03, 2009, 11:37:13 PM
Quote from: Exterminator on October 02, 2009, 11:59:36 AM
I managed much of the teen years with the following:

Ten Rules for Dating My Daughter....



this is easier to remember, and somebody put it to music...

"Come on in boy, sit on down
And tell me 'bout yourself.
So you like my daughter, do you now?
Yeah we think she's something else.
She's her daddy's girl and her mama's world,
She deserves respect, that's what she'll get, ain't it son?
Now y'all run along and have some fun
I'll see you when you get back
Bet I'll be up all night
Still cleaning this gun..."
"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music." - George Carlin

pariann

#27
October 04, 2009, 01:02:23 AM
I like that song.  :yes:
Looks like I've come full circle.
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