hey dex....this is funny

[smokeykat]

the following article was in our local newspaper.  Maleah is our local animal advocate.  this is so cute...I thought you would enjoy it.

MALEAH STRINGER: To know Duncan is to shave him

— My boy Duncan is a black, 20-pound lump of a cat. He is one of the most endearing creatures that I've ever known. I found him in the parking lot at work, in the dead of winter, crying his heart out. He knew a sucker when he saw one.
He's a talker, a bully and ornery as the devil. He sleeps flat on his back with his legs sticking straight up in the air, as if he'd been electrocuted. Duncan is a clumsy oaf, and when he runs, it's as if he has high heels strapped to his fat little paws. He is not above peeing outside the litter box in retaliation for slights he believes were committed by me or the other animals in the household.
Duncan started having urinary tract infections when he was 2. My veterinarian recommended that he have all his "male equipment" removed so that, when he did get infections, it would not be a life-or-death situation. Physically, the bully Duncan is now Duncetta. He's been mad ever since.
Duncan has long silky fur, and he has grooming issues. He doesn't do it. He's a pigpen of a cat. Unfortunately, that long silky hair grows into the opening that was surgically created, and if the hair is not removed, it can cause a tight little plug. This can cause bacterial infections in his urinary tract, so I have the unfortunate duty of shaving his little butt bald. We BOTH hate butt-shaving days.
If I even think about getting the clippers, he disappears. It appears he can read my mind, so I have to hunt him down. He starts screaming as soon as I pick him up and head to the sunroom. He gets back at me by shooting pee out like a fire hose. He spits, salivates and swings those chubby little arms like clubs. The screaming is ear-piercing, and it goes on and on. This starts the dogs barking and whining, and the other cats scatter like buckshot.
Except for Lucy, who is a little, black female cat. The first time she witnessed the shaving adventure, she hissed in sympathy, slapped me once then hurried away. Last week, she decided to take more drastic measures. I'm sitting on the floor, with a good hold on Duncan, shaving away while he is screaming bloody murder. I'm almost done when I hear another high-pitched scream. The next thing I know a weight has dropped on my head, and there are four points of sharp pain. I grab for my head, not quite sure what has happened to me. I'm spinning round and round trying to see what's on my head. I roll my eyes up only to see little Lucy's wild eyes staring into mine. She's arched up like a Halloween cat, with her little sharp claws clamped into my skull. Duncan has stopped screaming and seems to be watching with a kind of surprised wonder and glee.
I manage to detach Lucy from my head, removing only a minimum of flesh as she stalks off with one last hiss. Duncan streaks out with his newly shorn butt shining like the sun, and I swear he's laughing. I'm left dabbing at the blood as it dribbles out of my head and looking at little Lucy with just a bit of fear. Next time, I'm wearing my bike helmet.
---

[me]

I can just picture that in my mind.   

[Dexter Morgan]

  Thanks for the laugh Smokeykat, that was hysterical!!! I have cats that resemble the cat in that story.