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It's Already Here. . .

Started by Palehorse, November 20, 2016, 06:19:13 PM

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Palehorse

November 20, 2016, 06:19:13 PM
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.

"These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information," Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. "And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."

More worryingly, Logsdon said, "As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful."

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. "The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified," Logsdon said.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. "Our research is very preliminary, but it's possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen," he said.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans

This explains a whole lot!  :yes: :biggrin:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

AbbyTC

#1
November 20, 2016, 06:49:50 PM
Thank you for a good laugh!  I needed that with all the other shit that is going on right now. 
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.

Palehorse

#2
November 20, 2016, 06:58:04 PM
 :biggrin:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

libby

#3
November 20, 2016, 08:11:33 PM
YES! Thanks for a good laugh!  :lol:
All of life is a process of testing and initiation, always preparing for a higher level of consciousness -- and illumination. -- John Horn

Palehorse

#4
November 20, 2016, 08:24:42 PM
Quote from: libby on November 20, 2016, 08:11:33 PM
YES! Thanks for a good laugh!  :lol:

:biggrin:  I cracked up when I read it, so of course I had to share.  :biggrin:
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

Locutus

#5
November 21, 2016, 01:17:28 PM
I searched on that, because I knew I had seen it before.  That same article has already been posted twice around here.  ;D

I posted it first right here:

http://theunknownzone.dailynuisanceproductions.com/index.php?topic=19239.msg505622#msg505622

..and then Exterminator posted it again right here:

http://theunknownzone.dailynuisanceproductions.com/index.php?topic=17637.msg518672#msg518672

... and now it's back for its third appearance.   ;D
One of the gravest dangers to the survival of our republic is an ignorant electorate routinely feeding at the trough of propaganda.   -- Locutus

"We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically."  -- Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson

Purplelady1040

#6
November 21, 2016, 02:32:52 PM
Thanks for the laugh. I needed a laugh.

Palehorse

#7
November 21, 2016, 03:33:28 PM
Quote from: Locutus on November 21, 2016, 01:17:28 PM
I searched on that, because I knew I had seen it before.  That same article has already been posted twice around here.  ;D

I posted it first right here:

http://theunknownzone.dailynuisanceproductions.com/index.php?topic=19239.msg505622#msg505622

..and then Exterminator posted it again right here:

http://theunknownzone.dailynuisanceproductions.com/index.php?topic=17637.msg518672#msg518672

... and now it's back for its third appearance.   ;D

As the title says- "It's Already Here". . .  :wink:  :rotfl: (In more ways than one).
R.I.P. - followsthewolf - You are MISSED! 4/17/2013

That which fails to kill me. . .should run!

Any "point" made by one that lacks credibility, is only as useful as toilet paper; and serves the same purpose. ~ Palehorse 4/22/2017

May you find charity when it is needed, and the ability to extend it when it is not. ~Palehorse 7/4/2012

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.~Herman Melville

Locutus

#8
November 21, 2016, 03:35:37 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on November 21, 2016, 03:33:28 PM
As the title says- "It's Already Here". . .  :wink:  :rotfl: (In more ways than one).

:yes:  :biggrin:
One of the gravest dangers to the survival of our republic is an ignorant electorate routinely feeding at the trough of propaganda.   -- Locutus

"We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically."  -- Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson

Exterminator

#9
November 21, 2016, 03:45:44 PM
Quote from: Palehorse on November 21, 2016, 03:33:28 PM
As the title says- "It's Already Here". . .  :wink:  :rotfl: (In more ways than one).

Well played!   :biggrin:
Arguing with Christians is like playing chess with a pigeon.  No matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

The truth is slow, but relentless. Over time it becomes irresistible.

Henry Hawk

#10
November 21, 2016, 03:47:32 PM
That really explains as to why, the pollsters and the media ALL got this election wrong!!!  It ALL MAKES perfect sense now..... :razz: :yes:   they couldn't help themselves, they had a bug!!  ;D
"The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left."
Ecclesiastes 10:2 - It all makes sense to me now...


"The future ain't what it used to be."– Yogi Berra

"Square roots are rarely found on any plant." FTW

Exterminator

#11
November 22, 2016, 10:11:38 AM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on November 21, 2016, 03:47:32 PM
That really explains as to why, the pollsters and the media ALL got this election wrong!!!  It ALL MAKES perfect sense now..... :razz: :yes:   they couldn't help themselves, they had a bug!!  ;D 

Yet another example!
Arguing with Christians is like playing chess with a pigeon.  No matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

The truth is slow, but relentless. Over time it becomes irresistible.

The Troll

#12
November 22, 2016, 06:13:56 PM
Quote from: Henry Hawk on November 21, 2016, 03:47:32 PM
That really explains as to why, the pollsters and the media ALL got this election wrong!!!  It ALL MAKES perfect sense now..... :razz: :yes:   they couldn't help themselves, they had a bug!!  ;D


  And yet Hillary got over 2 million (2,000,000) votes in the popular vote over Trump.   :rant:  In every game, in any other vote, private or political vote, the person with the most votes win.  Only in the most important vote for the president, the damn electoral college rules.  If the law was made today it would unconstitutional.   :mad: :mad: :mad: :rant:

  Now Blubber Mouth you have it all.   :yes: You got the presidency, the Senate, the Representatives, Indiana state house and 66% of all other state houses.   :rant:  Yep, it all yours and I am going to be good to you Republicans as you assholes have been to Obama.  :angry:  :kissit:

Locutus

#13
November 22, 2016, 06:20:32 PM
Quote from: The Troll on November 22, 2016, 06:13:56 PM

Only in the most important vote for the president, the damn electoral college rules.  If the law was made today it would unconstitutional. 


I'm not sure anything that's in the Constitution can be unconstitutional.  :razz:  ;D

Just messin' with ya' Troll.  :haha:
One of the gravest dangers to the survival of our republic is an ignorant electorate routinely feeding at the trough of propaganda.   -- Locutus

"We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically."  -- Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson
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