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The Unknown Zone © Forums => The Rough House © (Unmoderated Open Forum) => Topic started by: Henry Hawk on December 13, 2015, 10:31:18 AM

Title: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on December 13, 2015, 10:31:18 AM
I know most of you are not in to prayers, but my Dad is in deep need of them at this time.  This is one of my most difficult time of my life right now
Title: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on December 13, 2015, 12:36:34 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 13, 2015, 10:31:18 AM
I know most of you are not in to prayers, but my Dad is in deep need of them at this time.  This is one of my most difficult time of my life right now
You got mine HH. I may.not attend church a lot but one can pray without ever attending a church. A church is just a building to me.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on December 13, 2015, 12:39:23 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 13, 2015, 10:31:18 AM
I know most of you are not in to prayers, but my Dad is in deep need of them at this time.  This is one of my most difficult time of my life right now

Done.  :yes:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Locutus on December 13, 2015, 03:35:24 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 13, 2015, 10:31:18 AM
I know most of you are not in to prayers, but my Dad is in deep need of them at this time.  This is one of my most difficult time of my life right now

Sorry to hear this Hank.  You are in my thoughts. 
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Anne on December 13, 2015, 05:50:31 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 13, 2015, 10:31:18 AM
I know most of you are not in to prayers, but my Dad is in deep need of them at this time.  This is one of my most difficult time of my life right now

Prayers for your dad and you.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on December 13, 2015, 11:01:28 PM
I think you know that we are all there for you HH. 
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on December 14, 2015, 08:31:06 AM
Guys,

I appreciate your support and kind words.  I REALLY DOES mean more to me than you may realize.

Sincerely,
THANKS!
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Bo D on December 14, 2015, 09:19:15 AM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 14, 2015, 08:31:06 AM
Guys,

I appreciate your support and kind words.  I REALLY DOES mean more to me than you may realize.

Sincerely,
THANKS!

Prayers for you and your family, Henry.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Exterminator on December 14, 2015, 09:47:09 AM
How's he doing, Hank?
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on December 14, 2015, 11:24:58 AM
Thanks guys,

For a 92 year old guy with bad hips, he is going okay.  The problem is in order to beat this pneumonia, he needs to have physical therapy.  That is hard to do with bad hips.  The bigger problem, is that he wants to die.  Not that I don't disagree with him.  He is ready.  His quality of life is not good. 

I only want what is best for my Dad.

Trying to figure this out is NOT easy.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Exterminator on December 14, 2015, 11:44:43 AM
 :(
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on December 14, 2015, 02:38:23 PM
HH, I am of the firm belief that we all know when it is our time to go. Humans and animals, they know when it is time.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on December 14, 2015, 06:08:59 PM
If he wants to walk into the white light, let him go, Henry. If you can handle it emotionally, stay with him, hold his hand, talk to him.


Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: me on December 14, 2015, 08:20:58 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 14, 2015, 11:24:58 AM
Thanks guys,

For a 92 year old guy with bad hips, he is going okay.  The problem is in order to beat this pneumonia, he needs to have physical therapy.  That is hard to do with bad hips.  The bigger problem, is that he wants to die.  Not that I don't disagree with him.  He is ready.  His quality of life is not good. 

I only want what is best for my Dad.

Trying to figure this out is NOT easy.
HH, do what is best for him. When I had to do what I did for mom I realized I wanted her treated to keep her here for me, not her, and was going against what she wanted and had expressed many times. Once I did what I knew she wanted I felt sad but at peace with myself. Hope that helped you some.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: The Troll on December 15, 2015, 10:53:49 AM


   Henry, my dad passed when he was 91.  He had been ready to go for two years.  When the time for his trip into the unknown I called Hospice and they came in and relieved him of his pain and he went in his sleep.   :'( :'(

  My wife had the same thing happen to her mother and she called Hospice and they really helped my mother-in-law pass  peacefully.   :'( :'(

  I had a close friend who had Cancer and was in great pain his wife call Hospice and they help Pat to  pass peacefully.  In fact the last day we were sitting at his kitchen table eating some Church's chicken which I brought him knowing how he loved it.  As we sat there I asked him how longer did he have.  He told me that his Hospice lady told him that he had no more that 2 days to live.  He said he asked her how she knew.  She said that she have been with Hospice for overs 15 years and she knew what the signs were.  We left when the rest of his family came in, telling I would be back tomorrow.  But tomorrow never came, he died that night in his sleep at 2AM in bed with his beloved wife.  My wife and I think Hospice is the thing for anyone to do when a loved one is in his last days.  Good Luck, The Troll.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Bo D on December 15, 2015, 11:05:54 AM
Quote from: The Troll on December 15, 2015, 10:53:49 AM

   Henry, my dad passed when he was 91.  He had been ready to go for two years.  When the time for his trip into the unknown I called Hospice and they came in and relieved him of his pain and he went in his sleep.   :'( :'(

  My wife had the same thing happen to her mother and she called Hospice and they really helped my mother-in-law pass  peacefully.   :'( :'(

  I had a close friend who had Cancer and was in great pain his wife call Hospice and they help Pat to  pass peacefully.  In fact the last day we were sitting at his kitchen table eating some Church's chicken which I brought him knowing how he loved it.  As we sat there I asked him how longer did he have.  He told me that his Hospice lady told him that he had no more that 2 days to live.  He said he asked her how she knew.  She said that she have been with Hospice for overs 15 years and she knew what the signs were.  We left when the rest of his family came in, telling I would be back tomorrow.  But tomorrow never came, he died that night in his sleep at 2AM in bed with his beloved wife.  My wife and I think Hospice is the thing for anyone to do when a loved one is in his last days.  Good Luck, The Troll.

I totally agree with you! When my dad was near his end, Hospice came in and they were wonderful. It helps the whole family.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on December 15, 2015, 11:26:13 AM
Again, I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers.....

We are talking our options this afternoon with St. V health adviser.  I don't believe he is ready for hospice.  He is still going fairly strong.  But, trying our best to keep him from a nursing home is where we are at.  I do NOT want to do this if at all possible.

Life can really be cruel....
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: AbbyTC on December 15, 2015, 02:16:05 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 15, 2015, 11:26:13 AM
Again, I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers.....

We are talking our options this afternoon with St. V health adviser.  I don't believe he is ready for hospice.  He is still going fairly strong.  But, trying our best to keep him from a nursing home is where we are at.  I do NOT want to do this if at all possible.

Life can really be cruel....

Hang in there, HH.  I do hope you call Hospice when the time is right.  We used them for my ex's mother-in-law, and my neighbor used them when his wife died of brain cancer.  This is a very rough road to travel; my thoughts are with you.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on December 15, 2015, 06:40:52 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 15, 2015, 11:26:13 AM
Again, I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers.....

We are talking our options this afternoon with St. V health adviser.  I don't believe he is ready for hospice.  He is still going fairly strong.  But, trying our best to keep him from a nursing home is where we are at.  I do NOT want to do this if at all possible.

Life can really be cruel....
I know a nursing home may not be where you want to put him but what about an assisted living program. Many of them have places similar to nursing homes. Whatever you choose, I hope it will be something you are comfortable with and be happy with.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on December 15, 2015, 08:14:33 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 15, 2015, 11:26:13 AM
Again, I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers.....

We are talking our options this afternoon with St. V health adviser.  I don't believe he is ready for hospice.  He is still going fairly strong.  But, trying our best to keep him from a nursing home is where we are at.  I do NOT want to do this if at all possible.

Life can really be cruel....

Lots of great advice from those of us who have travelled your path previously, is within this thread my friend.

I know a lot of these suggestions and advice appear to be things you do not even want to consider. That's natural at first for each one of us. We've all struggled with similar decisions too; some of us to the point of physical exhaustion, financial ruin, or worse. . . Me included.

It's gut wrenching I know, and I would carry this burden for you if I could my friend; and do so happily. You know how to get in touch with me if you find it too much to bear. . .

The one thing that helped me reach a comfort level with our decision, was the fact mom had signed a DNR, and had told all of us over the years she did not want to live her life hooked to machines, etc. Still, she hung on for several months despite Hospice care.

I vividly remember her telling me once how she NEVER wanted to become a burden to her children. She didn't want them traipsing in and out of hospitals or hospice facilities to see her, and didn't want to have her children having to take care of her. Alzheimers exacerbated things along those lines, but at the end we finally figured out what she had held on for. She crossed over on what would have been our father's 74th birthday. . .

A couple of my siblings struggled with guilt over the hospice decision at first, but after the ceremony the 4 of us, no husbands, wives, or children, had dinner together and talked through it. Once we were all reminded of what it was mom wanted for us, and herself, we achieved acceptance.

It was funny the way we came to realization about her passing on dads birthday. It wasn't until we'd placed her into the vault with day, and looked together at the marker, that we realized it. My sister had her death date engraved onto the marker well before the ceremony, and even she had not realized it. But when we saw those dates side-by-side, it was like a bolt of lightening hit all 4 of us. And we held hands and said, "Happy Birthday Dad. Mom's home!"  :smile:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on December 16, 2015, 09:43:52 AM
Just to let you know, I have read everyone's responses....and I have taken them all to heart.  I deeply appreciate you all taking the time to share your thoughts on this.

:smitten:

If anything, I have done some serious soul searching and have grown on many levels..........and if possible, found even MORE respect for my father........he truly IS a wonderful man...and he deserves the BEST that I can possibly give him...and I am content on providing that, no matter what.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: The Troll on December 16, 2015, 02:13:32 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 15, 2015, 11:26:13 AM
Again, I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers.....

We are talking our options this afternoon with St. V health adviser.  I don't believe he is ready for hospice.  He is still going fairly strong.  But, trying our best to keep him from a nursing home is where we are at.  I do NOT want to do this if at all possible.

Life can really be cruel....


  Henry, dying in not really a cruel time, look at as a new adventure for your dad.    You know that everything your god has made dies.  Yes, everything, even the Universe will die. 

   If I were  you I would call Hospice and the Visiting Nurses and have your dad evaluated.  You don't have to carry the whole load of you father  passing,  It will happen to everyone and the load can really be lightened.   :trustme: :flwr:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on December 17, 2015, 08:52:27 AM
This is such a roller coaster ... I have been with him since around noon yesterday.  He has gotten very weak and has slept most of the time . He can't remember why he is in the hospital and can hardly talk.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on December 17, 2015, 10:11:20 AM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 17, 2015, 08:52:27 AM
This is such a roller coaster ... I have been with him since around noon yesterday.  He has gotten very weak and has slept most of the time . He can't remember why he is in the hospital and can hardly talk.
So very sorry, HH!
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on December 17, 2015, 11:55:30 AM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 17, 2015, 08:52:27 AM
This is such a roller coaster ... I have been with him since around noon yesterday.  He has gotten very weak and has slept most of the time . He can't remember why he is in the hospital and can hardly talk.
That may be because of drugs -- are they giving him pain or other medications?

Here is something for you to try  -- it's a yoga breathing exercise from Dr. Weil that I use to calm down:

Sit with your back straight
Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper front teeth, and keep it there during the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth around your tongue; try pursing your lips slightly if this seems awkward.

First exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
Next close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of 4.
Next hold your breathe for a count of 7.
Then exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to the count of 8.
This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle 3 more times for a total of 4 breaths.
....
This exercise is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system.

From the book Natural Health Natural Medicine by Andrew Weil,, M. D. Revised edition 2004.




Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Anne on December 17, 2015, 12:16:45 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 17, 2015, 08:52:27 AM
This is such a roller coaster ... I have been with him since around noon yesterday.  He has gotten very weak and has slept most of the time . He can't remember why he is in the hospital and can hardly talk.

HH, I am so sorry for you and your family. Everyone has given you good advice. Just be with him as much as you can and hold his hand.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Bo D on December 21, 2015, 03:55:23 PM
Worried about Hank .....
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on December 21, 2015, 04:42:47 PM
 
Quote from: Bo D on December 21, 2015, 03:55:23 PM
Worried about Hank .....
:( Yes....
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on December 21, 2015, 04:57:54 PM
Yes. We've not heard from him in a few days now. . .  :confused:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on December 22, 2015, 12:36:25 PM
Sorry guys been with Dad almost 24/7 this last week.  He is in hospice, weak but fighting.  He is confused most of the time but we have had some good moments together.  Today is tough he believes hc is back at work and talking in detail about his job becoming angry with me when I try to keep him from getting out if bed. 

Pray that he has a peaceful end and soon.

Will be back soon
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: me on December 22, 2015, 01:27:40 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 22, 2015, 12:36:25 PM
Sorry guys been with Dad almost 24/7 this last week.  He is in hospice, weak but fighting.  He is confused most of the time but we have had some good moments together.  Today is tough he believes hc is back at work and talking in detail about his job becoming angry with me when I try to keep him from getting out if bed. 

Pray that he has a peaceful end and soon.

Will be back soon
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on December 22, 2015, 03:41:14 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 22, 2015, 12:36:25 PM
Sorry guys been with Dad almost 24/7 this last week.  He is in hospice, weak but fighting.  He is confused most of the time but we have had some good moments together.  Today is tough he believes hc is back at work and talking in detail about his job becoming angry with me when I try to keep him from getting out if bed. 

Pray that he has a peaceful end and soon.

Will be back soon
Prayers to you and your family, HH.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on December 22, 2015, 05:30:40 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 22, 2015, 12:36:25 PM
Sorry guys been with Dad almost 24/7 this last week.  He is in hospice, weak but fighting.  He is confused most of the time but we have had some good moments together.  Today is tough he believes hc is back at work and talking in detail about his job becoming angry with me when I try to keep him from getting out if bed. 

Pray that he has a peaceful end and soon.

Will be back soon

Sorry to hear this, but happy to realize you are getting to spend time with him. It seems you've taken the advice some have given you to heart, and I am VERY happy to hear that.

Losing a loved one, especially a parent, is among the hardest and most trying events we go through in life. I fully understand what you are going through Henry, and my thoughts are with you and your father every waking moment.

:'(
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on December 23, 2015, 12:21:10 PM
Still doing about the same........getting weaker.  I had to get away, so I came in to work for a few hours today.  My wife is with him today........she said he is sleeping peacefully.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: me on December 23, 2015, 01:20:03 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 23, 2015, 12:21:10 PM
Still doing about the same........getting weaker.  I had to get away, so I came in to work for a few hours today.  My wife is with him today........she said he is sleeping peacefully.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on December 23, 2015, 03:10:35 PM
As are mine, Henry. I am so sorry for the sadness of this Christmas for you; believe me, I know how you feel, what you are going through. My father passed away in late November after a long illness (he had lung cancer). He was 47 years old.
:(
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on December 23, 2015, 05:43:52 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 23, 2015, 12:21:10 PM
Still doing about the same........getting weaker.  I had to get away, so I came in to work for a few hours today.  My wife is with him today........she said he is sleeping peacefully.

I'm sorry things are so bad at this time of year for your family Hank.  :'( You and yours remain at the forefront of my thoughts.  :yes:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: AbbyTC on December 23, 2015, 07:25:28 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 23, 2015, 12:21:10 PM
Still doing about the same........getting weaker.  I had to get away, so I came in to work for a few hours today.  My wife is with him today........she said he is sleeping peacefully.

My thoughts are with you and your family at this time. 
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Anne on December 23, 2015, 07:44:56 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 23, 2015, 12:21:10 PM
Still doing about the same........getting weaker.  I had to get away, so I came in to work for a few hours today.  My wife is with him today........she said he is sleeping peacefully.

Praying for you and your family.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on December 23, 2015, 07:47:03 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on December 23, 2015, 12:21:10 PM
Still doing about the same........getting weaker.  I had to get away, so I came in to work for a few hours today.  My wife is with him today........she said he is sleeping peacefully.
It is never easy to a loved one and the holidays make it even harder. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Anne on December 23, 2015, 07:48:40 PM
Quote from: libby on December 23, 2015, 03:10:35 PM
As are mine, Henry. I am so sorry for the sadness of this Christmas for you; believe me, I know how you feel, what you are going through. My father passed away in late November after a long illness (he had lung cancer). He was 47 years old.
:(
Libby, I am sorry to hear about your dad. Lung cancer is hard. It takes young people. My dad died from it, he was 52.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on December 23, 2015, 09:02:35 PM
Quote from: Anne on December 23, 2015, 07:48:40 PM
Libby, I am sorry to hear about your dad. Lung cancer is hard. It takes young people. My dad died from it, he was 52.
Thank you, Anne.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 05, 2016, 11:47:34 AM
Well guys my Dad is still hanging in there despite the fact he has not eaten in 18 days.

He still responds with slight facial movement when I speak with him.

He squeezes my hand gently when I tell him I love him....

Tomorrow will mark exactly 4 weeks since we brought him to the hospital.  This has been a roller coaster of emotions for my family.  I have been fortunate that my boss has supported me along with my wife and kids i have been allowed to spend my time with him.  As tough as it is I consider myself blessed that I have spent nearly every hour by his side.

His bp is dropping slowly every day, his breathing is more shallow, and urine output is almost none.  His body is week but his spirit is strong.  I know this what he wants but he his body won't let go.

I believe his time is down to hours.... It will be sad yet a time of celebration.

Thanks for your support and your pms
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Locutus on January 05, 2016, 12:25:51 PM
From what you describe, his time is indeed short.  You are in my thoughts HH. 

:-[
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Bo D on January 05, 2016, 01:54:53 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 05, 2016, 11:47:34 AM
Well guys my Dad is still hanging in there despite the fact he has not eaten in 18 days.

He still responds with slight facial movement when I speak with him.

He squeezes my hand gently when I tell him I love him....

Tomorrow will mark exactly 4 weeks since we brought him to the hospital.  This has been a roller coaster of emotions for my family.  I have been fortunate that my boss has supported me along with my wife and kids i have been allowed to spend my time with him.  As tough as it is I consider myself blessed that I have spent nearly every hour by his side.

His bp is dropping slowly every day, his breathing is more shallow, and urine output is almost none.  His body is week but his spirit is strong.  I know this what he wants but he his body won't let go.

I believe his time is down to hours.... It will be sad yet a time of celebration.

Thanks for your support and your pms

Please know that, in our own way, we are all praying for you and your family.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 05, 2016, 02:14:20 PM
Quote from: Bo D on January 05, 2016, 01:54:53 PM
Please know that, in our own way, we are all praying for you and your family.
That my friend means a great deal to me...😊

Thanks!
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on January 05, 2016, 04:15:49 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 05, 2016, 02:14:20 PM
That my friend means a great deal to me...😊

Thanks!
Yes, we're there with you HH, each in our own way, with thoughts and prayers.

Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on January 05, 2016, 05:36:36 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 05, 2016, 11:47:34 AM
Well guys my Dad is still hanging in there despite the fact he has not eaten in 18 days.

He still responds with slight facial movement when I speak with him.

He squeezes my hand gently when I tell him I love him....

Tomorrow will mark exactly 4 weeks since we brought him to the hospital.  This has been a roller coaster of emotions for my family.  I have been fortunate that my boss has supported me along with my wife and kids i have been allowed to spend my time with him.  As tough as it is I consider myself blessed that I have spent nearly every hour by his side.

His bp is dropping slowly every day, his breathing is more shallow, and urine output is almost none.  His body is week but his spirit is strong.  I know this what he wants but he his body won't let go.

I believe his time is down to hours.... It will be sad yet a time of celebration.

Thanks for your support and your pms
You and your family are in my prayers and thoughts! I kind of know what you are going through as my own father has been in and out of the hospital since August. He is just a few years younger than your father
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on January 05, 2016, 05:40:41 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 05, 2016, 11:47:34 AM
Well guys my Dad is still hanging in there despite the fact he has not eaten in 18 days.

He still responds with slight facial movement when I speak with him.

He squeezes my hand gently when I tell him I love him....

Tomorrow will mark exactly 4 weeks since we brought him to the hospital.  This has been a roller coaster of emotions for my family.  I have been fortunate that my boss has supported me along with my wife and kids i have been allowed to spend my time with him.  As tough as it is I consider myself blessed that I have spent nearly every hour by his side.

His bp is dropping slowly every day, his breathing is more shallow, and urine output is almost none.  His body is week but his spirit is strong.  I know this what he wants but he his body won't let go.

I believe his time is down to hours.... It will be sad yet a time of celebration.

Thanks for your support and your pms

Hang in there Hank. I know it's tough. And I absolutely and completely understand "It will be sad yet a time of celebration." I am praying for a peaceful and easy transition for him and for your family as you deal with the very conflicting range of emotions this event brings with it.

And when the time comes, and if you feel alright with it, I'd like to pay a visit and offer my condolences to you and your family face-to-face if I am able. Please pm me here or you can text me the arrangements if you are okay with it. (I understand completely if you are not. The death of a loved one is a deeply personal and emotional time for us all, and sometimes we need to deal with it in our own way.)

Either way, just know I am sending you positive thoughts and support.  :'(
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: AbbyTC on January 05, 2016, 06:47:48 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 05, 2016, 11:47:34 AM
Well guys my Dad is still hanging in there despite the fact he has not eaten in 18 days.

He still responds with slight facial movement when I speak with him.

He squeezes my hand gently when I tell him I love him....

Tomorrow will mark exactly 4 weeks since we brought him to the hospital.  This has been a roller coaster of emotions for my family.  I have been fortunate that my boss has supported me along with my wife and kids i have been allowed to spend my time with him.  As tough as it is I consider myself blessed that I have spent nearly every hour by his side.

His bp is dropping slowly every day, his breathing is more shallow, and urine output is almost none.  His body is week but his spirit is strong.  I know this what he wants but he his body won't let go.

I believe his time is down to hours.... It will be sad yet a time of celebration.

Thanks for your support and your pms

So hard to go through, Hank, but glad you have so much support.  I know our support here isn't physical, but I hope you can feel it.  Sending good thoughts your way.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Anne on January 06, 2016, 10:39:30 AM
Henry, thinking of you and your family.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 07, 2016, 11:02:51 AM
The hospice nurse says he is down to his last 48 hours but.... He is not letting go with out a fight.

I am encouraging him to go and have been by his side 18 hours a day... And probably will be here until he passes.

It is a privilege to have this opportunity and I feel blessed.

Again thanks for your words of support

Hank
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Bo D on January 07, 2016, 11:14:31 AM
Be strong, Hank. But at the same time ... allow yourself to cry and grieve. Celebration will come.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 07, 2016, 11:23:33 AM
Quote from: Bo D on January 07, 2016, 11:14:31 AM
Be strong, Hank. But at the same time ... allow yourself to cry and grieve. Celebration will come.
Thanks Bo and I have been on a roller coaster of emotions.  But I am extremely content at this time.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on January 07, 2016, 11:33:12 AM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 07, 2016, 11:02:51 AM
The hospice nurse says he is down to his last 48 hours but.... He is not letting go with out a fight.

I am encouraging him to go and have been by his side 18 hours a day... And probably will be here until he passes.

It is a privilege to have this opportunity and I feel blessed.

Again thanks for your words of support

Hank
Prayers and thoughts to you and your family during this time
Title: Hank Strong!
Post by: Palehorse on January 07, 2016, 05:46:19 PM
Henry:

I've told you privately how much I admire the strength and dedication you have clearly demonstrated with your father's situation. Now I'm saying it publicly.

I'm fairly certain not many of us would be able to do what you have done. It takes a high level of fortitude, dedication, and love, and I truly admire your ability to not only endure it, but to remain steadfastly supportive of your father throughout. And then still find time to update us as well.

You are truly Hank Strong!  :yes:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: The Troll on January 07, 2016, 07:32:41 PM


  I know how you feel Hank.  My dad passed at 91,  He fought his battles and won, but this one battle he couldn't win.  He passed in his sleep and he went to a better place.  He had been ready to go for over two years.  I was there when he closed his eyes.   :'(

  He has a new adventure and so do you.  Living the rest of you life without dad, it hurts and is sad.  But soon and it is coming fast, faster than you think. your family will be doing the same thing for you.  All life must end, but how it ends is what counts.   :smitten:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on January 07, 2016, 08:17:32 PM
Quote from: The Troll on January 07, 2016, 07:32:41 PM

  . . .  All life must end, but how it ends is what counts.   :smitten:

Yes indeed!  :yes:

I expect to die cold and alone. . .
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 07, 2016, 08:49:22 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on January 07, 2016, 08:17:32 PM
Yes indeed!  :yes:

I expect to die cold and alone. . .
I doubt that very very much...especially since you got pumpkin head and his cousins.....they will be there for grandpa.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 10, 2016, 07:27:00 PM
Update:
My fathers new nickname is the "ironman"...he is still with us.  No response at all, but his vital signs are off the charts but stable...bp is low, breathing low....the nurse are amazed.  He is much stronger than we realized...the good thing is ... He is peaceful.  My sister has pushed me out for the night and I am home.  Perhaps he will pass while I am away.  I am at peace with it and will be back tomorrow to meet with the hospice nurse.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on January 10, 2016, 07:35:18 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 10, 2016, 07:27:00 PM
Update:
My fathers new nickname is the "ironman"...he is still with us.  No response at all, but his vital signs are off the charts but stable...bp is low, breathing low....the nurse are amazed.  He is much stronger than we realized...the good thing is ... He is peaceful.  My sister has pushed me out for the night and I am home.  Perhaps he will pass while I am away.  I am at peace with it and will be back tomorrow to meet with the hospice nurse.

I see where you get your drive from my friend!  :smile:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on January 11, 2016, 09:10:47 AM
FYI - Henry's father crossed over at 8 am this morning.

Please continue to keep them n your thoughts and prayers if you are so inclined.😔
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Bo D on January 11, 2016, 09:12:27 AM
 :'(
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on January 11, 2016, 10:12:54 AM
Henry, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at the passing of your father! Stay strong!
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Exterminator on January 11, 2016, 10:48:43 AM
My sincerest condolences.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on January 11, 2016, 11:18:01 AM
Henry, here's something a woman I used to work with gave me a long time ago. I came across it yesterday while sorting through some old papers, and thought of you and something Palehorse wrote about his parents not too long ago.

"I am standing on the seashore. A ship spreads her sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. I stand watching her until she fades on the horizon, and someone at my side says, "She is gone!"

' "Gone where?" The loss of sight is in me, not in her. Just at the moment when someone says, "She is gone, there are others who are watching for her coming. Other voices take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" '

And that is dying.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Locutus on January 11, 2016, 11:51:16 AM
Condolences to you and your family Hank.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: AbbyTC on January 11, 2016, 12:50:04 PM
Thoughts of comfort and peace to you and your family, Henry.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on January 11, 2016, 05:31:03 PM
Quote from: libby on January 11, 2016, 11:18:01 AM
Henry, here's something a woman I used to work with gave me a long time ago. I came across it yesterday while sorting through some old papers, and thought of you and something Palehorse wrote about his parents not too long ago.

"I am standing on the seashore. A ship spreads her sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. I stand watching her until she fades on the horizon, and someone at my side says, "She is gone!"

' "Gone where?" The loss of sight is in me, not in her. Just at the moment when someone says, "She is gone, there are others who are watching for her coming. Other voices take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" '

And that is dying.

Libby. I absolutely love this!  :yes:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on January 11, 2016, 05:37:18 PM
I've not heard much, understandably, from Henry since he notified me this morning of his father's passing; but I am sure that in the coming days he will stop in and read the posts those of you have made, and will make, to him and his family.

I want to thank each and every one of you for putting aside our differences and supporting our on line colleague and friend in this painful time within his life. I am proud of my fellow members this day.  :yes:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on January 11, 2016, 07:46:41 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on January 11, 2016, 05:31:03 PM
Libby. I absolutely love this!  :yes:
It affected me the same way.  :yes:


Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 11, 2016, 08:42:48 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on January 11, 2016, 05:37:18 PM
I've not heard much, understandably, from Henry since he notified me this morning of his father's passing; but I am sure that in the coming days he will stop in and read the posts those of you have made, and will make, to him and his family.

I want to thank each and every one of you for putting aside our differences and supporting our on line colleague and friend in this painful time within his life. I am proud of my fellow members this day.  :yes:

Perfectly said PH! ♥️😊

I cannot express myself enough on my appreciation by all of your words of support, thoughts and prayers.

I can honestly say I love my forum family...♥️...(despite your crazy liberal views 😀)
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 11, 2016, 08:44:49 PM
Quote from: libby on January 11, 2016, 11:18:01 AM
Henry, here's something a woman I used to work with gave me a long time ago. I came across it yesterday while sorting through some old papers, and thought of you and something Palehorse wrote about his parents not too long ago.

"I am standing on the seashore. A ship spreads her sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. I stand watching her until she fades on the horizon, and someone at my side says, "She is gone!"

' "Gone where?" The loss of sight is in me, not in her. Just at the moment when someone says, "She is gone, there are others who are watching for her coming. Other voices take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" '

And that is dying.
With tears in my eyes, I shared this with my family...♥️


Thank you
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on January 12, 2016, 08:29:32 AM
Quote from: libby on January 11, 2016, 11:18:01 AM
Henry, here's something a woman I used to work with gave me a long time ago. I came across it yesterday while sorting through some old papers, and thought of you and something Palehorse wrote about his parents not too long ago.

"I am standing on the seashore. A ship spreads her sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. I stand watching her until she fades on the horizon, and someone at my side says, "She is gone!"

' "Gone where?" The loss of sight is in me, not in her. Just at the moment when someone says, "She is gone, there are others who are watching for her coming. Other voices take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" '

And that is dying.
Thank you for posting that. I had seen this once before
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Anne on January 12, 2016, 05:27:55 PM
Henry,  I am so sorry for your loss.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Palehorse on January 12, 2016, 05:56:31 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 11, 2016, 08:42:48 PM
Perfectly said PH! ♥️😊

I cannot express myself enough on my appreciation by all of your words of support, thoughts and prayers.

I can honestly say I love my forum family...♥️...(despite your crazy liberal views 😀)

I am at your service my friend, you know that. Thanks are not necessary but appreciated. It's part of what friends are for.  :smile:

And I agree; what is a family without disagreements and very differing points of view? But when the chips are down, we are quick to align ourselves in order to support one another. And I am pleased to find our family has not changed, but grown as well. Our numbers may not be legion, but our quality exceeds those of many legions.

When I eventually check out myself, I want you all to know that I will find a way to send each one of you a sign that you will recognize. (If it is at all possible; and it is my sincere position that it is). Just to let you know I made the crossing safe and sound, and am missing our on line banter.  :smile:

(And Henry, your sign will be the same one you received during the past week; but larger in number. Three I would think).

This is a great group of individuals we have gathered here, and that is rare in physical life; rarer in cyber-space.  :yes:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Bo D on January 13, 2016, 12:20:11 PM
How are you holding up, Hank?
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 13, 2016, 12:58:06 PM
Quote from: Bo D on January 13, 2016, 12:20:11 PM
How are you holding up, Hank?
Pretty good it hurts even more than I thought it would despite it was something we all knew was best for him.

It has been a long ordeal (started on Dec 9)...trying to get back to some sort of normalcy

Again thanks to you and the rest of the zone family...it did indeed help.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 13, 2016, 01:01:05 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on January 12, 2016, 05:56:31 PM
I am at your service my friend, you know that. Thanks are not necessary but appreciated. It's part of what friends are for.  :smile:

And I agree; what is a family without disagreements and very differing points of view? But when the chips are down, we are quick to align ourselves in order to support one another. And I am pleased to find our family has not changed, but grown as well. Our numbers may not be legion, but our quality exceeds those of many legions.

When I eventually check out myself, I want you all to know that I will find a way to send each one of you a sign that you will recognize. (If it is at all possible; and it is my sincere position that it is). Just to let you know I made the crossing safe and sound, and am missing our on line banter.  :smile:

(And Henry, your sign will be the same one you received during the past week; but larger in number. Three I would think).

This is a great group of individuals we have gathered here, and that is rare in physical life; rarer in cyber-space.  :yes:
For a lack of finding the right words at this time I will just say this....😎♥️

I will be pm'ing you soon.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on January 13, 2016, 03:29:50 PM
Hang in their Henry. You will have good days and bad days. I would like to say the good outweighs the bad but not necessarily so. Each person grieves differently so take your time and just know that you are cared about!
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on January 14, 2016, 12:00:00 AM
Quote from: Palehorse on January 12, 2016, 05:56:31 PM
I am at your service my friend, you know that. Thanks are not necessary but appreciated. It's part of what friends are for.  :smile:

And I agree; what is a family without disagreements and very differing points of view? But when the chips are down, we are quick to align ourselves in order to support one another. And I am pleased to find our family has not changed, but grown as well. Our numbers may not be legion, but our quality exceeds those of many legions.

When I eventually check out myself, I want you all to know that I will find a way to send each one of you a sign that you will recognize. (If it is at all possible; and it is my sincere position that it is). Just to let you know I made the crossing safe and sound, and am missing our on line banter.  :smile:

(And Henry, your sign will be the same one you received during the past week; but larger in number. Three I would think).

This is a great group of individuals we have gathered here, and that is rare in physical life; rarer in cyber-space.  :yes:
:yes: :smile:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Purplelady1040 on January 14, 2016, 11:13:57 AM
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 14, 2016, 12:02:32 PM
 8)
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: The Troll on January 14, 2016, 06:13:22 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on January 14, 2016, 12:02:32 PM
8)

  How did Hospice work out for you?  I hope it was fine as it was for my wife and me.   :yes: :smile:
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 14, 2016, 07:12:11 PM
Quote from: The Troll on January 14, 2016, 06:13:22 PM
  How did Hospice work out for you?  I hope it was fine as it was for my wife and me.   :yes: :smile:
The nurses at Anderson St Vincent was outstanding! They did such a wonderful job at keeping him comfortable and peaceful.  They were very accomadatting to me and my sister.  They were very sweet and caring to Dad.

Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Mr442 on January 17, 2016, 03:26:04 PM
Sorry for your loss Henry.  Time will help.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 18, 2016, 08:08:47 AM
Quote from: Mr442 on January 17, 2016, 03:26:04 PM
Sorry for your loss Henry.  Time will help.
Thanks 442...
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Bo D on January 29, 2016, 11:31:11 AM
How you doing, Hank? Getting any better yet?
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 29, 2016, 12:43:10 PM
Yeah...as I was telling another member in a PM,  It was much harder than I dreamed. Even though he was ready and wanted to die.......It was difficult to sit beside him day in and day out and watch him deteriorate.  He was peaceful.
He and I was very close.....and I am extremely grateful that I got have a "Dad" for 55 years....and he was a very good one too!

I miss him like crazy, but he is no longer in any pain or misery.

Thanks for asking....  :)
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: libby on January 29, 2016, 03:27:30 PM
Hank, I'm sorry if I was too rough on you so soon after your devastating loss. I've been going through a loss of my own and guess my level of sensitivity where others are concerned is not what it used to be. Kinda like stay tough to keep from crying.
Title: Re: My Dad
Post by: Henry Hawk on January 29, 2016, 03:41:58 PM
Quote from: libby on January 29, 2016, 03:27:30 PM
Hank, I'm sorry if I was too rough on you so soon after your devastating loss. I've been going through a loss of my own and guess my level of sensitivity where others are concerned is not what it used to be. Kinda like stay tough to keep from crying.

No worries!  :) I'm sorry to hear about your loss... :(