Nutrition

[tallulahdahling]

Very interesting!

http://drbenkim.com/climb-right-wall-health.html

[tallulahdahling]

HEALTHY HABITS OF THE HEALTHIEST COUNTRIES
     
If you've vacationed in an international destination, you know that learning about its food is one of the best ways to become familiar with a new culture. But lately, Americans have also taken greater interest in global cuisine because of health benefits attributed to certain styles of eating.


Three servings or more a day of produce can lower the risk of stroke, heart disease, and some cancers.

Books, such as "The French Diet: The Secrets of Why French Women Don't Get Fat," by Michel Montignac, and ongoing nutrition studies of the so-called Mediterranean diet and Asian foods continue to garner new headlines.

We've sifted through the research to offer the following eating and meal-planning tips. Making small changes in the way you eat can bring big health benefits -- and more enjoyment -- to your table.

Healthy Habit 1: Eat plenty of produce and whole grains

Countries known for putting it into practice: China and Greece

In many countries, meat is a garnish. The traditional Chinese diet, for example, consists primarily of vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. And in Greece, "vegetables and legumes are main meals, not just side dishes," says Antonia Trichopoulou, M.D., Ph.D., professor at the University of Athens Medical School and director of the World Health Organization's Collaborating Center of Nutrition.

Research finds that three servings or more a day of produce can lower the risk of stroke, heart disease, and some cancers. Harvard University's Nurses Health Study, for example, which examined almost 85,000 women over 12 to 14 years, found that those who ate the most fruit and vegetables had a 20 percent lower risk for heart disease.

USDA diet and nutrition guidelines recommend we eat between five and 13 servings of fruit and vegetables a day, and we're starting to hear the message. Today, the average American consumes more than 330 pounds of fresh produce per year, up from 287 pounds in 1990. Plus, with the growth of America's farmers' markets, the introduction of Consumer Supported Agriculture, where community members buy produce from local farmers each month, and home delivery from many supermarkets, opportunities for Americans to have fresh produce abound. CookingLight.com: America's healthy living habits

What you can do:Try to fill two-thirds of your plate with produce and whole-grain foods, and the remaining third with fish or meat, Montignac says. Also, challenge yourself to put as many colors as possible into your meal. Or go on a fruit exploration: Try one new type of fruit from your local market each week. In summer, freeze some of your new favorites for a frosty after-dinner treat.

Healthy Habit 2: Savor leisurely dining

Countries known for putting it into practice: Italy, France, Spain, Greece, Japan

A meal in these countries often lasts several hours. In fact, one of Greece's dietary guidelines, its version of our USDA dietary guidelines, is to "eat slowly, preferably at regular times of the day, and in a pleasant environment." Sharing a meal is so important that Greeks call someone a friend "by saying we have shared bread together," Trichopoulou says.

For the French, Italians, and Spanish, meals provide quality time with friends and family, a practice that encourages healthful bonds. Eating comfortably and slowly discourages overeating and fosters relaxation, which aids digestion. The body processes food more easily and efficiently when it's calm, Montignac says.

What you can do: Take time to savor the scent, texture, and flavor of food. A traditional Japanese tea ceremony, for example, includes a role for each of the senses -- watching and listening as the tea pours from pot to cup, picking up the cup and feeling the heat, smelling, and finally, tasting. Another way to savor your supper: Divide it into separate courses. Instead of bringing everything to the table at once, have a salad course, then fruit, entrée, and dessert -- with, say, at least 10 minutes between each course to digest, chat, and relax. Whether you're dining with a spouse, family, or just you, set the table and sit down, rather than grazing in the kitchen -- and enjoy.

Healthy Habit 3: Practice portion control

Countries known for putting it into practice: France, Japan

Your Health Tools
MayoClinic.com: Health Library
Healthology: Health Video Library
We have an abundance of delicious and nutritious food available in America; we just need to pay attention to portions. An average meal in France is 25 percent smaller than one in America, according to a University of Pennsylvania comparison, which examined portion sizes at 11 similar pairs of establishments, from pizza parlors to ethnic restaurants. The study also found that a typical carton of yogurt sold in Philadelphia was 82 percent larger than one offered in Paris, and a soft drink was 52 percent larger. In Japan, foods also come in smaller sizes and are often eaten out of bowls, rather than large plates or platters.

What you can do: Japanese from the Okinawa region, who enjoy the longest life span in the world (an average of 82 years), practice "hara hachi bu," which translates to "eight parts out of 10" and means Okinawans stop eating when they are 80 percent full, says Brad Willcox, M.D., coauthor of the "Okinawa Diet Plan." To adopt the concept, set down your fork and remove your plate at the first twinge of fullness, instead of taking a break and eating more. You can also use smaller plates and bowls when setting the table; use a food scale to measure portions; and opt for filling, fiber-rich foods, such as lentils and vegetables. CookingLight.com: Portion size wise

Healthy Habit 4: Eat a variety of unprocessed, fresh foods

Countries known for putting it into practice: Italy, France, Greece, Japan, the United States

The first thing many foreign visitors comment on when they enter an American supermarket is how many choices are available. It's not uncommon to find wild Alaskan salmon, olive oil from Greece, and grains from Italy all in one store. Organic foods and farmers' markets have also never been more popular. Many of these outlets feature interesting varieties, such as heirloom fruits and vegetables.

Shopping in countries such as France and Italy may also involve several stops -- at the butcher, the greengrocer, and the baker --which not only increases the shopper's activity level, but also results in meals made with unprocessed ingredients, Montignac says. Studies show that fresh foods provide more fiber; fewer calories, saturated fats, and trans fats; and less added salt and sugar.

What you can do: Skip the prepared food aisles at the market and choose fresh, whole foods. Also, indulge in salads: With so many fresh vegetables and fruits available, you can put together a big, colorful one in minutes. Combine baby greens, sliced mushrooms, cherry or sweet grape tomatoes, prechopped fresh bell peppers, and red onions. Drizzle with a bottled, reduced-calorie vinaigrette, and add whole-grain crackers, melba rounds, or matzoh crackers on the side to sneak in whole grains. Also, take vegetables beyond salads and steamers by pairing sautéed broccoli or spinach with whole wheat pasta, and tossing with roasted beets and walnuts. CookingLight.com: Food trends worth following

Healthy Habit 5: Spice up your plate

Countries known for putting it into practice: India, China, Thailand, the United States

Herbs and spices add delicious, attractive, and healthful flair to your plate. In addition to being low in calories and virtually fat free, researchers are discovering that herbs, such as garlic, thyme, and rosemary, and spices, like cinnamon, cloves, and curcumin (also known as turmeric), may fight disease. One 40-day study of 60 people with type-2 diabetes found that consuming half a teaspoon of cinnamon twice daily significantly lowered subjects' blood sugar and cholesterol levels.

What you can do: In the United States, we have many ethnic restaurants and food choices where spices take center stage, and there are still more ways to add them to your diet. For example, to make sure fresh, delicious herbs are available year-round, start a container garden on your windowsill. You can also experiment with using unfamiliar spices on familiar foods. For example, if you love roasting a whole chicken or chicken breasts in paprika, try it with, say, curry powder. Rub the chicken well with the powder, then roast until juicy and tender. Dip bites of the chicken in bottled chutney mixed with a little lemon or lime juice. Alternatively, add a sprinkle of earthy ground cumin, a touch of ground cinnamon, and a pinch of nutmeg or coriander after rice cooks to add bold flavor and aroma. You can also add fresh herb leaves, such as basil, mint, or tarragon, to salads for a flavor boost.

[tallulahdahling]

WHAT MEN SHOULD EAT DAILY

Typically, men think about their health at one time -- during a crisis. But the problem with that wait-and-treat approach is that men are constantly responding to health emergencies rather than preventing them.

So what's the prescription for better men's health? Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Michael Roizen say there are 11 things a man should eat every day --or nearly every day --to keep things running smoothly.

1. Fruits and vegetables provide essential vitamins and minerals that will keep your body healthy. Foods rich in magnesium like beets, raisins, dates and soybeans are especially important because they'll keep your bowels moving regularly. Dr. Roizen says a man should eat about five handfuls of fruits and vegetables a day.

2. A man should shoot to get about 25 grams of fiber in his diet every day. You can reach this goal through foods like artichokes, lima beans, soybeans, grapefruit, certain berries and whole grains.

Dr. Oz says that eating whole grains isn't just the latest craze -- they offer multiple benefits to health, including achieving proper poop. But first you need to read the label. When you're buying bread, make sure it says "100 percent whole grain" or "100 percent whole wheat." If the label says something else --like "7-grain" or "multigrain" -- it may not be whole grain.

3. Dr. Oz says you can significantly reduce your chances of getting cancer by eating foods rich in folate -- you should get about 800 milligrams a day. If you don't take it as a supplement, you can find folate in orange juice, spinach and other leafy green vegetables.

"Folate decreases arterial aging, decreases blood pressure and decreases cancer rate," Dr. Roizen says. On labels, look for the words "folate" or "folic," he says.

4. As well as being good for the heart, tomatoes decrease risk of arterial aging, heart disease, stroke, memory loss, impotence and wrinkling of the skin, Dr. Roizen says. And tomato-based products contain lycopene, which has been shown to fight cancer.

But to really reap the benefits, you can't just put a few slices of an heirloom tomato in your salad. The best way to get the positive effects is by eating 10 tablespoons of tomato sauce a week. "It takes 165 raw tomatoes to equal 10 tablespoons of tomato sauce," Dr. Roizen says. "So it's much easier to have tomato sauce."

Dr. Roizen adds that it doesn't matter what kind of tomato sauce you have, "as long as it's cooked, and you eat it with a little olive oil and a little healthy fat because it's much better absorbed with it."

5. Dr. Roizen says walnuts and almonds are excellent for health. And not only are walnuts and hazelnuts excellent sources of heart-healthy omega-3s, but if you eat nuts before sugars (in dishes like pasta or corn on the cob), the fat in the nuts will slow your stomach and help your body most effectively process that sugar. One thing to remember is to keep nuts refrigerated so they don't oxidize.

6. If there's a true magic pill, Dr. Oz says it could be baby aspirin. "It's cheap and easy to take aspirin," he says. "Aspirin has many, many helping elements. It helps your skin, it helps about anything you can imagine. It has some potential risks if people have sensitive stomachs. But for cancer, you've got to be on it."

A man over 35 should take two baby aspirin --or 162.5 milligrams --every day. It can reduce his rise of arterial aging by 36 percent.

7. In recent years, there has been a lot of conflicting information about eating fish. On the one hand, fish is consistently regarded as a terrific source of low-fat protein. On the other hand, there are persistent concerns about mercury and other environmental impurities.

Dr. Roizen says you just have to remember a few great fish -- tilapia, salmon, flounder, cod and mahi-mahi --especially if they are wild caught. And not only is salmon a great source of protein, it has the added health bonus of being full of omega-3s, which are important for a healthy heart. According to Dr. Roizen, you should eat a serving of these fish three times a week.

8. Dr. Roizen says that it is important to drink eight glasses -- or about 64 ounces -- of fluid every day. "It helps move the poop and gives you better hydration. It actually cuts down on wrinkles, too, because you hydrate your skin when you take it internally."

9. "Red wine has a chemical in it called rezveritrol, which is a very strong antioxidant that's also been shown to be heart-healthy," Dr. Oz says.

Why red and not white? "Red wine has the material from the skins of the grapes [which provides the rezveritrol]. The white wine has that skin stripped away. So if you're going to drink wine and you're going to take the hit on calories, drink red wine."

10. Men will stand up and cheer for this next Dr. Oz tidbit --coffee is actually good for you in reasonable amounts.

Coffee actually has been shown to reduce liver cancer and to be effective with -- or with symptoms of -- Alzheimer's and Parkinson's diseases, Dr. Oz says. "So there are a bunch of different places where coffee can play a role. The reason it got a bad name is because it does have side effects, for example, migraine headaches and heart palpitations. But if you're not having them, coffee is reasonable."

Did we mention, it's good for those bowel movements, too? Dr. Oz suggests 24 ounces of coffee a day is a rational amount for one person.

11. The calcium in milk is obviously good for bones -- any man with a mother has heard that one. But the other important ingredient is vitamin D, which is a cancer-fighting agent. While your body can actually get this vital nutrient from the sun, if you live north of Los Angeles or Atlanta, you won't get enough vitamin D in winter and you'll need to supplement it. A glass of milk or fortified orange juice a day should do the trick.

[tallulahdahling]

I'm starting an all-plant diet tommorow.  Supposed to wash all the chemo out of my system and get me ready for radiation.

I'm supposed to do it for a month.

Lord help me!  Sure am gonna miss my bread and cheese   

[tallulahdahling]

The Anti-Cancer Diet
By Dr. Ben Kim on March 01, 2006 Healthy Eating

In response to an article on ways to prevent cancer that I wrote a few weeks ago, several subscribers sent in letters asking for a specific anti-cancer diet, one that can be followed after receiving chemotherapy.

I recommend the following guidelines to people who visit our clinic looking to get stronger and healthier after a bout with chemotherapy:

    * Set up a support system among family and friends that ensures that you have access to freshly pressed vegetable juices every day
    * All juices should contain at least 50 percent green vegetables by volume, the best choices being dark green, leafy vegetables like romaine lettuce, kale, Swiss chard, and collard greens
    * If your life circumstances are such that you cannot arrange to have daily access to fresh vegetable juices, take 3 heaping tablespoons of a high quality green food product every day, mixed with water
    * Until you crave animal products, stick to eating fresh vegetables, their juices, and fruits only
    * Eat fruits and vegetables that are naturally rich in antioxidants
    * Take 1 teaspoon of a high quality cod liver oil per 40-50 pounds of body weight on a daily basis
    * Eat only when you are hungry and chew well when you do

A typical day would look something like the following:

    Breakfast

    Blueberries, mango, apple, avocado, celery sticks, and romane lettuce

    Mid-morning snack

    Glass of freshly pressed vegetable juice - 8 leaves of romaine lettuce, handful of parsley, 2 ribs of celery, 2 carrots

    Lunch

    Large vegetable salad made with romaine lettuce, tomatoes, celery, bell peppers, carrots, avocado, and raw walnuts

    Dressing, if desired: freshly pressed juice of 1/2 an orange

    Mid-afternoon snack

    Glass of freshly pressed vegetable juice - 4 large leaves of Swiss chard, 4 leaves of romaine lettuce, small piece of raw red beet, 3 ribs of celery

    Dinner

    Large plate of steamed vegetables - Chinese cabbage, broccoli, green beans, sweet potatoes
    1 whole avocado on the side

    Evening snack

    Any ripe fruit in season or a handful of raw walnuts and organic raisins

I have found that this type of diet satisfies most chemotherapy recipients for at least a month, sometimes for as long as a year.

When cravings for animal foods surface, I recommend eating small amounts of organic eggs, wild fish such as wild salmon or anchovies, and any flesh meats that are raised with organic feed and in a free-range environment. Small amounts of raw dairy products that are obtained from organic and hygienic sources are also fine for people who can tolerate dairy. When eating animal foods, I recommend striving to make them no more than 30 percent of each meal. Vegetables should always be the biggest portion of every meal.

Beyond dietary guidelines to fight cancer, here are a few critical lifestyle recommendations:

    * Be in the presence of fresh air as much as possible
    * Without getting burned, let your skin see sunshine for at least 15 minutes every day
    * Spend your emotional energy on things that make you feel loved, loving, and peaceful
    * Get as much physical rest as you possibly can - if you've been abusing your body for years, then taking a year off from work and other major responsibilities may be just what you need to restore your health

Most importantly, an anti-cancer regimen must include constant reminders about why you want to be healthy again. Think about your reasons for wanting to be at your best. Take as much time as is necessary to become crystal clear on your reasons. Then, write your reasons down on paper and review them every day.

Remember: no one in this world can accurately tell you what your prognosis is. Your life is not a statistic. Your thoughts and daily choices are the most significant determinants of your health today and in the future.

[tallulahdahling]

Thirteen Ways To Prevent Cancer
By Dr. Ben Kim on September 05, 2005 General Health Information

The purpose of this article is to outline 13 ways that you can decrease your risk of developing any type of cancer. The following 13 ways to prevent cancer are presented in no particular order:

1. If you are going to be sexually active, be in a mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who is not infected by human papilloma virus (HPV)

Genital HPV infection is a sexually transmitted disease that is caused by the human papilloma virus. There are actually more than 100 strains of the human papilloma virus, some of which can lead to cancer of the cervix, vagina, vulva, anus, or penis.

If you are sexually active and are not in a mutually monogamous relationship, I recommend that you learn more about HPV through various online resources. A clear and simple outline on HPV can be found at the Centers For Disease Control And Prevention website.

I encourage women who belong in this category to have a Pap test on an annual basis. I believe that Pap tests can be extremely useful for sexually active women who have had multiple partners or a partner who has had multiple partners because surgical excision of pre-cancerous and cancerous cells of the cervix is one of the safest and most effective procedures performed by the medical profession. I have worked with dozens of women over the years who have benefited from this procedure.

2. Eat lots of plant foods, mainly organic vegetables, legumes, whole grains, and fruits

Plant foods provide an abundance of antioxidants and fiber, both of which are known to reduce the risk of developing several different types of cancer.

Vegetables and fruits reduce the risk of developing cancers of the lung, stomach, esophagus, and larynx, while legumes and grains may help to reduce the risk of developing cancers of the stomach and pancreas.

There are five major groups of cancer-fighting compounds in fruits and vegetables: isothiocyanates, indols, cumines, phenols, and flavones.

The most powerful cancer-fighting vegetables belong to the cruciferous family, the most common of which are:

    * Broccoli
    * Cabbage
    * Brussels sprouts
    * Mustard greens
    * Kale
    * Cauliflower.

A perfect cancer-fighting salad looks something like this:

    * Romaine lettuce
    * Tomatoes
    * Bell peppers
    * Broccoli
    * Chick peas
    * Kidney beans
    * Avocado
    * Carrots

3. Stay away from sugar

A study published in the February 2004 edition of the Journal of the National Cancer Institute points to a strong association between a diet high in sugar and the risk of colorectal cancer in women.

There are too many published studies on the relationship between sugar intake and cancer to list them all in this article. If you want to learn more about sugar and cancer, a good place to start is here: Glycemic Modulation of Tumor Tolerance.

4. Learn how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy oils

The healthiest oils are extra virgin olive oil and coconut oil. Oils that should be avoided whenever possible include corn, cottonseed, sunflower, and safflower oils. To learn more about healthy vs. unhealthy oils, view: A Guide To Choose Healthy Oils.

5. Beware of electromagnetic fields and ionizing radiation

In an early draft of a report issued in the spring of 1990, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) in the United States recommended that electromagnetic fields (EMFs) be classified as a class B carcinogen - a probable human carcinogen. Unfortunately, by the time that the EPA released the final draft of this report, the words "class B carcinogen" were nowhere to be found.

Despite their change of heart on electromagnetic fields, the EPA did include the following in their report:

    "In conclusion, several studies showing leukemia, lymphoma and cancer of the nervous system in children exposed to EMF's, supported by similar findings in adults in several occupational studies also involving electrical power frequency exposures, show a consistent pattern of response that suggest a causal link."

There is plenty of evidence in the scientific literature that has me convinced that electromagnetic fields can be a significant cause of cancer. If you want to learn more about this topic, a good place to start is here: Electro-Magnetic Pollution and Health in the Workplace.

X-rays, mammograms, and other forms of ionizing radiation are also capable of causing cancer. Dr. Jon Gofman's findings on ionizing radiation are summarized here: Points to Consider Before Taking Another X-Ray.

6. Don't use oral contraceptives or hormone replacement therapies

Oral contraceptives (combinations of estrogen and progestin used to prevent ovulation) increase a woman's risk of developing breast and liver cancer. Oral contraceptives also increase a woman's risk of experiencing a heart attack or stroke and developing a serious blood clot.

Estrogen-based drugs that are used for symptoms of menopause are associated with an increased risk of developing cancer of the endometrium and possibly the breast.

7. Strive to maintain your optimal weight

Obesity is an established cause of both endometrial and post menopausal breast cancer. Obesity is also strongly associated with cancers of the kidney, colon, and rectum.

Reaching and maintaining your optimal weight is a simple matter of balancing the calories you consume and use each day. What's not so simple is overcoming any emotional stressors that may be getting in the way of you balancing these factors. This is a topic that we will look at in greater detail in future newsletters.

8. Be physically active

Daily exercise can help to prevent cancer through the following mechanisms:

    * Boosting your immune system
    * Preventing obesity
    * Decreasing estrogen levels
    * Decreasing insulin growth factor (IGF) levels - high IGF levels can increase your risk of developing cancer of the breast, colon, and rectum

9. Minimze your exposure to environmental toxins

Thanks to the industrial revolution, environmental toxins can be found in every part of our world. A clinical review in the February 2004 issue of the British Medical Journal suggests that up to 75 percent of all cases of cancer are caused by environmental and lifestyle factors.

It's impossible to avoid exposure to environmental toxins entirely, but you can strive to avoid the following everyday toxins through simple lifestyle choices:

    * Heavy metals - found in mercury fillings, treated wood, antiperspirants, vaccines, and factory farmed fish
    * Polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) - found in factory farmed fish
    * Asbestos - found in many building materials made before the mid to late 1970s
    * Dioxins - found in fat of animals that are factory farmed
    * Volatile Organic Compounds (VOCs) - found in cosmetics, clothing that has been dry cleaned, air fresheners, paints, deodorants, and bug repellents
    * Pesticides - non-organic fruits and vegetables, factory farmed meats, and bug repellents

10. Strive to sleep soundly for 8-10 hours per day in darkness

Sound and regular sleep is essential to promoting a healthy circadian rhythm, which is intimately interconnected with your endocrine system and ability to prevent cancer. Recent studies have indicated that sleeping in complete darkness is essential to supporting an endocrine system that can suppress cancer development. For guidelines on how to promote deep, restful sleep, view: Nine Steps To Better Sleep.

11. Don't smoke tobacco, drink alcohol, or use any other recreational drugs

According to the Harvard Center For Cancer Prevention, approximately 30 percent of all deaths due to cancer in the United States can be attributed to tobacco use. And every day, we are learning more about how harmful second hand tobacco smoke is to human health. It's been more than 12 years since the Environmental Protection Agency classified tobacco smoke as a Group A carcinogen, for which there is no safe level of exposure.

Heavy alcohol use is strongly associated with cancer of the liver. Alcohol can interact with tobacco smoking to cause various cancers of the upper respiratory and gastrointestinal tracts. Finally, alcohol consumption is also associated with an increased risk of developing breast cancer. There's no way around it: alcohol should be avoided whenever possible.

Marijuana and cocaine use have been shown to increase one's risk of developing lung cancer.

12. Go easy on the salt

Heavy salt intake is associated with cancer of the stomach. All salt - including mineral dense sea salt - should be used sparingly.

13. Strive to be emotionally balanced

This last point may be the most important factor that determines your risk of developing cancer. Emotional stress is highly capable of causing every single health condition that we know of, all types of cancer included. I've said it before and I'll say it again: you can have the healthiest diet in the world and still develop cancer if you are not emotionally balanced.

[Bo D]

Marijuana and cocaine use have been shown to increase one's risk of developing lung cancer.

Rats!

I was with you all the way until that! 

[tallulahdahling]

LOL-- yeah--they're always trying to take the fun outta everything!

[Bo D]

Did they ever give you Marinol during your chemo? My daughter is a pediatric oncology nurse at Johns Hopkins and she told me they give it to some of the kids there to help them regain an appetite.

[Dexter Morgan]

Man, I am soooooo SCREWED!!!!!  I could never survive on a diet like that!!!  It's official.... Dex is headed for a very early grave. 

[tallulahdahling]

Did they ever give you Marinol during your chemo? My daughter is a pediatric oncology nurse at Johns Hopkins and she told me they give it to some of the kids there to help them regain an appetite.

No, I maintained a steady diet of steroids and other anti-nausea medication that worked quite well.  I really haven't had any problems with my appetite or nausea.  It's just that everything has a horrid metallic taste to it.

[tallulahdahling]

I have a very good friend from Thailand who is a Buddhist.  She used to tell me that the reasons most Americans are sick is due to the processed foods they consume and their association with "sick" people.
When she said "sick" I just assumed she meant the cold and flu--but what she really meant was TOXIC people.
I think she's absolutely correct and I found another article to substantiate her theory:

A bit of a long read but worth it IMO

How to Protect Your Health Against Toxic Behavior
By Dr. Ben Kim on August 13, 2007 Personal Observations


Several years ago, I was fortunate to meet a lady named Deborah at a fasting clinic in northern California. I had several conversations with Deborah over the course of a year, and what I remember most about her is that her kindness was amazingly genuine; the feeling for me was that she had spent a lifetime enduring great sadness and suffering, and had done much inner work to identify and strive to live according to her ideals.

One day, I asked Deborah why she chose to eat her meals alone rather than with other fasting guests. After a beat of silence, she told me that she was getting some negative vibes from another guest, and that she felt that it was best for her resting experience to stay away from that energy. I remember her using the word "toxic" to describe the other guest's energy - not in a malicious way, but with a thoughtful and observational tone.

Deborah's thoughts on avoiding unnecessary toxic energy have stayed with me over the years. I feel that this facet of living is a vastly underrated determinant of health and overall quality of life. We know that our sense of emotional balance or lack thereof has constant influence over the health of every organ system in our bodies, particularly our nervous and endocrine systems. And clearly, our emotional health status is largely affected by the interactions that we experience with ourselves and others on a daily basis. So it stands to reason that learning how to identify and effectively deal with toxic influences is an important skill to develop when looking to experience optimal health and a peaceful life.

How to Identify Human Toxicity

Generally speaking, I think it's safe to say that a person is toxic to your health if his or her behavior makes you feel bad on a regular basis. Clearly, there are exceptions to this guideline. For example, if a close friend or family member shares a concern about your behavior with a spirit of wanting to improve your relationship, you may feel bad and your health may take a temporary hit, but it doesn't make sense to label such friends or family members as being toxic.

What follows are specific patterns of behavior that I believe fall into the "toxic-to-your-health" category:

   1. Attempting to intimidate you by yelling or becoming violent in any manner (slamming a door is violence).
   2. Consistently talking down at you, sending the message that he or she is just plain better than you.
   3. Regularly telling you what he or she thinks is wrong with you.
   4. Slandering others behind their backs i.e. trying to engage you in gossip that is hurtful to others.
   5. Spending the bulk of your conversations complaining about his or her life and others.
   6. Discouraging you from pursuing your interests and dreams.
   7. Attempting to take advantage of your kindness and resources, and trying to make you feel guilty if you don't do what he or she wants.

How to Deal With Toxic People and Behavior

So how do you preserve your health after you have identified a person as being toxic to your health? The answer depends on the role that the toxic person plays in your life. Although it is virtually impossible to categorize all such people into neat columns, I tend to classify them into one of the following groups:

Group 1: H&G (Hi and Good Bye)

Examples of people who belong in this category:

    Unkind customer service representatives
    People who exhibit road rage
    Strangers on the street

How to protect your health against such people:

   1. First, think carefully about your own behavior to see if you may have done or said something to cause the other party's behavior.
   
   2. If you can identify something that you did that likely offended the other party, if possible, offer a sincere apology. If he or she accepts your apology, things work out well for both parties. If your apology is not accepted, you can at least walk away with some level of peace of mind, knowing that you owned up to your behavior.
   
   3. If you cannot think of a single thing that you did that could have offended the other party, give him or her a silent "H&G" and walk away. Confronting the other party about unkind behavior is not likely to be fruitful. Since you don't have to co-exist on a regular basis, you can take the mindset of "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." In other words, the other party's unkind behavior -- unexpected by you -- is on him or her; he or she will reap natural consequences in due time.

Group 2: No real need to be close, but contact is frequent due to life circumstances

Examples of people who belong in this category:

    Fellow students
    Co-workers
    Neighbors
    Members of groups that you regularly meet with (church, book club, sports club, etc.)

How to protect your health against such people:

   1. As before, start by examining your own behavior to see if you can come up with a reasonable cause for the other party's unacceptable behavior. If you cannot come up with a reason for the other party's behavior, find someone who you can trust to be as objective and honest as possible, and explain the conflict to him or her as thoroughly and accurately as possible. Ask for honest feedback on how you might have triggered the other party's behavior.
   
   2. If appropriate, apologize for your behavior. If you and your advisor have thought long and hard about the conflict and cannot identify anything that you need to apologize for, work on developing compassion for the other party.

      Most can agree that people are not born to be mean-spirited and toxic to others. People can become mean-spirited and toxic to others for varying periods of time if they encounter enough hurt, disappointment, and/or anger in their own journeys. Maybe the other party is jealous of you and consumed by his or her own failures. Maybe he or she is just going through a really rough time due to a loss in the family. Maybe he or she has never truly felt cared about by another person. Maybe the other party has been treated so poorly by family members that sensitivity has been numbed and he or she has no idea that you feel like you have been mistreated. The idea is to generate enough compassion for the other party to overpower or at least quell your hurt feelings.

      This doesn't mean that you need to be a martyr or a doormat and go asking for another two tight slaps to your other cheek. Developing some compassion for the other party's behavior is meant to prevent said behavior from causing you to stew and stay emotionally unbalanced for a long time after the actual moment of conflict. And if the other party has or develops the courage to apologize to you, having some pre-made compassion available in your heart improves your chances of offering genuine forgiveness and experiencing that much more emotional harmony.
   
   3. After you have worked on developing compassion for the other person's circumstances, if you haven't received an apology, be kind, but don't push for a make-up session. An important part of experiencing emotional balance is learning to teach others that you expect to be treated with kindness and respect. To seek out a make-up session when you have done nothing wrong and the other party has not mustered up the courage to apologize is to teach him or her that you can be walked on.

Group 3: Ideal to be close

Examples of people who belong in this category:

    Immediate family members
    Relatives
    Friends that you have good reason to respect

How to protect your health against such people:

   1. Go through the first two steps outlined above; try to figure out if you did something wrong, and apologize if you can think of something.
   
   2. While it's important that you teach family members and close friends how you expect to be treated, in some cases, it may be necessary for you to seek out a make-up session even if the other party has not apologized for his or her behavior.

      For example, if it was your spouse who mistreated you, and he or she has not owned up to the mistreatment, if you know from experience that he or she is not likely to initiate a conversation that can lead to healing, and a top priority for you is to have your children grow up in a mostly peaceful and love-filled environment, it may be best for you to reach out first. By reaching out first in such a scenario, the hope is that you inspire your partner to edge closer to taking more responsibility for his or her actions during the next conflict. Clearly, this proactive and almost martyr-like approach to increase understanding and intimacy is most appropriate in situations where you are deeply committed to the long term relationship that you have with the other party.

     

[Dexter Morgan]

Well, that describes my boss to a T. She virtually sucks the life out of everybody, she comes in to contact with. The days that I work with her, I come home emotionally,and physically drained.  Infact I'm getting drained just thinking about her. 

[kimmi]

I think she might be a Dementor from Azkaban.  Be afraid!  Be very afraid! 

[Mother_Earth]

Yeah, ya gotta watch those, alright...