Invictus

[libby]

Invictus is a poem I read in a science fiction book not too long after I graduated from high school.

"Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul....."

Why am I writing about it now? It just popped into my head a few days ago. But why?  I think  partly because of circumstance  (something personal, part of which I won't write about here) and partly because of something Y and others here wrote about God. And yesterday, out of the blue, I realized what was so unusual about me remembering part of a poem.

I have one sister in a nursing home type place with a diagnosis that means she may linger for a long time but not know who she is or why she's there at least part of the time. Another sister has fairly late stage Parkinson's. And we learned about a week ago that a niece's husband died suddenly -- they were living in Okinawa. She's back here now while her husband's body is somewhere en route by military aircraft. (He was a civilian working for the military.)

As for me, I  am by nature an optimist, but depression seems to have found me. And our talk here about God. And then I remembered when, where, how I first read that poem:

About the time I graduated from high school, I learned, while working part time at a local hospital, that my father was dying of lung cancer. I knew before my mother did, and had to make some quick personal decisions .We were a church going family so other than praying, I decided to write to a TV preacher who was known for healing by the laying on of hands. After about 2 weeks I got a form letter telling me to pray for him. That's when I stopped going to church. I didn't go to daddy's funeral. And some time after that I read the poem Invictus. And what I came away with, what was going on in my brain without me consciously thinking of it, was that religion was too complicated, and that I had a soul. And it worked for me. I still believe it. I believe the soul lives on and that is enough for me.



Here's the rest of the poem:

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried     
Under the bludgeonning of chance
My head is bloody but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and still finds me unafraid."
... By William Ernest Henley

[Henry Hawk]

Libby
Sorry to hear about your family issues...


I never read that poem before and I like it!


I looked it up and found yet another verse you left out


It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

[libby]

Libby
Sorry to hear about your family issues...


I never read that poem before and I like it!


I looked it up and found yet another verse you left out


It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

Hello and thanks, Hank. It did however surprise me to learn that you like it.

[Palehorse]

My soul takes great hope from that poem. Unconquerable. Quite !

Thanks for sharing. It seems , and was, decades ago when I first ran across it. So long ago I had all but forgotten it.

I sincerely wish that the hope I find in this poem is transferred to you a thousand times over, as you face these multiple trials life has placed before you. You ARE unconquerable Libby. I feel it. May you feel it too. 

[Anne]

Libby, I am sorry for your troubles. I remember that poem from high school. I liked it then but haven't thought about it for years.

[libby]

Libby, I am sorry for your troubles. I remember that poem from high school. I liked it then but haven't thought about it for years.

Thank you, Anne. That poem changed my life.

[libby]

My soul takes great hope from that poem. Unconquerable. Quite !

Thanks for sharing. It seems , and was, decades ago when I first ran across it. So long ago I had all but forgotten it.

I sincerely wish that the hope I find in this poem is transferred to you a thousand times over, as you face these multiple trials life has placed before you. You ARE unconquerable Libby. I feel it. May you feel it too. 

Thank you, Palehorse.  I have never written about it before. No one in my family has seemed to have a clue that I'm a tad different-- although my dear mother, who passed away years ago, looked at me once and said, "Libby, if you had  not been born at home I would swear you were dropped  off here by aliens."

[libby]

Thank you, Palehorse. I have never written about it before. I wish I were as eloquent as you. When I write I don't have a clue what the finished product will be. My dear mother, who passed away years ago, looked at me once and said, "Libby, if you had  not been born at home I would swear you were dropped  off here by aliens."

[Locutus]

Sorry to hear of what you're going through, Libby.  You are a valued member of our small family here.  I hope 2019 works out better for you than 2018.

I think you know my views on religion and god, but we all have to find our own way in that regard.  I'm glad you seem to have found yours. 

[AbbyTC]

Hoping things get better for you, Libby.  From what I can tell of you from our interactions here, you seem to me like a strong woman. 

I like the lines Hank found, particularly "I am the master of my fate".   I know I've read this poem before; maybe high school or college.

[libby]

Sorry to hear of what you're going through, Libby.  You are a valued member of our small family here.  I hope 2019 works out better for you than 2018.

I think you know my views on religion and god, but we all have to find our own way in that regard.  I'm glad you seem to have found yours. 

Well,      I wrote an answer to you but lost it, so I'll try again and keep it short(er). I  knew I was on a path I could live with about 3 years ago when an old friend introduced me to his son, an electrical engineer who works for a well known aerospace company. Conversation got around to books, and I said I had a lot, especially old sci-fi, but a lot seemed to point to quantum physics, about which I knew nothing. He asked if I had anything by a certain writer. The name sounded familiar but I couldn't place why. As we were leaving, he handed  me a piece of paper and said I should look him up, and with a smile, said goodbye. I found the famous author : Richard P. Feynman, and realized I underlined something he wrote in one of my books:

"I think it is safe to say that no one understands quantum mechanics. Do not keep saying to yourself, if you can possibly avoid it, "But how can  it be like that?" because you will go down the drain into a blind alley from which nobody has yet escaped. Nobody knows how it can be like that."

But what has that to do with religion and/or God? Same answer as above.

[libby]

Hoping things get better for you, Libby.  From what I can tell of you from our interactions here, you seem to me like a strong woman. 

I like the lines Hank found, particularly "I am the master of my fate".   I know I've read this poem before; maybe high school or college.

Thanks, Abby.  I agree with what you wrote about the part I didn't post that Hank pointed out. 

[Henry Hawk]

Hello and thanks, Hank. It did however surprise me to learn that you like it.

I really do like it!  I see it as a message of - never losing hope no matter what the circumstance, and how you control your fate and decide your future is up to you- the difference in that statement between you and I, I "think" is.......that I believe I choose my fate and future with the precept that I am letting God control things....I have faith/hope in ALL things because of my faith in God.  That is just the way I choose to view life.  It works wonderful for me.  But, that is something everyone has to find what works for them. 

[libby]

I really do like it!  I see it as a message of - never losing hope no matter what the circumstance, and how you control your fate and decide your future is up to you- the difference in that statement between you and I, I "think" is.......that I believe I choose my fate and future with the precept that I am letting God control things....I have faith/hope in ALL things because of my faith in God.  That is just the way I choose to view life.  It works wonderful for me.  But, that is something everyone has to find what works for them.

Well, faith  in God didn't work for me when I prayed for him to save my father, who was dying of cancer. In your opinion, why didn't God answer MY prayers? Because he has favorites?  --  or I did something wrong? I was only 16 and I believed.

[AbbyTC]

I really do like it!  I see it as a message of - never losing hope no matter what the circumstance, and how you control your fate and decide your future is up to you- the difference in that statement between you and I, I "think" is.......that I believe I choose my fate and future with the precept that I am letting God control things....I have faith/hope in ALL things because of my faith in God.  That is just the way I choose to view life.  It works wonderful for me.  But, that is something everyone has to find what works for them.

Henry, I don't understand your statement " I believe I choose my fate and future with the precept that I am letting God control things..." that seems like a conflicting thought.  (I'm not being argumentative, I've been there, and being out of it, I see the inaneness of the sentence.)  In reality, YOU are the one who makes the decisions and steers your life.  I have Christian friends who say, "I prayed for an answer and didn't get one.  So I'm going to use my judgement and make a decision."  It isn't god who is answering and making those decisions, it's you.  You may feel it's god because you prayed and felt like you got direction, but in reality you have made the decision using your own thought process on how to proceed

To piggyback off of Libby,

  why didn't God answer MY prayers? Because he has favorites?  --  or I did something wrong?

"... why didn't God answer MY prayers?...." Where was god when I cried out for help as an abused child? (I grew up in a "christian" home so praying and believing was something I knew and did.) What about as an abused wife? I have problems believing a god who would turn his back on a child being abused, or, according to the Bible, only allowing divorce if there is adultery.  It wasn't until I took matters in my own hands and stopped praying did things change.  Like the poem says, I am the master of my fate. 

What happens when two football teams pray to win?  God must have a favorite then!    Again, Henry, I'm not trying to pick a fight or be an ass about this.  How do you answer these questions?