MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.
The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.
"These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information," Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. "And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."
More worryingly, Logsdon said, "As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful."
While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. "The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified," Logsdon said.
While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. "Our research is very preliminary, but it's possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen," he said.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans (http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans)
This explains a whole lot! :yes: :biggrin:
Thank you for a good laugh! I needed that with all the other shit that is going on right now.
:biggrin:
YES! Thanks for a good laugh! :lol:
Quote from: libby on November 20, 2016, 08:11:33 PM
YES! Thanks for a good laugh! :lol:
:biggrin: I cracked up when I read it, so of course I had to share. :biggrin:
I searched on that, because I knew I had seen it before. That same article has already been posted twice around here. ;D
I posted it first right here:
http://theunknownzone.dailynuisanceproductions.com/index.php?topic=19239.msg505622#msg505622
..and then Exterminator posted it again right here:
http://theunknownzone.dailynuisanceproductions.com/index.php?topic=17637.msg518672#msg518672
... and now it's back for its third appearance. ;D
Thanks for the laugh. I needed a laugh.
Quote from: Locutus on November 21, 2016, 01:17:28 PM
I searched on that, because I knew I had seen it before. That same article has already been posted twice around here. ;D
I posted it first right here:
http://theunknownzone.dailynuisanceproductions.com/index.php?topic=19239.msg505622#msg505622
..and then Exterminator posted it again right here:
http://theunknownzone.dailynuisanceproductions.com/index.php?topic=17637.msg518672#msg518672
... and now it's back for its third appearance. ;D
As the title says- "It's Already Here". . . :wink: :rotfl: (In more ways than one).
Quote from: Palehorse on November 21, 2016, 03:33:28 PM
As the title says- "It's Already Here". . . :wink: :rotfl: (In more ways than one).
:yes: :biggrin:
Quote from: Palehorse on November 21, 2016, 03:33:28 PM
As the title says- "It's Already Here". . . :wink: :rotfl: (In more ways than one).
Well played! :biggrin:
That really explains as to why, the pollsters and the media ALL got this election wrong!!! It ALL MAKES perfect sense now..... :razz: :yes: they couldn't help themselves, they had a bug!! ;D
Quote from: Henry Hawk on November 21, 2016, 03:47:32 PM
That really explains as to why, the pollsters and the media ALL got this election wrong!!! It ALL MAKES perfect sense now..... :razz: :yes: they couldn't help themselves, they had a bug!! ;D
Yet another example! (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect)
Quote from: Henry Hawk on November 21, 2016, 03:47:32 PM
That really explains as to why, the pollsters and the media ALL got this election wrong!!! It ALL MAKES perfect sense now..... :razz: :yes: they couldn't help themselves, they had a bug!! ;D
And yet Hillary got over 2 million (2,000,000) votes in the popular vote over Trump. :rant: In every game, in any other vote, private or political vote, the person with the most votes win. Only in the most important vote for the president, the damn electoral college rules. If the law was made today it would unconstitutional. :mad: :mad: :mad: :rant:
Now Blubber Mouth you have it all. :yes: You got the presidency, the Senate, the Representatives, Indiana state house and 66% of all other state houses. :rant: Yep, it all yours and I am going to be good to you Republicans as you assholes have been to Obama. :angry: :kissit:
Quote from: The Troll on November 22, 2016, 06:13:56 PM
Only in the most important vote for the president, the damn electoral college rules. If the law was made today it would unconstitutional.
I'm not sure anything that's in the Constitution can be unconstitutional. :razz: ;D
Just messin' with ya' Troll. :haha: