a few of my favorite self-composed titles from Terminal Darkness (aka book 3)... in no particular order:
Infection
There's a special place in Hell for me
and I am there right now.
If there is a way to end this pain,
then I must find out how.
These thoughts of you are maddening
and I must make them stop.
Surely they will end my life
if I find that I cannot.
There's a special place in Hell for me
in which I shall remain.
I cannot get you off my mind—
you're driving me insane.
The sight of you is blinding
it sears right through my soul.
I long for you obsessive,
I need you to feel whole.
There's a special place in Hell for me,
a place where fire burns.
I can take this no longer—
the torment slowly churns.
The sound of you is deafening,
your whisper haunts me ever.
You call to me in my sleep,
freedom will come never.
There's a special place in Hell for me—
the Hell you've brought me to.
I'll burn for eternity,
I'll spend it there with you.
***
Pulse
Asleep my bed—
music listens to my ears.
I thought ill of it and quite,
such sick delicious it wakes.
Yesterday worry killed my loves,
I thought it seemed rather still—
the dead kind found sick—betrayed,
asleep my music lay.
***
Comedown
You are now but a mere
splash of red on the concrete.
How sad that you're end was so
anti-climactic.
I feel so cheated—robbed!
Where are the fireworks
and choirs of angels?
You may have lost your life
but I lost an entire afternoon.
What a disappointment.
***
Terminal Darkness
A halo of brains crowning the head
lungs forming a set of wings.
Rows and rows of intestines
lay around her feet in rings.
Setting upon her jutting ribs
lies an inverted, rotting heart.
The maggots churn and writhe about
splintering leathery skin apart.
A spine slinks through her back
and the sternum has cracked wide.
With all of this darkness exposed—
there isn't much else to hide.
An empty socket stares at me,
the other eye through infection.
I realize in an instant—
I gaze upon my own reflection.
***
Still Water
Storm crashing,
momentarily meandering
aware of myself
and the depth of inward shadow.
My motive trembles soft,
memories of wandered youth—
sharp reminiscence pierced gentle.
Broken images beyond my thoughts
crashed beneath the shore.
Fermented tides of blood beach.
My silhouette huddles now;
the shoreline houses
waves of swelling destruction.
***
Kiss
Kiss me ever gently—
in raptured bliss I lie.
Subtle whispers in passionate glances,
sweetly in slumber both you and I.
***
Interminable
Your fingerprints indelible
dance across my skin,
visible eternally
revealing my sin.
I wouldn't wash them away,
even if I could.
They remind me of you
and they feel so good.
Your handprints permanent
walk across my flesh—
no one loves me better,
you're certainly the best.
I wouldn't erase them,
no matter what.
Though they sting like glass,
it's the softest cut.
Your lip prints indefinite
crawl across my skin,
I love the way they feel—
I long for you again.
***
Shriek
Coagulated remnants of mercy
flood my veins like ten pints of embalming
fluid. I'm frustrated by
your pathetic displays
of affection. I've
been merciful
too long. With
spite I
shriek.
***
Treasure
This small wooden box
holds many things.
They seem like simple trinkets to you,
but, oh, what emotion they bring!
A box full of memories,
this is what I hold.
Thoughts and promises
and secrets of old.
A lock of Grandfather's hair,
my Labrador's tags,
my Great-Aunt's jewelry—
cherished possessions I have.
A porcelain thimble,
Grandmother's funeral card,
pictures from childhood I look at
when dropping my guard.
This small wooden box
that I keep near.
A box full of memories
that I hold dear.
***
Guardian
I may not have had a father
past the age of ten.
I had something better,
BETTER, I proudly say again.
I had something
most people never do;
I had my Grandfather—
none compared to you.
He loved and guided,
nurtured and cared.
Though you've passed away:
I know that you're still there.
More than a Grandfather,
my most trusted friend.
It's been almost two years without you,
I wish this pain could end.
I never had a daddy,
this I've always said:
I never had a daddy,
I had something far better instead.
***