a few of my favorite self-composed titles from It Grows Darker Still (aka book 2)... in no particular order:
Descending Still
No light at the end of this long tunnel,
ever I descend into the dark,
yet I fear not man, nor beast, nor...
GOD, He has forsaken me—
alone I bear this cross.
Another angel
fallen to earth,
every hour
closer
to
HELL.
***
Internity
I stare at my reflection
in the broken mirror glass,
I've long forgotten the battered girl
that I find staring back.
As I look into the mirror,
the young girl starts to sway.
I stare a moment longer
and she's started to decay.
I can see her pain growing
while I watch her rotting flesh.
I whisper very quietly,
"Go, dear girl, now to your rest."
I want to close my eyes
or at least just turn away,
but something keeps me peering
at this hideous display.
The victim of a tortured past,
her eyes invite my despair.
Her skeleton falls away—
all that's left is her stare.
***
Chaotic Enigma
A blood red sun sears
across the velvet sky
melting the horizon
in the dark behind my eyes.
An evil moon is rising
bringing forth the starless night.
The darkness slowly stalks me
and I fear I know its plight.
Black-veined storm clouds burst
with a thick and oily rain,
I'm covered in the gloom
as it hollows out my brain.
Enveloped in the shadow
from my chrysalis I appear,
I've become something so stark
that even I myself have come to fear.
A dangerous threat
so icy cold and hot-blistery,
I am darkness evolved—
a hybrid of chaos and mystery.
Seductively jeopardous,
passionately hypnotic,
I am a nightmare
an enigma chaotic.
***
Deliverance
My
torment;
all my pain
and broken thoughts
inside fractured brain.
I'll never be the same—
parasitic fantasy,
obliterated memories,
I find I'm my biggest enemy.
How in the hell did I come to this end?
God deliver me from myself and my sins,
quiet the demons of destruction,
save me from this self-corruption—
my blissful insanity.
Where is my vanity?
I am bleeding and
I fear I lack
all the strength
to bring
me
back.
***
A Journey in Dementia
On my journey I must cross
one hundred rivulets of blood.
Along the banks of dementia,
my sanity turns to mud.
Memories—malcontented warriors
with vampire teeth and werewolf eyes
continuously stalk me while I wake;
on the wings of guardian angels they ride.
Dead bodies twinkle like palpable stars
as the moon shines forth it's pallid glow.
Skeletons like flowers grow from the ground,
the rivulets crash the banks as they furiously flow.
Souls hang like rotten, rusty fruit
from the long-dead husks of trees;
all along the way they haunt.
Will this torment never cease?
I continue my journey,
the rivulets crossed and kept;
one hundred rivulets of blood
that I myself have wept.
***
Departure
Departing voices spring endless,
soft morning roses
smell silky uncovered.
The past waited like
a dead end blue night
that falls very cold.
I'm building a sand house
come tomorrow;
desire arches my gauntlet,
my eyes wander pale streets
at midnight.
***
The Garden
A garden grows
far away from here,
but when I close my eyes
it seems so very near.
It is a place of beautiful flowers,
lush grass and perfect trees,
and something that smells like freedom
floating on the breeze.
This garden is the most beautiful place
that I have ever known,
but there is something very wrong—
all the children have turned to stone.
They are captured innocence.
Oh, how they sit so still.
You can tell by their frightened eyes
that they are kept against their will.
Their only sin was treading
on this most tainted ground.
Now, forever in this place
their tiny souls are bound.
There is an evil garden
miles away and years ago.
It is a beautiful place
where stone children grow.
***
Insurgence
I refuse to succumb to the spires
of grass beneath my feet,
though my last drops of blood
taint this paltry soliloquy.
Relentless is the light
that I find closing in—
it's as ubiquitous as the dread
that creeps under my skin.
I will fight with all my strength,
like a thousand times before.
I'll reveal my juvenescence
as I prepare myself for war.
From my furious choler
it will quake with great fear.
Though it's time for battle,
this foe dares not draw near.
I'll persistently proceed
until the egregious light atones—
I'll attack until the moment
gravity lays claim upon my bones.
I refuse to succumb to the spires
of grass beneath my feet,
though nothing is left
of this paltry soliloquy.
***
The Crucifix
At the end of the hallway
at the top of the stairs
a large crucifix sits,
my Grandfather hung it there.
I entered through the front door
and started up the steps.
The crucifix was right in front of me,
what a strange concept.
An eternally dying Jesus
stares at me as I walk.
To my bedroom I quickly venture
as the eyes of the living statue stalk.
I always thought to myself,
"That Jesus looks way too real,
the look in His eyes is so tortured.
Oh, the agony he must feel!"
Several nails were missing
from the crucifix one day.
Jesus was trying with all his might
to climb down and walk away.
He started to evolve
and by the time He'd gotten free
He wasn't only Jesus—
He was the God who had forsaken me.
***
Hide and Seek
It's like I'm dead and I found the body,
that leaves no one to break it to me
gently and sugar-coat the truth.
The image forever burning
my eyes, destroying thought
and dream and nightmare—
reality.
I'll never
rest in
peace.
***
Lefty
Bartender, pour my drink
and set it on the bar.
How can I feel so
l
o
w
when I have come so far?
Keep them coming,
don't STOP now
I have to
k
i
l
l
this pain somehow.
Just pass the bottle
f o r g e t
the glass
I am well beyond the point
of having tact or class.
It is near impossible to
d
r
o
w
n
my sorrow
when I know
I will wake up tomorrow.
***
History
My son, at the tender age of three,
smiled and softly said to me,
"I knew Great Grampy when he was little
and I'll know him again.
You see, Mommy, when Grampy was a little boy
we used to play pretend."
"We hit a ball with a stick
and then we looked at rocks.
We walked for hours and hours
until we had holes in our socks."
"We laughed and played
as we roamed real far,
Grampy brought his toy tractor
and I brought my favorite car."
"Mommy, when Grampy was so little
we were the best of friends.
I knew him once before
and I will know him again."
***
Goodbye, Grandpa
If you must go,
go without fear
for God is with you
and I am near.
I wish you an eternity
of the things you've long since had:
true peace, your siblings,
your mom and your dad.
Goodbye, Grandpa,
be free from your pain.
I know I'll see you
someday again.
***
You Sting
Sting me with bitter words of conflict. Your
violence inducing tone shivers
through my heart. I love you most when
I hate you for days on end.
I find your anger so
soothing, like sour
lullabies sung
for blood and
tears. You
sting.
***
The Life of a Paranoid Delusion
All the time I spend with you,
everything I say or do,
I confess is an illusion—
I am a paranoid delusion.
When I ask you how you feel,
I show concern that isn't real,
but I am always what you expect;
I never laugh at you or reject.
I do things that only you see
and I keep secrets between you and me.
You think we are the best of friends,
you hope our time never ends.
I must admit, I quite agree
after all, you created me.
I'm not trying to add to the confusion,
but I am only a paranoid delusion.
***